mymission Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I went to a Festival this weekend and I thought to myself before I went that I'd forget about him and block him out. And I did, I had a great time. I had a little bit of a flirt as well (nothing else lol). But now I'm back home, and he's right back in my head. Grinding away at me like before. I miss him.
TaraMaiden Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 So you broke up in February some time.... right? for some reason i was mixing you up with someone else...i thought it was longer.... It's been around 2 months, and i understand your pain, but you can't expect to get over someone, by a quantifiable degree, day by day. it fluctuates... and you've realsied that now... right? Try to determine when the worst time is... And AFAIK or can determine - it's the quiet 'at-home' evenings that are the worst. A very good method is to then, at these times, focus on yourself, but to do so in a positive and constructive way. Invest in some visualisation/meditation CD's, some self-help literature and some uplifting and glorious music. get relaxation, sleep-inducing music (It all exists, I have loads) because it's a proven fact that listening to such material while going to sleep - and being asleep - had an extremely positive, subliminal impact on your psyche.... get into the habit of writing a journal about your feelings: Write all the negative stuff on a loose-leaf pad, and then when you have completely expressed what you want to say - tear out the pages, and burn them, vowing that the particular sentiments you've written down, are no longer going to affect you, and you refuse to carry that crap around in your mind for one more day. Keep doing this for as long as you need to. But be determined to get it all out, and to stop chewing it over and over.... Write all the positive stuff in a hard-back book. Positive thoughts, sayings, quotations, affirmations, good things about yourself and your progress.... and keep it, and keep referring to it when you need a good push in the right direction... even if a single input for one day, simply consists of a single pressed flower petal.... Be good to yourself. If you really have so much love to give, and such a big heart and loving kindness and compassion, (and you obviously have) then you of all people, more than anyone else, deserve to be on the receiving end.
Author mymission Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 Thanks for the advice Tara I'll take it all on board
M2155 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 Totally normal! But that evening you spent having a good time was one evening more that you were not at home moping over him. Everyday is a little step. I also second Tara. Its a great time to write or take up some good books. I am thankful for the hours I was lost in some good mystery novels, nothing hurt during that time. 2
geegirl Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 (edited) It's normal to feel that way. And idle mind will be the devil's workshop. Keep yourself distracted, as you recently realized that you forgot him for a bit. Tara gave you great advice. Reading too helped me a lot. Immerse yourself in books and it doesn't matter what type of books. Journaling helped me organize my thoughts and my feelings and most of all helped me realize the realities, which is what you need when you begin to idealize. Snaps you back! Do nice things for yourself. It's time for some pampering! If you find your weekends are long and lonely, try volunteering, but find a cause that you're passionate about so you excel in it and find yourself wanting to do it rather than using it to kill time. If you're sitting at home moping, get up and go for a walk. I always found being outside didn't make me feel so isolated and alone, and it distracted me. Try not to sit idle, especially when it is all so fresh and you find yourself easily straying towards him. It will get better with time, few and far between. Promise! Edited April 11, 2012 by geegirl 1
Author mymission Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 Thanks guys! Its definitely right about idle minds. I work evenings so my days are long and with not much to do but think.
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