raul201 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I've got friendly with a girl who has split from her boyfriend but they still live together and have 2 kids. We started texting and things were going great. She admitted that she really liked me and said she was "smitten" we had been very open with each other and all seemed well. We met up for lunch and it went well although we were both a bit nervous. I text her about an hour later saying thanks and that I had a good time. She text back saying she had enjoyed it too. We were supposed to meet a few days after and she said in a text "if you change your mind and don't want to meet I'll understand" I assured her that I did want to meet and asked her if she definitely wanted to and she said she was looking forward to it. The next day I got a really long text saying "that she thought I was great but she had to think of her kids and had just got out of a long relationship and they still live together etc" I thought that would be the end of it but she text me the next day saying "hi just thought id say hello" and "you can text me this evening if you like" the next day she told me some very personal things about her and asked if by telling me had I been put off? I assured her that I wasn't and all that week she was sending messages all the time. By the end of the week I asked her to phone me when she had a minute but she said she couldn't because of the kids. I thought she was brushing me off but called me that evening. Next night we had a nice text chat and she told me "I ticked all the right boxes" and told me other personal things. we were supposed to meet the week after but at the last minute she pulled the plug saying "she wasn't in the right frame of mind" etc so I told her we should "leave it but if she wanted to stay in touch she could do but if she didn't then that's OK too" I told her I was her buddy and had enjoyed our chats. She text back saying that we had "met at the wrong time" I thought that would definitely be it this time and we didn't text for 2 days but she text me on the 3rd day and we have stayed in touch but not every day like before. I must admit that when she cancelled I was slightly relieved because I was worried about seeing her and falling for her because her life is so complicated at the moment. I'm just wondering if she feels the same?
sid3 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I've got friendly with a girl who has split from her boyfriend but they still live together and have 2 kids. We started texting and things were going great. She admitted that she really liked me and said she was "smitten" we had been very open with each other and all seemed well. We met up for lunch and it went well although we were both a bit nervous. I text her about an hour later saying thanks and that I had a good time. She text back saying she had enjoyed it too. We were supposed to meet a few days after and she said in a text "if you change your mind and don't want to meet I'll understand" I assured her that I did want to meet and asked her if she definitely wanted to and she said she was looking forward to it. The next day I got a really long text saying "that she thought I was great but she had to think of her kids and had just got out of a long relationship and they still live together etc" I thought that would be the end of it but she text me the next day saying "hi just thought id say hello" and "you can text me this evening if you like" the next day she told me some very personal things about her and asked if by telling me had I been put off? I assured her that I wasn't and all that week she was sending messages all the time. By the end of the week I asked her to phone me when she had a minute but she said she couldn't because of the kids. I thought she was brushing me off but called me that evening. Next night we had a nice text chat and she told me "I ticked all the right boxes" and told me other personal things. we were supposed to meet the week after but at the last minute she pulled the plug saying "she wasn't in the right frame of mind" etc so I told her we should "leave it but if she wanted to stay in touch she could do but if she didn't then that's OK too" I told her I was her buddy and had enjoyed our chats. She text back saying that we had "met at the wrong time" I thought that would definitely be it this time and we didn't text for 2 days but she text me on the 3rd day and we have stayed in touch but not every day like before. I must admit that when she cancelled I was slightly relieved because I was worried about seeing her and falling for her because her life is so complicated at the moment. I'm just wondering if she feels the same? You were right, you're her buddy. Is she scared? Doubtful.
veggirl Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 she's not scared, she is rebounding and not ready for a relationship. She lives with her ex--what's that arrangement like? She's barely out of a LTR involving kids. There's NO WAY this has long term potential.
Quiet Storm Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 It sounds to me like she is cheating on her boyfriend and is just using you for attention and ego stroking. If she and her boyfriend had really broken up, she would not have to hide your conversation from the kids and she would not have rules about when it's okay to text her or not. She is being so wishy-washy because she is committed elsewhere and is not interested in a real relationship with you. Whenever she needs a compliment, when they argue, when she's bored...she contacts you because you help to fill her need for attention and external validation.
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