mike588 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 Keep working on your issues, Mike's a punk for his post in this thread, he was the "Old Friend" that you cheated on your ex with. Get rid of those friends and find some real friends, in the end, your ex might come around, i did, only to find out shes off playing in the same lalala land that your ex is in now You eating crow is a good start in the right direction Carefully read the 1st paragraph. You cheated on your ex. with me!
Author dsw31 Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 Carefully read the 1st paragraph. You cheated on your ex. with me! Sorry Mike, that's not what he meant.That's not the way I'm reading it anyway
mike588 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 You and I both know we don't know each other and NEVER have!
mike588 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 (edited) He...(me) was the" old friend" that YOU cheated with? You cheated on your ex. with an old male friend. Care to clairify Wilson? Edited April 11, 2012 by mike588 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 For 3 years it was unhealthy and he has maintained it was toxic. What was your reason for the illicit fling? Also, if you rekindled, it would always be in the back of his mind and he could say hurtful things out of anger. You could be at the market too long for his liking and he would say you were letting some guy thump your honeydews. You need to be on a healing journey. This fellow clearly isn't the one. When you have gotten him out of your system, you will be ready to start anew with someone else. And no more random sex with people; you are hurting yourself in a huge way:( Men are not to be used as toys; if you are feeling amorous, there are ways to take care of yourself without using people. Big hugs to you; make sure you are NC with your ex or it will hinder your healing process.
geegirl Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 He...(me) was the" old friend" that YOU cheated with? Care to clairify Wilson? I think Wilson is saying you are the equivalent of the guy she cheated with on her ex. As in you are just like the "Old Friend" she was with. I may be wrong but that is how I am reading it based on his past accusation of you. Again, I could be wrong. 2
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 He...(me) was the" old friend" that YOU cheated with? You cheated on your ex. with an old male friend. Care to clairify Wilson? I read that several times and still wondering what this means...Mike, what are you not telling us??? LOL;)
mike588 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 Keep working on your issues, Mike's a punk for his post in this thread, he was the "Old Friend" that you cheated on your ex with. Get rid of those friends and find some real friends, in the end, your ex might come around, i did, only to find out shes off playing in the same lalala land that your ex is in now You eating crow is a good start in the right direction Mike's a punk.....he (me) was the "Old Friend" YOU cheated on your ex. with. Really? My ex. and I were friends many..many years ago before reconnecting....guess he thinks we are connected.
Author dsw31 Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 For 3 years it was unhealthy and he has maintained it was toxic. What was your reason for the illicit fling? Also, if you rekindled, it would always be in the back of his mind and he could say hurtful things out of anger. You could be at the market too long for his liking and he would say you were letting some guy thump your honeydews. You need to be on a healing journey. This fellow clearly isn't the one. When you have gotten him out of your system, you will be ready to start anew with someone else. And no more random sex with people; you are hurting yourself in a huge way:( Men are not to be used as toys; if you are feeling amorous, there are ways to take care of yourself without using people. Big hugs to you; make sure you are NC with your ex or it will hinder your healing process. B&B! Welcome to this discussion!You always make me laugh & I appreciate all of your input so far on my crazy situations.I cheated because at the 5 month point in our relationship, I wasn't even sure that we were in a real exclusive relationship.I was new to dating since I had just got out of an 11 year abusive one.The guy I cheated with was my only friend throughout all of it.He encouraged me to finally get up & go & also watched out for me when I left.I was afraid my abusive ex would kill me or my family & he constantly watched out for me & encouraged me to be a better person. The night I cheated,I did it out of insecurity.I felt like since my new BF went out to hang with a friend & did not invite me that, I was lonely & needed male companionship.I know that is my problem.I feel so alone if I don't have a man around me.I didn't even realize how serious my new bf felt about me at the time because we never discussed any status (woman & their need for labels I guess)I realized how much of a mistake it was while having sex with the guy friend.Felt horrible about myself right away & realized how much.I love my BF.When he knew what I did,he wanted to dump me immediately.That was the first time we told each other that we loved each other.I wasn't even aware that he loved me.I felt it but,he never said it & it hit me like a ton of bricks.I couldn't believe what I had done & just denied it.Thinking I could get away with it & silently learn a lesson.Didn't happen-it was the biggest most hurtful lesson I had learned but it was too late. So...to sum it up,I cheated out of my own insecurities & unhappiness in being alone.I couldn't even bare 1 night to myself! I have grown from that & can hopefully learn to be happy alone.(well guess I gotta work on that still cause I just had rebound sex with another but, atleast I am single now so, as long as it was protected I guess it was another lesson learned)I won't be rebounding anymore.I need to fully heal & be happy with myself 1
geegirl Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 Mike's a punk.....he (me) was the "Old Friend" YOU cheated on your ex. with. Really? My ex. and I were friends many..many years ago before reconnecting....guess he thinks we are connected. Mike, that is not what Wilson is saying. Read my response above. Wilson is saying you are like the "Old Friend" that she was with when cheating on her ex. He's not saying you are the old friend. You are the "Old Friend" in terms of your involvement with your ex and her boyfriend.
Author dsw31 Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 Mike, that is not what Wilson is saying. Read my response above. Wilson is saying you are like the "Old Friend" that she was with when cheating on her ex. He's not saying you are the old friend. You are the "Old Friend" in terms of your involvement with your ex and her boyfriend. Alright, now I'm lost! Mike did you have sex with a friend & cheat on your girl?
wilsonx Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 Mike, that is not what Wilson is saying. Read my response above. Wilson is saying you are like the "Old Friend" that she was with when cheating on her ex. He's not saying you are the old friend. You are the "Old Friend" in terms of your involvement with your ex and her boyfriend. ZIING..... Posted by Mike March 31 ==================================================== Don't know if this will help you or not but I was a rebound. I re-connected with an old friend from many years ago. She had just gotten out of a relationship and we hit if off..it was comfortable for both of us because we already knew each other and caught up on "old times" I knew she still had feelings for her ex. a HUGE red flag I foolishly chose to ignore and she swore to me she would NEVER go back to him. I treated her so well and was in love with her and she told me the same...we dated right at a year. Well according to her he contacted her one night saying...love you and miss you. That was all she needed to hear so she dumped me for him...this is now their 2nd maybe 3rd time back together. This was 7 months ago and I'm over her...finally. I went strict No Contact then last month she contacts me several times with regrets and sorrys. =================================================== You paint her black in EVERY POST as shes the bad guy yet you knew you were a rebound and she had feelings for her ex. This is your fault, not hers. Your 43 years old and continue to lie to yourself FYI those that are over their ex dont continuously post about them in every thread. Its ok if you aren't but you lie to yourself all the time. How is someone suppose to trust you if you can't even trust yourself.
mike588 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 B&B! Welcome to this discussion!You always make me laugh & I appreciate all of your input so far on my crazy situations.I cheated because at the 5 month point in our relationship, I wasn't even sure that we were in a real exclusive relationship.I was new to dating since I had just got out of an 11 year abusive one.The guy I cheated with was my only friend throughout all of it.He encouraged me to finally get up & go & also watched out for me when I left.I was afraid my abusive ex would kill me or my family & he constantly watched out for me & encouraged me to be a better person. The night I cheated,I did it out of insecurity.I felt like since my new BF went out to hang with a friend & did not invite me that, I was lonely & needed male companionship.I know that is my problem.I feel so alone if I don't have a man around me.I didn't even realize how serious my new bf felt about me at the time because we never discussed any status (woman & their need for labels I guess)I realized how much of a mistake it was while having sex with the guy friend.Felt horrible about myself right away & realized how much.I love my BF.When he knew what I did,he wanted to dump me immediately.That was the first time we told each other that we loved each other.I wasn't even aware that he loved me.I felt it but,he never said it & it hit me like a ton of bricks.I couldn't believe what I had done & just denied it.Thinking I could get away with it & silently learn a lesson.Didn't happen-it was the biggest most hurtful lesson I had learned but it was too late. So...to sum it up,I cheated out of my own insecurities & unhappiness in being alone.I couldn't even bare 1 night to myself! I have grown from that & can hopefully learn to be happy alone.(well guess I gotta work on that still cause I just had rebound sex with another but, atleast I am single now so, as long as it was protected I guess it was another lesson learned)I won't be rebounding anymore.I need to fully heal & be happy with myself Sorry to hijack your thread. Learn from you mistakes and don't repeat them. You sound alot like my ex....her insecurities and unhappiness...yes work on them and learn from them and learn to be happy with yourself 1st! 1
geegirl Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 Alright, now I'm lost! Mike did you have sex with a friend & cheat on your girl? This has been a feud that's been going on with Wilson and Mike. Best to just focus on your situation rather than flying accusations that are just not warranted or helpful. It does not help make this forum be what it should be, which is to support and guide by contributing positive and uplifting advice to those in need. 1
mike588 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 Keep working on your issues, Mike's a punk for his post in this thread, he was the "Old Friend" that you cheated on your ex with. Get rid of those friends and find some real friends, in the end, your ex might come around, i did, only to find out shes off playing in the same lalala land that your ex is in now You eating crow is a good start in the right direction How am I a "punk" for my post????
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 (edited) B&B! Welcome to this discussion!You always make me laugh & I appreciate all of your input so far on my crazy situations.I cheated because at the 5 month point in our relationship, I wasn't even sure that we were in a real exclusive relationship.I was new to dating since I had just got out of an 11 year abusive one.The guy I cheated with was my only friend throughout all of it.He encouraged me to finally get up & go & also watched out for me when I left.I was afraid my abusive ex would kill me or my family & he constantly watched out for me & encouraged me to be a better person. The night I cheated,I did it out of insecurity.I felt like since my new BF went out to hang with a friend & did not invite me that, I was lonely & needed male companionship.I know that is my problem.I feel so alone if I don't have a man around me.I didn't even realize how serious my new bf felt about me at the time because we never discussed any status (woman & their need for labels I guess)I realized how much of a mistake it was while having sex with the guy friend.Felt horrible about myself right away & realized how much.I love my BF.When he knew what I did,he wanted to dump me immediately.That was the first time we told each other that we loved each other.I wasn't even aware that he loved me.I felt it but,he never said it & it hit me like a ton of bricks.I couldn't believe what I had done & just denied it.Thinking I could get away with it & silently learn a lesson.Didn't happen-it was the biggest most hurtful lesson I had learned but it was too late. So...to sum it up,I cheated out of my own insecurities & unhappiness in being alone.I couldn't even bare 1 night to myself! I have grown from that & can hopefully learn to be happy alone.(well guess I gotta work on that still cause I just had rebound sex with another but, atleast I am single now so, as long as it was protected I guess it was another lesson learned)I won't be rebounding anymore.I need to fully heal & be happy with myself You must love yourself before being in a relationship with someone. I wonder if you loved yourself when you got out of that abusive situation:( Also, communication is key and you learned that the hard way--you and your ex didn't have that 'where is this relationship going' discussion. And, if you kept the indiscretion from him, it would eat away at your conscience all the way around. You have to learn to value yourself. At least you know that the abusive situation wasn't normal. You need to take time to heal from this one and learn about yourself and know your importance. Being alone can be a good thing. You have peace and quiet, no one to nag you about curlers all over the sink and nylons in the shower;) No one to hog up all your Cocoa Pebbles cereal;) Remember, NC is very important or you will reopen the wound you are working so hard to heal. xoxoxoxoxxo:) Edited April 11, 2012 by BewitchedandBothered 1
mike588 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 (edited) Alright, now I'm lost! Mike did you have sex with a friend & cheat on your girl? I really don't want to make your thread "my thread" it's not fair to you. To answer your question though I reconnected with an "Old Friend' from long ago. She was fresh out of a relationship and still had feelings for her ex. yeah yeah I know a red flag I ignored but foolishly believed she would NEVER go back. She wasn't over her ex. and told me all the crap....I love you...your the best thing to ever come along in my life blah blah blah. One year later she dumps me for him.....then I'm accused of cheating on her....NEVER!!! It was MY fault that she went back to him because I cheated on her...again NEVER!!!!!! Then SHE contacts ME with sorrys and regrets!!! I have none other than ignoring red flags. Oh by the way Wilson I remember your PERSONAL apology to ME thru a PM. How your still fighting your own demons...and you were sorry.Remember???? End of discussion! Edited April 11, 2012 by mike588
Author dsw31 Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 Ok, thanks everyone for clearing that up. Also-thanks for EVERYBODIES replies & input! I actually went through this whole day feeling pretty good.It's been a great distraction & an excellent way to process everything.You guys are all so wonderful! If anyone else has anything to say,please feel free to keep this post going...
Recommended Posts