wildtrac77 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 (edited) Hiya, Meet a girl online, swapped nums then arranged a date, meet up on sat night for a beer, got on really well so then went to her local for a couple of pints, meet some of her friends and got on really well with them, the date was really relaxed, ( sat in the pub with my arm around her etc etc, ) her best mate told me when my date went outside that she could tell from the way she was acting she really liked me ).. Later on was sat chatting to my date and she ended up asking me out again the next night( which i said yea poss should be okay if i fhinsh work on sun in time ) anyway date ended went back to hers for a coffee, didnt sleep together but kissed etc then i went home ) all really relaxed and chilled with defo chemistry and she did let on that the talking to me was a lot easier than she thought it would be.. Next morn had a txt thanking me for a great night etc, i replied same thing then asked her what she was upto in the day etc, few txts went back and forth then i had to work so she said no worrys will let you know when im free later for that drink.. got a txt about six ish saying : sorry iv gotta take a rain check on tonight and hope your day was good.. Now should i take that as a brush off and walk or txt again in a few days?? ( should add she had a really rough time a couple of years ago with her ex and she is really scared of getting hurt again ( her best mate told me this and she then told me herself when we were having a coffee ) and that she wants to take things slow with a new guy but i kinda thing she got a bit too keen on sat night suggesting another date so soon ( which i kinda thing was a tad too keen anyway.. ) Iv been on a lot of dates in my time and a lot have been a waste of time but defo a connection on this one.. How do i play things out thou?? Thanks Edited April 9, 2012 by wildtrac77 Missing words
veggirl Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Wait a few days and then contact her. A raincheck once is fine. Plus, if I'm reading correctly this was going to be your 3rd date in 3 days? That's too much too soon, it's best to take it a tad slower. Let things simmer for a couple days, then set up another date. 1
Author wildtrac77 Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Wait a few days and then contact her. A raincheck once is fine. Plus, if I'm reading correctly this was going to be your 3rd date in 3 days? That's too much too soon, it's best to take it a tad slower. Let things simmer for a couple days, then set up another date. 2nd date in two days ( sat eve/sun eve ) which your right is way too much too soon, ( why i was a bit hesitant to agree to the sun one on sat night ) Normally txts have been going two and thro each day between us before the date on sat but iv not txt her today or vice versa, i just replied on sun; no worrys about the rain check for this eve if your busy and left it at that.. Normally i would walk but we got on so well and defo a chemistry between us, in the pub when she went outside for a smoke etc her mates made it pretty clear they approved of me and she said herself that if iv cracked them then im onto a winner with her..( which she knew i had..) Kinda dont want to rush it and push her away but at the same time i need to know the score, im happy to take things slow with her and have one date a week for example, not really intrested in looking elsewhere as what im looking for in someone i can see in her!! ( but in the past when iv gone on a date and they dont want to see me again they have made it pretty clear in a txt after the date... ) .. How many days do you reckon i should leave it b4 i txt?? ( dont want to sound too keen but not leave it too long either ) If you said :i gotta take a rain check on tonights date to a guy what would you be thinking??
dasein Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Agree with veggirl, sounds normal. Call and ask out again in a couple days. One thing though, why do you know about the ex drama at this point? Consider avoiding drama laden topics and angsty stuff for now and just have fun and flirt. Leave the heavy stuff for later if at all. Good luck.
Author wildtrac77 Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Agree with veggirl, sounds normal. Call and ask out again in a couple days. One thing though, why do you know about the ex drama at this point? Consider avoiding drama laden topics and angsty stuff for now and just have fun and flirt. Leave the heavy stuff for later if at all. Good luck. Well i didnt ask about the ex drama stuff..( not really anything to do with me tbh ) it all came out from her friends at the pub when they started talking about her young son, dont think she was too keen for them to tell me about that **** tbh!! ) Im just intrested in getting to know her, ( fun dates, flirting etc and then progressing from there, like you say the heavy stuff will come later if it all.. ) How many days you reckon i should leave it??
dasein Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 As soon as you think of a cool date idea and have time to do it, ask her out. No set amount of days IMO, but usually takes me ~3-6 days to ask out for the next date.
veggirl Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I'd say 2 full days of No Contact (unless she initiates) and then contact her on the 3rd and ask her out again. If she doesn't say YES or give you a no with an ALTERNATE day, then I guess you have your answer.
Author wildtrac77 Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 As soon as you think of a cool date idea and have time to do it, ask her out. No set amount of days IMO, but usually takes me ~3-6 days to ask out for the next date. Yea im gonna take your and veggie girls advice, let it simmer a bit and leave it untill thurs then txt her about another date, iv got a cool date idea ( something she really loves doing but hasnt been in ages ) but cant organize it unless i defo know she wants to go out again.. Weird this no contact thing as in the past when its happened it normally means they arent intrested ( but they normally txt within a day or so and say that, hate not knowing what the score is as taking a rain check can mean different things to different people imo.. ) and when they are intrested they normally txt quite a bit..but guess sometimes you can have too much contact to start out with...
Emilia Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I think she is just trying to slow things down a bit. She has a kid so she is obviously experienced, she knows what going too fast does.
Author wildtrac77 Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 I think she is just trying to slow things down a bit. She has a kid so she is obviously experienced, she knows what going too fast does. Yea i think your defo right, other thing to add from what her friends told me she is really scared of getting badly hurt again.. Im happy to go slow as we got on really well and defo a strong connection between us ( been on many dates when there hasnt been so can tell when there defo is !! ) Be good to know that she is intrested thou as i keep getting messages online from people and dont want to start chatting to them if she likes me but at the same time i dont want to blow them out if she isnt.. I was thinking along the lines of taking it slow and going on one date a week to start with ( i was going to ask her out for next weekend at the end of the last date as we were getting on so well but her mates kinda got in the way before i had chance to ask and put me on the spot about the next night!! ) just how to put it when i txt her that i want to go on dates with her but happy to take it slow at the same time?? ( dont want too come across as too keen but want to amke it clear im intrested at the same time )
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