Girlfriend leaving back to china ..are we too young for serious commitment?

[Kouli]

Hi all, I'm kinda new here anyway I'd appreciate any advice you have for my situation .

Firstly Im from sydney and i'm almost 21 studying at uni. I met my current girlfriend at the sharehouse I lived in ..so we were/are flatmates, she is from china and is here on a one year exchange but has to go back at the beginning of july.( Btw we have been together 8 months).

Now I really love my girlfriend and I can honestly say that she is the only girl I have ever loved. I've been busting my balls thinking of ways to get over there so that we can continue our relationship and ended up changing my major to chinese and economics so I can have a career china related and a reason to go over and be with her..

The plan is currently im applying for exchange and will be doing that exhange this time next year( so we will be apart for 6-7 months) then i have to come back and complete the last semester in sydney and then go to china with her again for masters..we have also talked about getting married which ive been all for etc ..she wants to at 25 with me .

Now you have the basic background( bare with me ) The last month or so we have been arguing a bit like twice a week( i get this is normal after the initial stages of infatuation) ..but all of sudden find myself slightly afraid at the level of commitment...is 21 too young to be so committed??

I mean Sometimes id love to have casual sex and stuff..not that I act on it.\

So I guess my basic question is are we to committed too young? and although I think about having sex with random chicks.. my heart would be broken ( along with hers) if we broke up..so what are your ideas considering the future long distance thing..

[cerridwen]

Hi all, I'm kinda new here anyway I'd appreciate any advice you have for my situation .

Firstly Im from sydney and i'm almost 21 studying at uni. I met my current girlfriend at the sharehouse I lived in ..so we were/are flatmates, she is from china and is here on a one year exchange but has to go back at the beginning of july.( Btw we have been together 8 months).

Now I really love my girlfriend and I can honestly say that she is the only girl I have ever loved. I've been busting my balls thinking of ways to get over there so that we can continue our relationship and ended up changing my major to chinese and economics so I can have a career china related and a reason to go over and be with her..

The plan is currently im applying for exchange and will be doing that exhange this time next year( so we will be apart for 6-7 months) then i have to come back and complete the last semester in sydney and then go to china with her again for masters..we have also talked about getting married which ive been all for etc ..she wants to at 25 with me .

Now you have the basic background( bare with me ) The last month or so we have been arguing a bit like twice a week( i get this is normal after the initial stages of infatuation) ..but all of sudden find myself slightly afraid at the level of commitment...is 21 too young to be so committed??

I mean Sometimes id love to have casual sex and stuff..not that I act on it.\

So I guess my basic question is are we to committed too young? and although I think about having sex with random chicks.. my heart would be broken ( along with hers) if we broke up..so what are your ideas considering the future long distance thing..

 

Yes, to the bolded.

God, yes.

I wouldn't have even advised you to change majors if she was the primary reason for doing so.

 

At this stage, Kouli, it's best to have your own life plan.

GRRREAT if it coincides with what she's doing but at 21 years old, having your own path is vital.

May I suggest slowing things down to a turtle's crawl?

Maybe a 3-legged turtle's crawl.

 

Work through the tiffs you've been having, but take a little space to let the glow of infactuation dim until it's met with more reality.

It's blinded you and there can be a heavy price to pay for that, given you're making future life decisions by it.