Do you have to play hard to get to keep a guy?

[littlepeanut07]

I have to say, Clia's response to this question really opened up my eyes! Thank you!!

This is why:

I am a divorced mother of two, cheated on by my husband. Unfortunately too soon after my husband left I got into a relationship with a wonderful guy who i am still friends with. Unfortunately this guy had some performance issues due to an illness so needless to say it was a pretty sexless rebound, which left me feeling very unwanted and unattractive, especially after being cheated on by my husband. That being said, luckily my rebound guy and i formed a very strong friendship/love based on emotion and communication, and remain friends. We broke up last Feb for obvious reasons and i decided to stay single and work on myself. I have dated here and there, but had no real interest in anyone. Around New Years i decided it was time to come out of my shell and date...went on match.com, interviewed a few guys, had a good selection i must say...and decided on this one guy who was very funny, attractive, seemed easy going and was very interested in me. Needless to say, it took a while for him to get me to call and then eventually say yes to a date, i was apprehensive thinking that i could actually like this guy and was i ready, but i went for it. He was persistent but patient at the same time, good combination. We met for drinks and an appetizer first date, was nice, we kissed and then i went home, second date we had lunch, third date we went to dinner and then out to a bar to hear a band and play pool...had a great night things got heated up and we had sex. I felt very insecure the next day, mind you i hadn't had sex in a very long time, i don't sleep around and here i have slept with this man. I instantly became panicked and feel i put my insecurities on him. We both have kids so we were busy most of the weekend and talked on and off, but of course i felt he was "different" (was that in my mind, not sure). Saw him the following Monday for dinner and drinks and again, had sex...yes, there is a lot of chemistry. Haven't seen him since and i feel like i have made all the attempts and efforts to talk to him and see him. He was so persistent in the beginning before dating, very attentive and wanting to get to know me, now...its like he has backed off. I was wondering if i had to backtrack and play hard to get or if he was playing hard to get, and feel i am really too old to be playing games, but the guy really is cool, makes me laugh and we have great sex so I was hoping i didn't blow it by getting too clingy and needy. I can't say i have been overly agressive, but definately the one making all the efforts. I am open to anyone's advice or questions, suggestions...whatever. But when Clia made reference to that one woman not giving the guy enough time or chance to call her and make plans with her, i thought that is probably what i have done, trying to control the situation. What do u think?? anyone??