starla33 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 It seems like guys are usually way more busy with their jobs and put work before anything else early on in their careers. What do you think?
wildtrac77 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 It seems like guys are usually way more busy with their jobs and put work before anything else early on in their careers. What do you think? Its the same with a lot of women, i had so much work on in my twentys i wasnt intrested in dating ( other than a few brief flings ) but had no end of women chasing me when i didnt have the time for them, fast forward mid 30s.. reorganized things so a lot more down time and can i find anyone decent and sorted to date.... No. either they are still hung up/scared to date from long ago reships or put all there energy into their work as an excuse to not face things from their past and deal with them and move on....
ascendotum Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Its the same with a lot of women, i had so much work on in my twentys i wasnt intrested in dating ( other than a few brief flings ) but had no end of women chasing me when i didnt have the time for them, fast forward mid 30s.. reorganized things so a lot more down time and can i find anyone decent and sorted to date.... No. either they are still hung up/scared to date from long ago reships or put all there energy into their work as an excuse to not face things from their past and deal with them and move on.... This is definitely a risk your 'career first' achievers need to be aware of. I know a few people who lament not giving higher priority to finding a great wife/husband when they were younger and sexy fun loving baggage free prospects were much more plentiful. There is the possibilty that if you achieve great career success in your 30s that this will boost your attraction to more highly sort after partners (applies to men more so) when you are older, but still for a few guys I've known they just couldn't catch up and have a swag of STRs with happy go lucky girls aged 17-27, or find another girl as good as the one/s they didn't give priority to back when they were younger, and regretted it. Things are probably a bit better for Gen Y than it was for Gen X in terms of people not looking to settle down till they're are older, but great catches dont abound the longer you leave it for. You need to find a balance and a partner who undestands the demands of your career. I am not aware of a stack of desirable men or women in their 20s though who are sexless for yrs because they are focusing on their career + studies....from what I see of a few I know it just results in more STRs, ONS and FWBs.
EasyHeart Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 It's competitive out there, and a lot of people want to make something of themselves before they settle down. And men especially, whether it's real or perceived, have significant pressure to put themselves in the position of 'breadwinner'. I spent my 20s and early 30s in school and/or working ridiculous hours. I always dated during that time, but I made it very clear to my girlfriends that I had no interest in settling down or getting married yet. All of them said they were fine with that, but in retrospect I think some (most?) thought they could change my mind and ended up disappointed that we didn't live happily ever after. But I feel no guilt about that because I was totally upfront and honest about where I was in life and what I wanted. It's not my problem if they chose not to listen.
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 It seems like guys are usually way more busy with their jobs and put work before anything else early on in their careers. What do you think? I used to be one of those types who worried constantly about being able to find someone to date (even just one date) and put career on the back burner. I think about all the time I wasted and it sucks. So now, I am way more busy with a) my career and b) my training. I'm not going to bother with dating or women until I start making some really good money and I get towards my goal of having a John Cena type body. I figure that's 5-10 years. I think some "career-first" types might just be guys like me who put relationships first, nothing happened and they wised up.
zengirl Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Depends on what you mean. My career always came first until I knew hubby and I were getting married, as did his. Your career stays with you and is within your control, so I think it's often a more attractive place to put energy. I think many people who put energy there will put it elsewhere if they meet someone they want to marry (then or eventually) or really go crazy for. Some people use work to be emotionally unavailable, some just need to feel "set up" with work before they're comfortable prioritizing other things, and some people focus on work because they're unhappy with their dating life. I think women also do this nowadays, not just men. Too busy to date is very different to me, though, than saying, "My career comes first." Until my husband was going to be my husband, he was never prioritized before my career, and I made that clear. Now, he's above my career, as all my family is, but a mere (potentially passing) relationship never should be, IMO. It takes time to become a priority in someone's life.
ascendotum Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 So now, I am way more busy with a) my career and b) my training. I'm not going to bother with dating or women until I start making some really good money and I get towards my goal of having a John Cena type body. I figure that's 5-10 years. Don't do this 49322. 10 yrs puts you in mid 30s I think. If you're a snr mgr and look like J Cena then, you'll be a hit with women in their 30s looking to land a husband, but don't let the prime yrs of your life roll by. You can still afford some time off on Fri + Sat nights to try score some young boozi floozies, or even go on a date here + there. I realise you don't have a stellar love life, but don't earmark such a long period of time for 'no women'.....there's plenty of time to read books at night when you are in your 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s.
Fondue Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I am absolutely much more focused on work than women. I'm not even 25 yet, I just finished my first year in my career field, made out like a bandit, and going out today to look for homes to buy in NYC. I am more than willing to commit a few more years of the same, putting in some over time, to make a nice paycheck instead of dating. I am sure I wouldn't be able to commit to a woman and work the same way if I was to choose to do that. This is why I'm just sticking to casual friendships that may or may not lead to an occasional sex-type session . http://www.josephducreux.com/disregard-females-acquire-currency.jpg I took this lifestyle to heart, and it has really made a positive impact on my life. You have no idea how it is to be single, free spirited, well payed, young professional. I would definitely recommend to anyone and everyone. 1
Avarage Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 men especially, whether it's real or perceived, have significant pressure to put themselves in the position of 'breadwinner'. This is definitely true. As a man I feel some of my dating worth comes from what job I work. Not to mention the fact that if I want a top quality woman to be interested in me I've got to be the type of man she'd want. This is probably also a driving force behind the whole work first attitude. At least for myself I know that's the reason I haven't focused on dating for a long time.
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Don't do this 49322. 10 yrs puts you in mid 30s I think. If you're a snr mgr and look like J Cena then, you'll be a hit with women in their 30s looking to land a husband, but don't let the prime yrs of your life roll by. You can still afford some time off on Fri + Sat nights to try score some young boozi floozies, or even go on a date here + there. I realise you don't have a stellar love life, but don't earmark such a long period of time for 'no women'.....there's plenty of time to read books at night when you are in your 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s. Eh, I've come to realize that my prime years are going to roll by no matter what I do. So, I can either spend them fretting about my lack of female companionship or, I can spend them trying to do something with my life that's worth doing. And to be honest if I get to be 30 or 35 rolling in dough and looking like John Cena, I'll probably still avoid women, out of spite though. Like "nah nah nah" I'm so great and you'll never have me . Depends on what you mean. My career always came first until I knew hubby and I were getting married, as did his. Your career stays with you and is within your control, so I think it's often a more attractive place to put energy. I think many people who put energy there will put it elsewhere if they meet someone they want to marry (then or eventually) or really go crazy for. Some people use work to be emotionally unavailable, some just need to feel "set up" with work before they're comfortable prioritizing other things, and some people focus on work because they're unhappy with their dating life. I think women also do this nowadays, not just men. Definitely. I can't control how women feel about me. I can very much control how much I work or how much I work out. If I spend two hours at the gym or two hours doing interviews for a documentary or an article I can see results. Two hours at a bar, or on a dating site? You're better off watching boiling water.
FitChick Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 It seems like guys are usually way more busy with their jobs and put work before anything else early on in their careers. They should, especially if they aren't married.
FitChick Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 http://www.josephducreux.com/disregard-females-acquire-currency.jpg You have no idea how it is to be single, free spirited, well payed, young professional. I would definitely recommend to anyone and everyone. (Pssst, I think you mean "paid.") And I would dump the currency and buy gold and other hard assets.
dasein Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 (Pssst, I think you mean "paid.") And I would dump the currency and buy gold and other hard assets. Did he clearly say he was buying an apt or did I imagine it? neener neener
prune juice Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 It seems like guys are usually way more busy with their jobs and put work before anything else early on in their careers. What do you think? some guys can't find a girl, get fed up, and put all their effort into work for years or even decades. i got fed up with the games girls play, but i can't go years without sex so now i just go for the sex.
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