jus d'orange Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Hi everyone, It's been a few weeks since I last was here. I've transitioned pretty well to life after the relationship. If you want, you can read my first threads. This place was really important in me getting back on track to living a happier and more fulfilled life. Everything's going really well and I'm happier now than I was during the relationship. I still miss her from time to time, but I really just miss who she was to me. I thought there was something developing between me and a new girl a couple months after the break up, but I got the old friend zone talk last week after we'd hung out. I still see her most every day, but it's not a big deal-- it's nice to know I can handle a bit of rejection/disappointment and still be feeling good about everything! Anyway, my ex (who lives 6 hours away) has my guitar. I bought her another one a couple weeks before the breakup as a birthday gift, but she still has mine. I haven't played in a long long time, but recently I've actually wanted to pick it back up (I'm a musician, but haven't spent time with the guitar since my early teens.) I've been strict NC since day 0, and I don't really want to get in touch with her at all; if anything, I MIGHT respond if she contacted me. But I do want my guitar back-- I'd let her have it kinda on the assumption that we'd be living together in the near future. It certainly wasn't a gift. How do I handle this?
Mr Scorpio Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Six hours away? Ouch. There is no way I can see you getting it without having contact with her, and plenty of it at that. Unless you make the six-hour trip, she would have to agree to ship it to you. That will require you paying a substantial monetary price and sucking up your pride to politely ask her if she is willing to help you out.
Author jus d'orange Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 I would be surprised if she was uncooperative in response to me asking. I think if I sent her anything, I'd want to make it clear that I wish her well but otherwise don't want her back in my life in any way other than communicating to get my stuff back. I'd also tell her that I'm doing really well and that if she ever really does needs to speak, she knows how to get in touch. Would that do it? Has anyone else been in a similar situation.
Rorschach64 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Just send her one message that you want your stuff back, the end. There is no need to tell her all that extra stuff. I am sure she knows how to reach you if she really wants to talk. I'm going out on a limb here, since I used getting my laptop back to stay in touch with my ex f which I never got back, that you are doing this to just talk to her and see if there might be anything looming. Keep it simple and to the point if this is really about your guitar.
Exit Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Simple, treat yourself to a nice new shiny guitar, you deserve it, and it'll be much less of a hassle. Unless of course you're in denial and you really wanted a reason to contact your ex. 1
Author jus d'orange Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 Nah-- believe me, I question myself on things like this. I really don't want any kind of dialogue with her. Not about hate or resentment, just about what's best for both of us. And it's a nice idea about a new guitar. However, the gift guitar I bought her 3 months ago right before we broke up dented my bank account enough... Even more reason why I just want mine, cuz I got her one! If she'd just still had mine, I just woulda told her to keep it. And I'm not sure if I'd say anything else. Even though we're leading separate lives, I don't want to be totally cold and rude. Just respectful.
Author jus d'orange Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 Just sent her an e-mail today. Told her I hoped all was well, and the rest was strictly like a professional email. I think I made it pretty clear that I don't have anything to say to her; I just want my guitar back. I guess it's up to her if she responds or not, although I think it would be out of character for her to keep my guitar forever.
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