yammyr6 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Okay so I am going to try and keep this short. I've been with my gf for a little over a year. She's 21 and I'm 25. We are currently on a break because the other night I caught my gf at the club grinding on some guy. The guy was against the wall, and she was grinding on him. That night I had gone out with my friends, but since the event ended early I decided to surprise my gf at the lounge that she was at. I've always told my gf that I DO NOT care if she goes out and parties with her friends. If she wants to dance with a guy I told her I didn't care as long as she kept it classy. At the beginning of our relationship I set these boundaries, and she agreed and set the same for me. She goes out to a lounge every so often with her gfs, but says, "I don't dance with guys because you are the only guy I want to dance with." Yet, a couple of days ago I see her grinding on some guys crouch. Next day I confront her about it. The first thing that she says is that he was a friend and nothing was going to come from it. I told her BS because that was the second time that she's hung out with him, how the hell is he a friend? She later tells me that there was a second guy she was dancing with like that (I had to practically pry this information out of her). I asked her, "If I didn't catch you would you honestly have told me that you were dancing like that?" She told me, "no, because I know you trust me and that you rarely ask who I dance with...." I told her I can not be with a girl that lies, and that I would need a break. Truth is, shes lied to me before. First time I knew she was having a rough day so I wanted to pop up at her apartment and surprise her with a hug. I called her multiple times and she did not answer. When she finally picked up she said sorry, she was in the shower and that she was getting ready for bed. I asked her if she was home, and she said yes. I told her to come downstairs and give me a hug to make her feel better. She paused....then told me she was out with friends.... When I told her we should take a break and that I wanted NC to think about things, she cried hysterically. She told me that she knows I am great guy, and doesn't understand why she F***ed up so bad. But she promised that she would NEVER go out with those people again, and that she feels very bad for disrespecting me. She mentioned that if I was grinding on a girl, she would be very upset as well. She told me no matter what she will try and work this out, she just doesn't want to lose me. She told me that if a break is what was needed to get "us" back then that is fine. I really like this girl, and I am so upset that she would do this. I would never disrespect her like that. I want to be with her, but I am afraid I may not be able to forgive her, especially when she tells me, "I was not going to tell you because I know you trust me enough to not ask." That one line makes me not want to be with her. She knew she was disrespecting, but just wanted to have "fun" because she thought I wouldn't find out. Any advice would be very much appreciated!
Author yammyr6 Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 Call her right now and dump her. Wow lol straight to the point. Can you please explain why you're saying this?
EgoJoe Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 She lied to you and is probably cheating on you. Don't get used, don't be a tool, forget her and move on.
Phanpooh Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Let me tell u, 5m ago, my angle told me she went out with 'just a friend' for a couple beer, now she sleep on his bed everyday. At that night, she just cried on his shoulders. 4m ago, she told the world, how amazing to be free with her love. Im done with angles! So my classic advise for u, NC and let see how important u r for her. Relationship is like a fart. If u have to force it, it's probably shi t. 1
Author yammyr6 Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 Let me tell u, 5m ago, my angle told me she went out with 'just a friend' for a couple beer, now she sleep on his bed everyday. At that night, she just cried on his shoulders. 4m ago, she told the world, how amazing to be free with her love. Im done with angles! So my classic advise for u, NC and let see how important u r for her. Relationship is like a fart. If u have to force it, it's probably shi t. Exactly why I wanted to choose this route... Time will tell...in this time however, I am going to focus on my business and school. She told me that she would use this time to better herself. We will see what awaits in a few weeks (If I am even attracted to her anymore, or vice versa). By the way I love the analogy!
EgoJoe Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Read my threads that I posted as I joined. I speak from experience. You're allowed your own mistakes but if you want to be wise. Learn from the mistakes of others. Best of lucky buddy. I know it sucks and hurts.
Author yammyr6 Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 ==> UPDATE <== So I have decided to give my gf another chance. Since we have been on break she has decided to go seek professional help, and is putting in the effort to making things right (today was her second day of seeking professional help). She came out and told me the truth about why she did what she did, and why she had planned on not telling me. It DOES NOT make it right, but the sheer fact that she's willing to try and work on herself and not just trying to promise me that she won't do it again, is worth me at least seeing what she's about a bit more. We both agreed to take the relationship slow, and to work on our communication together. I want to see where this goes, and she does as well. Thanks everyone for your comments!
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 ==> UPDATE <== So I have decided to give my gf another chance. Since we have been on break she has decided to go seek professional help, and is putting in the effort to making things right (today was her second day of seeking professional help). She came out and told me the truth about why she did what she did, and why she had planned on not telling me. It DOES NOT make it right, but the sheer fact that she's willing to try and work on herself and not just trying to promise me that she won't do it again, is worth me at least seeing what she's about a bit more. We both agreed to take the relationship slow, and to work on our communication together. I want to see where this goes, and she does as well. Thanks everyone for your comments! If someone lied to me the way your partner has lied to you, if they told me what day it was, I would run to the calendar and check anyway. Good luck; not sure what you are trying to hold onto exactly, but...good luck.
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