Wibbly Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Hey guys, About a week and a half ago, the 10-year relationship I was in came to a sudden halt. We had been together since high school and had been living with each other for about 6-years. In hindsight, things hadn't felt the same for a while and the possibility of a break-up had crossed my mind, but then when she pulled the trigger it didn't seem to matter. It was crushing. It seemed like it was too easy for her, but now that I've had a little over a week to think about it, I don't think it was easy for her at all. I think we both had our fingers on the trigger and she was the one brave enough to pull it. There were no hard feelings. No anger and nobody to blame. It's a classic case of people getting together when they were young and simply growing apart over time. Interests change, I guess, and we are both in different parts of our lives maybe looking for different things. I don't know how many people have asked me if "there someone else?" It is possible to have a breakup where nobody does anything wrong and nobody is sneaking around. We both talked about that and after almost 10-years I like to think we have the trust in each other that we wouldn't have done anything along those lines. Anyway, the whole thing still feels so strange. I haven't been alone since I was 17-years old and I find myself living back at home in the basement apartment. This is a whole new world to me right now. I think I'm going to learn a lot about myself in the coming year(s). I was going to post a lot closer to the breakup, but that would have been a far more emotional post than this one. I found just reading other people's threads helped me a lot. I'm trying to keep a level head during all of this and I really can see some positives. I think you could say we still loved each other but we were no longer "in love". The thought of being friends with her is still in my mind, but I have to be fair to myself and her, because I know it won't be fun to see her with another person. Anyway, thanks to anyone who read this and cheers to another chapter in life, even if it came sooner than I may have expected.
fucpcg Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 There were no hard feelings. No anger and nobody to blame. It's a classic case of people getting together when they were young and simply growing apart over time. Interests change, I guess, and we are both in different parts of our lives maybe looking for different things. Amen, and good for you to for acting like mature adults. No need for blame and hostility. And making a relationship last forever, when you start at a point as young as you two were, is a rare event. As you are aware yourself, people do change over the years, and never as drastically as from teen's to 30ish. Your life will go on, and maybe you will find your way back each other again, or maybe you find new loves. My first love, we were together about 5 years, we went on to new separate lives and loves, and now almost 20 years later we are great friends who would be possibly dating if not living 1,000 miles apart. It may not be over for you two, or maybe it is, but both of your are young and will do well with your futures.
perryb13 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Good for you guys for being civil about it! It's so hard sometimes when there are feelings bouncing around everywhere. I do feel for you though, man, 10 years is a really long time. A positive outlook and supportive friends are so helpful. If you're lucky enough to have them still, your parents can be great help as well. I mean at 21, I've never talked to my parents about anything personal until my most recent breakup ended with a potentially destroyed friendship from a fight. They're just been great about picking me up when I was down.
Author Wibbly Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 Thanks for the responses guys! I'm glad it was a "good" breakup. While it can lead to confusion as to why the breakup even happened then, it definitely makes it easier in the long run. As for parents and family, I know what you mean. My dad hasn't seen me emotional since I was a little kid so I wasn't sure how he would take it when I broke the news and got all choked up, but he was totally supportive. Same with my mom and my two sisters have been a great help. Friends have been there as well and it really does make for an overall great support system.
perryb13 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Thanks for the responses guys! I'm glad it was a "good" breakup. While it can lead to confusion as to why the breakup even happened then, it definitely makes it easier in the long run. As for parents and family, I know what you mean. My dad hasn't seen me emotional since I was a little kid so I wasn't sure how he would take it when I broke the news and got all choked up, but he was totally supportive. Same with my mom and my two sisters have been a great help. Friends have been there as well and it really does make for an overall great support system. Absolutely. The worst part of about breakups is that a lot of the time, they're bound to happen...and the only thing that can heal the damage is time.
Mr Scorpio Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 It sounds like the time you've spent since the breakup was put to good use. You seem to have a very mature attitude about what you're facing right now. It really is like night-to-day when you suffer that first heartbreak. Now you know what all those songs/movies/books were talking about. And who knows? Given the amicable way you've seperated, you may very well be able to carry-on as friends and still have a positive impact on each other's lives.
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