superchiefs Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I have been broken up with my ex for over a year. She broke up with me. I have a girlfriend. She has a boyfriend. I have gone NC with her for about 5 months. However, she has tried to get me fired from my job twice and she keeps spreading rumors about me that I was abusive towards her. Is there anything I can do to put a stop to this? I thought about trying to get her fired from her job, but so far, I have gone with the route of ignoring her, thinking it would go away. But things are fresh in my mind right now because the 2nd time she tried to get me fired was just a couple of days ago. My boss said that they just find it annoying, her most recent complaint was her claiming that I post offensive things on the internet during work hours. There is no truth to this, she has no proof, but she prints off random stuff from message boards that is offensive and says that it is me posting it. My boss called me in, said there was nothing they could do if I was posting stuff because of freedom of speech, but that I needed to try and get her to stop complaining because it could potentially harm the company's name. I made it a clear point to my boss that I wasnt posting anything and that I didnt really know what to do because I had been broken up from my ex for over a year and that I dont even talk to her any more. Please give me some advice on this.
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Get a restraining order. does her BF know she's behaving like this? If not, maybe he should....
wilsonx Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 (edited) Talk to her? LOL Restraining order and tell the boyfriend, lets pour jetfuel in a bonfire I dont know, posting on an internet forum because you dont know how to communicate with another human being is pretty lame to me. Both you and your ex need to grow up, make up and get married... you 2 idiots love each other stop being idiots Edited April 9, 2012 by wilsonx 1
Philosoraptor Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I have to agree that you need to inform her that you will need to take action to protect yourself if she does not cease her actions. She's still hurting from whatever happened and is taking that aggression out on you. It's understandable and forgivable, but do not continue to tolerate it. You need to protect yourself as your job is on the line based on it possibly having an affect on the company. 2
Author superchiefs Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Get a restraining order. does her BF know she's behaving like this? If not, maybe he should.... Looked in to a restraining order, police said based on the information, I cant get one on her. When she complained, she went to our main office. I work at a branch office. Her boyfriend went with her on the first complaint. She was going through a tough time 5 months ago, asked me to talk to her, I told her that I had better things to do than worry about her life. So her and her boyfriend went in and complained, saying that I was rude to them as customers.
wilsonx Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Looked in to a restraining order, police said based on the information, I cant get one on her. When she complained, she went to our main office. I work at a branch office. Her boyfriend went with her on the first complaint. She was going through a tough time 5 months ago, asked me to talk to her, I told her that I had better things to do than worry about her life. So her and her boyfriend went in and complained, saying that I was rude to them as customers. For the non idiots out there, this is what black and white HARDCORE NC causes. This childish behavior You poured jetfuel on a bon fire and it exploded in your face Grow up and talk to her. 1
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 if your company is getting irritated, then possibly - if they're concerned about their company name/reputation, they'll have to think of what to do. If you explain to them that you can't stop her, and you've researched a restraining order and her behaviour is not covered by one - then maybe them sending her a terse letter and telling her they've contacted their solicitors may help - insofar as work is concerned. insofar as you are concerned? Block her at every avenue, and completely ignore her.
wilsonx Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 (edited) /facepalm Really? He has blocked her at every avenue and its going to cost him his job. Customer is always right, even his or her friends can join in. A 5 minute phone call will fix everything. For me, if I find myself digging a hole like his, eventually I will get tired and put the shovel down. You are going to eventually only after you lose everything, your job, your girlfriend and hit ROCK BOTTOM. Im offering to take the shovel from you now while you still have the 2. Edited April 9, 2012 by wilsonx
wilsonx Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 5 Minute Phone Call Will Fix everything on both ends. They are "AVOIDING" each other on purpose. Look what they have resorted too. I even predicted it before it was posted. They are acting like children. Its not the END of the world to talk to an ex that GIGSed out. Thats why I do not agree with Caliguy's NC Guide in this situation. For Caliguy, its correct, he was a GIGS rebound. His advice in it fits rebounds. This fire needs to be extinguished now though or its going to cost Superchiefs everything.
EgoJoe Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 OP: Just put her in her place. Appeal to her sense of shame. A simple email: "Uh, This childish bs has got to end. You're only making yourself look bad, my/our boss has even said as much. I don't hate you but you have got to leave me alone."
Author superchiefs Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Thank you to everyone for your helpful advice. After reading the responses, and thinking things over. I think I am going to attempt to continue to ignore her. If she contacts my work for a 3rd time, then I will send her an email, requesting that she leave me alone and threaten her with a restraining order and hopefully that will scare her in to stopping the nonsense. She holds a job for the government that is very particular about criminal records, so there would be a good chance of her getting fired if she had a restraining order filed against her.
betterdeal Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Explaining the situation to your employer may help protect your job. Have they discussed it with you yet?
wilsonx Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 (edited) ]Thank you to everyone for your helpful advice. After reading the responses' date=' and thinking things over. I think I am going to attempt to continue to ignore her.[/b'][/u] If she contacts my work for a 3rd time, then I will send her an email, requesting that she leave me alone and threaten her with a restraining order and hopefully that will scare her in to stopping the nonsense. She holds a job for the government that is very particular about criminal records, so there would be a good chance of her getting fired if she had a restraining order filed against her. LOL... Ignoring her as worked for so long. Fuel that bonfire with jetfuel. I guess you got a container of Rocketfuel in your shed. What people fail to realize in this post is your ex isnt the problem. You are the problem. You are quick to blame her for your actions but your action of being a coward enables her to treat you the way you are being treated from an ex and its not going to stop with weak cowardly threats of "Im going to threaten you with a restraining order" Keep running with your tail tucked between your legs for the rest of your life or man up become a Lion and ROAR "Waaaah my ex wont leave me alone" LOL... can't believe some boys on this forum Edited April 9, 2012 by wilsonx 1
immitable Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Wilsonx is right, you people look like a bunch of stubborn, vindictive brats.
Phanpooh Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 make her feel guilty and regret i'm jk 8y ago, my first ex, chased me like hell, blamed me about left her for nothing ( just like i hook up with her then leave her, in fact she had other crush and used me, then she got him, i broke up with that hot girl cause she had emotional cheating). i'm a little boy and so stupid to be a jerk ^^ but i said i dun care about that, about her and her things, i just act indifferently... then after 1.5y, she gave up, and leave me alone... until now, she s still in her guilty, regret what she did, and told me, she never find anyone better than me ( in fact i didn't do anything for her), she also tells me, she hate it when talking with me, just like she lost her confident.... i think you just live your own life and be a real man! everyone know what you do, what she do and don't let yourself bother her life. What did she do? let it's her side, your boss, your company, your friends, family.... will know who and how you are, let that bitch out of your life, if you want an advise, let her own life out of yours....
Author superchiefs Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Explaining the situation to your employer may help protect your job. Have they discussed it with you yet? Well, when she broke up with me, it was very difficult on me at the time, so I immediately went in to our HR department and took advantage of the work provided pyschiatrist sessions. So my employer has a good idea of what went on in the past. I just hate to have my personal life interfering with my workplace, but it seems like it is pretty much beyond my control. I suppose I could give in and start providing my ex with the emotional support that she apparently needs and cant get from her current boyfriend, but I know that would cause my current girlfriend to dump me and I really dont want to lose her.
wilsonx Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Afraid to be alone? If you cared at all about your girlfriend you would have ended this **** with your ex when it started. If you didn't care about your ex and didnt love her, you would have told her to F OFF already. Like I said, you are the one with the problem. Like the saying goes, You are having your cake and eating it too. 1
Phanpooh Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 i like wilson, philo,... and some olds here ^^ they talking like a hipster, but that true help and directly sometime that hurt but helpful ^_^ they give some same advise and the best way to help anything but hipster is hipster, haters gonna hate Peace \m/
betterdeal Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Well, when she broke up with me, it was very difficult on me at the time, so I immediately went in to our HR department and took advantage of the work provided pyschiatrist sessions. So my employer has a good idea of what went on in the past. I just hate to have my personal life interfering with my workplace, but it seems like it is pretty much beyond my control. I suppose I could give in and start providing my ex with the emotional support that she apparently needs and cant get from her current boyfriend, but I know that would cause my current girlfriend to dump me and I really dont want to lose her. It's good that your employer knows, and that you're more concerned about your current lover than the past one. It is pretty much beyond your control, you're right, and the two parties involved (her and your employer) are best placed to deal with her contacting them. Might be worth just checking in with your employer again, let them know where you're at in life (have a new girlfriend, don't want to get involved with this other woman again) just so they know the lay of the land.
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