goohoo Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 So.. everyone has their share of drama for the most part. Most of us either unintentionally cause it or get sucked into it somehow and we all know it. The real matter at hand is how we deal with it. Some of us choose to prolong it and do things (both intentionally and/or unintentionally) to drag it out, others tend to let the issue fizzle out and get on with their lives, not letting BS affect them or their relationships. In my opinion, an important part of getting to know someone (for me at least) is learning how they deal with things such as this, even petty issues. My question, as odd as it may sound, is that is there a question that can be asked, such as a scenario or something, that would give a clue as to how a person treats issues that arise. For example: A friend of yours does/says/screws "x". Would you either: a.) Whatever b.) Whatever c.) Whatever etc, etc.. This is a question that would essentially have to be masked in such a way that the person answering would really have no idea of its true motive. Something that would require a natural response, but would also reveal an inner part of their personality that might otherwise be missed or overlooked in the early stages of a relationship. It's a tall order, I know, and it probably has no answer, but c'mon people! Let's get creative and see what we can come up with! Any takers?
Anela Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I don't like drama, but have it going on right now anyway. I don't know how to respond to this...
dasein Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Someone at work makes an offcolor comment about your ass. Do you: a) tell them to f-off? b) tell them to f-off and then order a dog turd delivery to them from that place on the internet that delivers anonymous dog turds? c) tell them to f-off, then order a dog turd delivery to them from that place on the internet that delivers anonymous dog turds, and then go raise hell in HR? d) tell them to f-off, then order a dog turd delivery to them from that place on the internet that delivers anonymous dog turds, then go raise hell in HR, and call the cheeziest, most unethical plaintiff's lawyer you know? e) tell them to f-off, then order a dog turd delivery to them from that place on the internet that delivers anonymous dog turds, then go raise hell in HR, call the cheeziest, most unethical plaintiff's lawyer you know, and finally stage a NOW sensitivity/degradation event demonstration in front of your company with Andrea Dworkin, Rev Al, that giant blowup rat and some woman in a wheelchair who was so shocked by an asspat she fell down stairs and became a paraplegic?
Anela Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Are you asking me? or just posting this as an example? Depending on who it was, I might feel hurt, ignore it, say f-off, or insult them in kind, with a smile on my face. Or I might just say, "thank you" and smile. I'm dealing with a lot more than an off-colour comment. And I can't get away from it for long. I'm stuck with it for at least a month, if not more.
dasein Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Was answering OP's topic question, not trying to make light of your situation whatever it is. 1
Anela Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I wasn't offended, I was just curious. My life is absolutely bizarre at the moment. I'm feeling sort of fascinated, when I'm not hurt, which cuts down on feelings of revenge - although I'm not big on revenge, anyway.
dasein Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Well whatever it is hope you get it sorted out to your satisfaction.
thatone Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 So.. everyone has their share of drama for the most part. Most of us either unintentionally cause it or get sucked into it somehow and we all know it. The real matter at hand is how we deal with it. Some of us choose to prolong it and do things (both intentionally and/or unintentionally) to drag it out, others tend to let the issue fizzle out and get on with their lives, not letting BS affect them or their relationships. In my opinion, an important part of getting to know someone (for me at least) is learning how they deal with things such as this, even petty issues. My question, as odd as it may sound, is that is there a question that can be asked, such as a scenario or something, that would give a clue as to how a person treats issues that arise. For example: A friend of yours does/says/screws "x". Would you either: a.) Whatever b.) Whatever c.) Whatever etc, etc.. This is a question that would essentially have to be masked in such a way that the person answering would really have no idea of its true motive. Something that would require a natural response, but would also reveal an inner part of their personality that might otherwise be missed or overlooked in the early stages of a relationship. It's a tall order, I know, and it probably has no answer, but c'mon people! Let's get creative and see what we can come up with! Any takers? all of this is unnecessary. for the purposes of women, all you have to do is observe the type and nature of their female friends. if every time they get together one of them has a full blown catastrophe going on, they're all drama queens. absent drama from men they'll stir it amongst themselves. for the purposes of men, look at the exes on facebook or phone pics or whatever. slutty drunken girl with lots of tattoos, one or more that make nonsensical whiny facebook posts, etc. if there's more than one of these type of exes that's a pattern. no reason to stir a potential hornet's nest when you can figure out it is in fact a hornet's nest by simple observation.
prune juice Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I don't like drama, but have it going on right now anyway. I don't know how to respond to this... you can say you don't like drama. do your actions during a relationship match that?
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 As many people of LS, I cause major drama in relationships and it was a huge component in my last R demise. However, none of examples here would reveal it. This is because, I don't cause drama in ANY aspect of my life except romantic relationships. If someone told me I look fat at work, I would most likely look in the mirror and decide that perhaps wasn't the most flattering outfit. That's it. My friendships are long term and steady, I have never even had a fight with my best friend of 8 years. Ditto with my other friends. Both, my friends and family describe me as low drama person (because that's what I am like with them). BUT, when I start to romantically care for someone, suddenly there is so much more at stake. I risk having my heart broken and to prevent it, I over-analyze every little thing my bf at the time says and blow out/ fight/ over-react. I don't like drama for drama's sake and don't cause it intentionally. But I still cause it and am pretty much a nightmare to be in a relationship with. Just sayin'. Sometimes there is no way to know until the other person starts having feelings for you. 1
prune juice Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 As many people of LS, I cause major drama in relationships and it was a huge component in my last R demise. However, none of examples here would reveal it. This is because, I don't cause drama in ANY aspect of my life except romantic relationships. If someone told me I look fat at work, I would most likely look in the mirror and decide that perhaps wasn't the most flattering outfit. That's it. My friendships are long term and steady, I have never even had a fight with my best friend of 8 years. Ditto with my other friends. Both, my friends and family describe me as low drama person (because that's what I am like with them). BUT, when I start to romantically care for someone, suddenly there is so much more at stake. I risk having my heart broken and to prevent it, I over-analyze every little thing my bf at the time says and blow out/ fight/ over-react. I don't like drama for drama's sake and don't cause it intentionally. But I still cause it and am pretty much a nightmare to be in a relationship with. Just sayin'. Sometimes there is no way to know until the other person starts having feelings for you. i was with you until you said you don't cause it intentionally. i then stopped reading.
westrock Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 i was with you until you said you don't cause it intentionally. i then stopped reading. That's too bad you stopped reading, because in her very next words, ES takes responsibility for her actions by saing "But I still cause it". What I understood ES to be saying is that essentialy her actions are not a result of conscious choice on her part, but more as a result of a subconscious response to an emotional issue for her. Sometimes there is no way to know until the other person starts having feelings for you. This is probably true.
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 That's too bad you stopped reading, because in her very next words, ES takes responsibility for her actions by saing "But I still cause it". What I understood ES to be saying is that essentialy her actions are not a result of conscious choice on her part, but more as a result of a subconscious response to an emotional issue for her. This is probably true. Exactly westorock. It's not a "choice". It's also definetly not for the sake of excitment or that I feel bored without it. On the contrary, I enjoy peace about million times more. Drama just leaves me drained. It's an uncotrollable emotional reaction to I guess fear of someone breaking my heart. It's bizzare, because my reaction to that fear causes the fear itself to come true. I also suspect that this is pretty unique to me and other people causing drama in relationships have their own reasons. There ARE all around drama queens and they are much easier to spot.
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