wwwjd Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Early on, I decided the "Comfort Zone" everyone eventually narrows life down to is really just a rut keeping them away from enjoying a wider range of things in life. Sooooo, I promised myself to embrace all sorts of things all at the same time. Examples: I enjoy Classical Music AND Trance, Fine Dining AND McDonalds, chick flicks AND action movies, sailing AND motorcycle racing, Musicals AND Rock Concerts, and usually all the levels in between. MOST GALS (not ALL) I seem to meet only enjoy EITHER / OR of these things. Someone who loves going to rock concerts HATES Opera, and one that enjoys Le'Opera can't handle rock concerts. I know people like to tell them selves they are really out there but when push to shove, they pick a FAVORITE and like sticking in a zone they are comfortable with. Nothing wrong with that, really, but where does that leave me? I feel life is SO MUCH MORE enjoyable ebracing lots of stuff rather than narrowing things down into a comfort rutt... er... zone. Why don't people accept larger ranges of diversity in life? How can they not see what they are missing out on? Related: this affects dating, yes and I'm over 30, and plan to stay this way until death 1
Author wwwjd Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 ....eh? did I miss something deep there? OH you mean Iowa women are more narrow? maybe that's true, but comfort zone creeps into everyone it seems
Author wwwjd Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 I have not just met girls in Iowa. Comfort Zone is a global human thang. Everyone goes for comfort zones. Any other feedback?
ThaWholigan Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I get this. I'm seen as wishy washy because all my interests contradict each other. I go to bashment/dancehall raves and rap shows, even rapped at a few of them myself, but then I've also been to dubstep raves and indie/rock gigs where people are popping pills and doing lines and **** like that. Most people I know either do one or the other and seem to think I'm weird for being comfortable in both environments. I have so many interests that clash, that finding someone who is as open as I am is virtually impossible, so I just need to find someone who is OK with that I am so open. Broad depth could actually be a gift, but yes, it can be a curse.
zengirl Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Sure, we like to label and box people up. Sure, it's worse in lower population areas (like Iowa) or areas with a more homogeneous population. Sure, many people don't fit in boxes, but they may appear to be in one anyway. I really don't dig people who like "everything" (liking everything is the same as liking nothing, honestly, personality-wise) but most people I know don't have a narrow range of interests either. They may appear to at first glance, however, when you're just examining the lid of their box.
sid3 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I'd say broad range is a benefit, not a handicap. People often get too comfortable in their comfort zone. Suddenly they find themselves extremely selective. They end up missing out on meeting or dating a lot of great people because of that.
zengirl Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I forgot to add that having a broad depth is not a handicap unless you expect to meet your twin who likes everything you like all the time. Couples don't have to share all their interests -- liking 1/2 of what you like is more than sufficient. 2
Emilia Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I forgot to add that having a broad depth is not a handicap unless you expect to meet your twin who likes everything you like all the time. Couples don't have to share all their interests -- liking 1/2 of what you like is more than sufficient. This is the trick. I have a wide variety of interests but I have resigned myself to the fact that I'm not likely to meet anyone else like that for an LTR. The difficulty is selecting what I am prepared to give up
Feelin Frisky Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 That's because you live in Iowa. Hahahaha. Do they have ballet in Iowa? much less males who want to avail themselves of it?
Pierre Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Early on, I decided the "Comfort Zone" everyone eventually narrows life down to is really just a rut keeping them away from enjoying a wider range of things in life. Sooooo, I promised myself to embrace all sorts of things all at the same time. Examples: I enjoy Classical Music AND Trance, Fine Dining AND McDonalds, chick flicks AND action movies, sailing AND motorcycle racing, Musicals AND Rock Concerts, and usually all the levels in between. MOST GALS (not ALL) I seem to meet only enjoy EITHER / OR of these things. Someone who loves going to rock concerts HATES Opera, and one that enjoys Le'Opera can't handle rock concerts. I know people like to tell them selves they are really out there but when push to shove, they pick a FAVORITE and like sticking in a zone they are comfortable with. Nothing wrong with that, really, but where does that leave me? I feel life is SO MUCH MORE enjoyable ebracing lots of stuff rather than narrowing things down into a comfort rutt... er... zone. Why don't people accept larger ranges of diversity in life? How can they not see what they are missing out on? Related: this affects dating, yes and I'm over 30, and plan to stay this way until death Sometimes, after couples have been together for a long time they acquire the taste of the other and before long they enjoy the same things. However, you need a long steady relationship for that to happen.
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I've noticed this too. People who like working out and going on hikes and stuff don't like visiting museums, or people who like watching sports don't like trying different ethnic restaurants, or traveling, etc. So people like me with a whole lot of different interests aren't looked at very favorably.
Author wwwjd Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 Thanks for the validation here, gang! While I don't do exteme hypocritical stuff like go to church then snort coke, I'll do as much as I can that is legal and moral.... which is a lot if you step back and look around. I just have trouble finding someone willing to keep up. This one girl got tired of going out to eat at nice restraunts!! Tired? There is nothing to tire from: you go, eat and enjoy, come home. That's way less work than cooking in. But that is fun other times. And I don't want to just go out to eat durring the honeymoon dating phase.... that's how I continue to live: to enjoy, and KEEP impressing her until I die. Is that so wrong? ooH! Thought of another mix: enjoying a book at the library, and skydiving. This is the trick. I have a wide variety of interests but I have resigned myself to the fact that I'm not likely to meet anyone else like that for an LTR. The difficulty is selecting what I am prepared to give up Don't give up ANYTHING that you like, but compromise for time where needed. And never give up hope! *WE* are out here.
Author wwwjd Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 Hahahaha. Do they have ballet in Iowa? much less males who want to avail themselves of it? not the Ballet... the Ballerina (per my other post)
dasein Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 While I don't do exteme hypocritical stuff like go to church then snort coke, You should snort the coke first... -then- go to church, much better. Google Meister Eckhart, not that he was doing blow mind you, just similar sentiment. Enjoyed the OP on eclectic tastes and agree. I also find people rut prone, and as someone who is not, can wear certain types right out.
Author wwwjd Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 forgot the other downside to this: I actually don't expect it in others. If I am dating a quiet librarian type, I don't expect her to skydive. Maybe I just like her as she is. But SHE might come back with, "You are too much for me and we don't fit well" even though I'm fine dialing it back to normal as needed. Don't have to have someone that can KEEP UP, as much as PUT UP with it. Are there Monasteries in Iowa???
thatone Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 (edited) This is the trick. I have a wide variety of interests but I have resigned myself to the fact that I'm not likely to meet anyone else like that for an LTR. The difficulty is selecting what I am prepared to give up i was the same way, but have had a couple of relationships in my 30s with women that while not being as well versed in a multitude of interests, were eager to learn and attracted to knowledge in general. so there's potential with those, in my opinion. then again i'm a man and that may just fall in with female propensity to want to be submissive. the first one eventually got scared of leaving that comfort zone of the town she grew up in and pushed away until we broke up. the next one....we'll see, i've been with her a few months now. i think the catch with such people is being able to look at their past and note some sort of major change that they've managed to accomplish. whether that change is breaking the habits of bad parents, or moving away alone, or changing careers as an adult, whatever, SOMETHING to point to that says "this person can change their lifestyle if they want to, because they've done it before". whether they want to change/learn/grow/try new things/etc is another matter. this of course would just demonstrate the ability to do so, since some people really just can't. good topic, i have a lot of theories on this . agree with the point for you wwwjd of "it's iowa". in your case it's really that simple, imo. move to a bigger city. twin cities, chicago, st louis, none of them are that far away. think about it rationally, anyone who wanted bigger and better than iowa has probably left already. so go with them. Edited April 10, 2012 by thatone
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