loveydove Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 My Ex and I live far apart. He came home for the weekend and asked to see me twice. The first time went well, I didn't feel emotional and almost felt like I was getting over him, he seemed so nervous and I thought this is great, he's starting to regret breaking up with me, and I'm feeling ok! Then we saw eachother the next night and it was a static, tough conversation about the breakup. We had never spoken of it face to face because we broke up on the phone which is partly why I agreed to see him. He looked visibly upset when he asked me if I was seeing anyone. I spent the rest of the conversation afraid to say anything because I didn't want to make the situation worse and push him away. He hugged me alot and said he just knew we would see eachother again and I said I felt like he was trying to keep me in a place so I wouldn't move on. and he said he didn't want to do that to me, and I should move on. I'm so confused?? and upset all over again...and angry. I know he loves me. We talked all night about how weird its been not being together and how much we hate the situation. But it's like his career has taken over his mind, and I never thought he would tell me to move on. I'm heartbroken. I don't know what to do. Please help.
Author loveydove Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 He also said that he loves me, but doesnt know if he is "supposed" to end up with me anymore????? He knew for years, I don't understand why it changed, what I can do, or if he will ever come around. Do any guys have any insight into this situation?
Mr Scorpio Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I'm afraid I would need a lot more info to provide insight my dear. Who initiated the breakup? What caused the breakup? How long ago was the breakup? What is his career? Etc.. etc.. etc.. Regardless, heartbreak is heartbreak. You need to keep yourself busy and be kind to yourself. Utilize all the normal remedies: talk to friends/family/strangers on this site, listen to music, read books, exercise, go for a walk, volunteer, learn a new recipe, exercise, rekindle old relationships, be kind to a stranger, develop a new hobby, and keep posting. 1
coltsfan1 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 He can not and will not miss you if you are always there. You are young and have lots of good times in your future. Be patient go NC and see where it leads you.
Author loveydove Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 He can not and will not miss you if you are always there. You are young and have lots of good times in your future. Be patient go NC and see where it leads you. I'm afraid I would need a lot more info to provide insight my dear. Who initiated the breakup? What caused the breakup? How long ago was the breakup? What is his career? Etc.. etc.. etc.. Regardless, heartbreak is heartbreak. You need to keep yourself busy and be kind to yourself. Utilize all the normal remedies: talk to friends/family/strangers on this site, listen to music, read books, exercise, go for a walk, volunteer, learn a new recipe, exercise, rekindle old relationships, be kind to a stranger, develop a new hobby, and keep posting. He initiated the break up...a year and a half ago he moved to LA for his acting career, and said he just had a gut feeling things would work out with us one way or another. It was really hard on us, and we fought alot at first, but eventually got to a great place. It wasn't long after that happened that he finally got his own place in Cali (he had been staying on someones couch) and he started partying alot and making lots of new kind of empty headed guy friends. The town he moved to is a huuuge party town. He stopped being as thoughtful as he had been the previous 5 years..and one day admitted he went to a friend's wedding and was jealous of him and said he wished he knew for sure that we were supposed to end up together. This was a shock to me, because we fought for years and years through long distance so that we could end up together. We always talked about kids and marriage, always. Throughout the next few months, he showed alot of signs of GIGS, including pushing me away to the point where I tried to break things off, but he never let me. His acting career took of right after Christmas, and he broke things off. We spoke once on the phone a few weeks after and he said if he never moved, he thinks we maybe could have been in a great place. He admitted he still loved me, and that decisions he made for his career led him here. It was a very mature conversation and he sounded sad. I thought for sure things would come around. This weekend he asked to see me. and thats when he was nervous, and then I saw him again and it was awful. And i texted him and asked if he wants me to move on completely, and he said its hard to say, but yes. Because he doesn't know we are supposed to end up together, and I deserve someone who knows. I don't fall in love easily, and I am very observant. This man loved me very deeply for a very long time. It just doesn't make sense to me. And I feel so broken.
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