frogman Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 My long distance girlfriend and I broke up, last wedensday, she did it after she flipped out in a fit of rage because I took something she said seriously and told my sister she could follow her on twitter which was obviously a joke but I didn't take it as one. The main issue was that her friend overheard and went on and followed my gf which creeped her out to no end and then my gf texts me about it and I said she must of over heard when I told my sister when I took you seriously and she got mad, and me getting all protective and angry of my gf, i texted my sister to tell her friend to unfollow my gf because she's creeping her out ( i was told that in confidence and let it slip by accident in anger) and her friend tweets on twitter so my gf can see it and was like i'm not creepy, you need to get over yourself which caused a big fight between the two of them (which happened last monday night). I texted my gf later on in the night and she told me she was pretty mad at me and i'll talk to you some other time... and then she rages on me hard and talks about how i'm disloyal, two faced, a traitor and then she says me telling her was a waste of breath ( telling my sisters friend) and then she says "I feel the same speaking to you . night, don't give a (swear) (swear) you. We don't talk for a day but the day after , I sent her a long text message about how we shouldn't break up and her reply is this " nothing to talk about, i'm hanging up the towel. sorry. No. I'm done, I'm sorry. maybe we can be friends , then I told her I wouldn't give up on her , she says " please give up. This isn't one of those situations where you can harass me into changing my mind my mind is made up, sorry. I told her she's not someone to easily let go and were very a like. she says" because it doesn't feel right and you can't tell me how I feel. I value your friendship. So I hope you'll forgive me. Then I sent another couple of texts and then she says " there isn't more to this, I've felt like this for a while. I just kept it inside, I'm sorry. then I asked for how long / didn't want me to see you? she said " I don't want to personally attack you or your personality, and go giving you reasons as to why I'm unhappy,. its not important. its circumstances we can't change. I did, but then what? flying back and forth, the hassle, etc. I just don't want to do it, I'm not willing, I know you are. But I don't want to keep doing "this" for 2 yrs or whatever. I said it wouldn't be 2 years. she said " i don't go anywhere, do anything, i go out alone all the time. I feel single. Even though I'm tied. I'm sad, depressed. I'm not getting out there because I'm on the computer every night with you. It's better for me, for now to just.... be friends, don't hate me. then i send another couple of texts and she said " I don't want to lead you on. I enjoy talking with you, but that's all I think it is. I don't really see you as a father to my children. More like a side kick to an evil empire. You know what i mean, but i have a womb not a death star. i send something to her " you can't change my mind , we make bestest friends but that's all.. , maybe business partners even. lovers.. no, i never even think about you sexually (i tell her its because she's sad and depressed). it feels platonic to me . never. I can't recall last time i masterbated , I feel swear bad saying this to you. like pain in my heart because your a close friend and what a idiot I am for taking this long to say something but didn't you ever notice.. . then I told her it would be different in person since we haven't met yet we were going to next month and then I told her I've never seen her as a friend. she said " don't know , you aren't ugly at all. very good looking infact , never??? then I told her never and she did tell me she had a sex dream of her and I and I asked did you make that up? and she told me no. "then i said your feeling sad and depressed which changes how you think and feel of course you not gonna of me sexually when your down like that , new mothers usually go into depression after giving birth and aren't sexually aroused by there husbands and then i said we should meet up since in person it would be so much different and then we can decide to either be friends or something else. she said " hmm .. I don't think so... just not down for that , just not ready for that . Miss talking though. then I told her we could talk tonight and she told me I don't want to talk too you because you'll try to talk me out of my decision. (we haven't spoken for a day she already misses talking to me) I ask what are you not ready for? online you can't determine anything and in person would confirm any doubts you had. she said the whole thing, not ready. I ignore her all of thursday and she sends me a text at around 1am asking how I am and now I didn't respond til 11am the next day , I had work and said I'm greattt, how are you? and she said i'm ok, I told her that's good to hear and her response was I could fall apart any second and cry , i asked why is that? she tells me " sorry i shouldn't be bugging you with my problems have a happy easter" I asked her if breaking up with me was so you can hang out with your friends and make you happy then why are you so sad? I didn't get a response til hours later after i said something else and then she asks are you home? and I told her i wasn't home til later and that we can talk then and then told her I was home and she ignored my messeges for a few hours and then I got annoyed and I'm like obviously you miss talking with me so come on skype and then 10mins later , I get a text saying she's on skype and messages me first. then talks about how she has been kind of messed up the pass few days having alot of rage , I asked what is causing all the rage? and she told me not to play therapist. I asked if she was still choked with me and said yes then jumped into the issue of of monday about me being two faced and etc and i gave her my response and then replies with a sigh and video calls me , I told her to put it on her and she said i was pushing my luck, and then i'm like oh look its mr teddy and company and her response was the whole and then immediately a frown. we talked and then she told me she had to go and I wanted to say something else but then she said text me. I did text her but she ignored me and then I'm like why tell me to text you if your gonna ignore me? and she said sorry don't feel chatty. I haven't text her since she has said that, but should I? I know all those break up advice guides say you should wait 30 days but she gave me alot contradicting answers, and it doesn't feel like a break up at all, it sounds like she still likes me alot still and what I find funny now that it dawned on me is that she said she enjoys talking to me thats what she think it only is, but we haven't hung out in person yet , so that would change everything. should I text her soon because she did say that and it doesn't sound like things are over? It wasn't a clean break up , I'm good looking , fun to talk too , can make her laugh. and what person says I don't want to talk to you because you'll try and change my decision, < would that make it seem like its not permanent then and that she can actually be swayed? I need an outsiders look on this. sorry for the long read.
bradc Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Withdraw yourself completely from this and go on a NC with her. Don't bend yourself too much over this. Refer to this thread - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/281193-all-new-no-contact-thread
TMichaels Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Take your glasses off (the rose-colored ones). The woman is either telling you the truth as in doesn't see a future with you or she's seriously immature and the kind of drama that's been happening between the two of you is just going to repeat itself over and over again. Either way, you lose. And, don't fall for the "we can be best friends" B.S. either. The two of you are just kidding yourselves -- you, in terms of thinking that will enable you to "get out of the friend zone" eventually and into BF-territory, and she, in terms of thinking that she'll be able to cry on your shoulder any time she likes "as a friend." At least you haven't wasted half of your life on this woman. Look at it as you've dodged a bullet; cut your losses (as in go NC immediately), learn from your experience, and move on. Best, TMichaels
Author frogman Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 Take your glasses off (the rose-colored ones). The woman is either telling you the truth as in doesn't see a future with you or she's seriously immature and the kind of drama that's been happening between the two of you is just going to repeat itself over and over again. Either way, you lose. And, don't fall for the "we can be best friends" B.S. either. The two of you are just kidding yourselves -- you, in terms of thinking that will enable you to "get out of the friend zone" eventually and into BF-territory, and she, in terms of thinking that she'll be able to cry on your shoulder any time she likes "as a friend." I've known her for almost 7 years, the first time we talked , we liked each other , then stopped talking and few years later liked each other again. She is just sad/depressed , so her moods are all out of the place. She didn't want to wait for 2 years, and I figured out the solution to the problem and can get there in a few months, so now all I have to do is get her to talk again and bam , since we haven't met at all yet, all we have done is talk. She's being stupid. My self esteem isn't down or is my confidence , it's the same as it always has been. It's a stupid situation all way around. I'm going with immature and dramatic for 200. All her reasons didn't even match up
aisle_seat Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Doesn't anyone ever talk face to face anymore? This whole thing started over what someone did on Twitter and the solution is to text back and forth? I'm sorry, I don't mean to be troll-y but I think a lot of this drama could be avoided if you just talked to each other on the phone or face to face more often. 2
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