perryb13 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 So to update everyone on my situation, this weekend my ex and I, who were trying to be friends because we had been good friends before dating, got into a massive fight and now she's not speaking to me. I can't tell whether or not I should actually be glad about this, because I was hoping the NC would be a mutual peaceful agreement: "hey, I know we want to be friends but I can't get over you right now so I think we just need to take some time apart." She thought it was ridiculous that I couldn't just "man up" and be friends. I was getting jealous and upset because she already seemed to be moving on to another guy less than a month later, even though she would always talk about how our relationship was different than any she had ever had before. I've started to think that she just needs a boyfriend that's there for her 24/7, she's had little single time between her first serious high school boyfriend and myself. She's always hopped from guy to guy, and I need some encouragement in just getting her off my mind. Like I said, if it hadn't been this massive fight that resulted in NC, I'd feel better. But maybe this is for the best? What do you guys think? If she ever tries to reconcile should I take the opportunity?
Mr Scorpio Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 It is probably for the best that NC developed, even though the way that it came about is certainly less than ideal. As for reconcilliation, I would need to know more about the situation (who left who and why) to say one way or the other.
Author perryb13 Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 (edited) It is probably for the best that NC developed, even though the way that it came about is certainly less than ideal. As for reconcilliation, I would need to know more about the situation (who left who and why) to say one way or the other. I technically broke up with her, although we both agreed it was necessary. Again, it seems silly that I broke up with her and she's the one just moving on but maybe that's just how she is. Ideally I would love to, somewhere down the road, regain the friendship, because it really was great. Unfortunately, I don't know if it's ever going to happen, but we'll see. I just want it to be because we truly just want to be friends and not because I just want to have feelings for her again. It' definitely not worth it if I'm just going to be bummed about her again. I got over my first girlfriend of over 2 years totally fine after about 2 months, but this relationship was more serious...I think maybe too much seriousness too quickly. Edited April 9, 2012 by perryb13 Elaborating
Mr Scorpio Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I think it is good to set the strict goal of being friends for friends sake and not hoping that it might blossom into something else. I don't know if I could ever do that with my ex. As to whether or not you should accept an offer of reconcilliation? Sure, if you think you can compartmentalize your feelings, or if they have passed by that point.
Author perryb13 Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 I think it is good to set the strict goal of being friends for friends sake and not hoping that it might blossom into something else. I don't know if I could ever do that with my ex. As to whether or not you should accept an offer of reconcilliation? Sure, if you think you can compartmentalize your feelings, or if they have passed by that point. If it comes, I'm hoping it happens once I've got all of my feelings in order. Already though, after 2 days of NC and a lot of talking to friends and my parents, I'm feeling a lot better about being single. The possible loss of an old friend still shakes me up a little, but I think time heals a lot of things.
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