yoloXXX Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Hey guys! This is my first time here, so first and foremost I just want to say hi! I am currently a sophomore in college and I have not dealt with starting a relationship in a very long time. I've had two serious boyfriends since high school and I just broke up with my most recent boyfriend over the summer. So I'm struggling a little bit with figuring out what to do. I've talked to some of my friends about my current situation and I would really appreciate some outside input...I'm starting to get really frustrated with my situation, so anything would be greatly appreciated. First off, I met this guy at the beginning of the year. He lives in my dorm and is friends with the girls that I live next door to. He is also currently in my stats class so I see him almost every morning. I did not really start developing feelings for him until January. I always thought he was incredibly attractive but I wasn't ready for a relationship at that time. When I first met him, I was nervous to talk to him--I didn't want to say the wrong thing and in the back of my mind I was always thinking, "how could a guy like him ever like a girl like me." So I was really shy at first. But over the past few months we have grown closer and closer. In the morning's before stats we eat breakfast together and talk about anything. I always look forward to seeing him in the morning now because he makes me laugh, which sometimes I really need in the morning's at 7:30. It used to be that he would just pass by my door and wave in at me and go talk to the girls who live next to me, but now he actually stops in my room too and talks to me for a few minutes. Whenever we're together he's always smiling, and blushing, and sometimes I think I make him just as nervous as he makes me. A couple of weeks ago, my best friend from home came to visit me. He was here for the weekend and I asked this guy to come down and meet him. WHen he came down, my friend was laying on my bed helping me with homework. We talked for awhile and then he left and went back upstairs. After that he stopped going to breakfast and he stopped coming down to say hi everyday. I really missed him in the morning's and I was never really sure if he stopped going to breakfast because my friend had been here and it may have seemed like something was going on between us or if he just didn't feel like going to breakfast. He rubbed it off saying he figured out he could wake up 10 minutes before class and still have time to get breakfast and make it to class on time. Just this past weekend I took a HUGE step forward and asked him to hang out on Saturday night. He came down to my room and instead of asking him to go do something, I just talked to him for a few minutes outside my door and then went back in to my room to watch tv (like an idiot). I panicked and didn't know what to ask him to do. I regretted it immediately and texted him saying I was just really tired and asked if he wanted to hang out Sunday. He said okay, but then never came down so I assumed he was too tired and didn't want to. But later Sunday night he came down to my room and sat and talked with me for awhile. The next morning he was at breakfast again. I just recently told one of my friends who is also friends with him how I feel and I asked her for her advice. Even though I had told her not to talk to him, she asked him if he likes me and if he does he needs to tell me and if he doesn't he needs to tell me. He responded with "I don't know." I don't know what that means and I don't know what to do about it. I know he knows that I like him now, and thankfully our relationship hasn't really changed. I know that he has a hard time committing because he had a hard childhood. As a result he tends to sleep around with a lot of different girls and he doesn't respect them as much as he should. But he has treated me with so much respect and I know he would never do that to me. I don't know if I should just say goodbye or if I should keep trying to get him to tell me the truth about what he's feeling. I don't want to push him away, but I really want to be with him. He makes me happy, and I think I have the same effect on him. Please help!
Disenchantedly Yours Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Awww, to be that young again! All that youthful positiveness. Yoloxx, When a man says "I don't know", in response to being asked if he likes you. Believe him. When a man sleeps around with alot of girls and doesn't respect them, the chances of him sleeping with you and respecting you are not good. He very well may have had a difficult childhood but that does not justify treating people a certain way. It does not jusitfy using girls and disrespecting them. I think you can safely bet that his charming personality is what got alot of girls to be with him. When it comes to young college guys, most are going to want to play the field. And it sounds like he knows how to play women. Don't get sucked into it. Heed the warning signs. You know they are there because you are here asking about it. Be strong and resolute with what you know and see about him. If you want to be friends with him, I think that's fine. But I do not suggest sleeping with him or getting overly involved because he doesn't really sound like someone that's that serious when it comes to woman at this point and time. He's young. He's in college. He has a history of being with many women. When plainly asked if he was into you, he said he didn't know. Don't get blinded by the happy feelings and what you currently see as respectful behavior toward you right now. It will save you a lot of heartache and feeling used. Tred carefully here. Don't give him too much of yourself too soon. Infact, I don't really think he sounds like that great a guy.
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