PlumPrincess Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Truthfuly I only have a small group of real friends. Sure girls can be in that but it would be as part of like knowing her through a guy or a girl I was dating etc. Wouldn't like hey suzie lets give eachother back rubs at the beach and read next to eachother. I just like your company... just as a friend. The only male platonic friends a woman can have are those who have lots of other female friends because they are good with women. Usually they also talk pretty freely about women and relationships. The rest are just troublemakers.
zengirl Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 The only male platonic friends a woman can have are those who have lots of other female friends because they are good with women. Usually they also talk pretty freely about women and relationships. The rest are just troublemakers. Interesting thought. I will say my male friends fit this bill generally -- they don't necessarily have a "majority" of female friends, but they have others besides me, of course.
xxoo Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 The only male platonic friends a woman can have are those who have lots of other female friends because they are good with women. Usually they also talk pretty freely about women and relationships. Yes, that is the case with my male friends, as well. Also, this describes my husband, who has a few female friends in his inner circle. These are not men who are hanging out with orbiters because they have trouble getting a woman of their own. Not by a long shot.
somedude81 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Well, I know I couldn't date someone I just met. I would much rather be a friend w/ someone before dating. That way we can cut loose together w/ our friends, which is important that he likes my friends & vice verse. And so I can see what type of person he is around others. Somehow I missed this post. This is precisely why I prefer to get to know a girl first before I ask her out. I have no desire to date girls I don't know. Though it seems that women like KR10N are uncommon.
somedude81 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Good points but I want thed added point that SD want to be a girl as far as dating roles. He wants to be seduced. Dust, drop it with that crap. In the prescence of women his libido is nowhere to be found. Its something he later thinks about away from them. While that is mostly true, to it doesn't have any relation to the BS you keep saying about me wanting to be seduced and that I want to be the girl.
jobaba Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Yes, that is the case with my male friends, as well. Also, this describes my husband, who has a few female friends in his inner circle. These are not men who are hanging out with orbiters because they have trouble getting a woman of their own. Not by a long shot. Being able to communicate with women doesn't equal being good romantically with women. I've always had lots of female friends. We talk about food, art, culture, politics, current events, books, wine, and of course, relationships. But I've never been good romantically. Other guys are prototypical guy's guys and they get girls all the time. I don't have the attitude (or I didn't at least)...
somedude81 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 SD I more meant you want to be in the role of girl in dating. As in the way you see how easy it is for women as compared to the way women treat men. Does that make more sense. I didn' tmean you want to be a girl so sorry for saying it like that. I've never said that I want to be in the role of the girl. The only things I've said is that women have it much easier, and that if I were a woman, I'd be married already. Which is again, just stating how much easier women have it then men. As for you having no libido around a girl you know that urge to pull her clothes off and feel her up what ever... well it leads to you doing nothing even when you have a girl over at your place... which means you need a girl to make the moves. A girl will never make the moves nor do I expect one to. Why I don't feel the urge to rip off a girls clothes and feel her up when I'm alone with her, probably has a lot to do with my confidence and past experiences. I think it's part of my subconscious thinking; "she's going to turn me down, so I won't get horny." I have no problem getting things going when I know that I won't be rejected.
irc333 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Funny, I see these women all the time on Dating sites...."Friends first" or "Looking for friends" Funny how the only friends they're looking for is of the opposite sex ! lol I wonder why are going this route? 1
PlumPrincess Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 While that is mostly true, to it doesn't have any relation to the BS you keep saying about me wanting to be seduced and that I want to be the girl. Sorry, you do act like the Sleeping Beauty who is waiting for her prince to come. The majority of women are more aggressive when they pursue a guy than you are with a girl you are really into. In order to be the one who gets pursued, you must have something that women want - looks, smarts, charm, self-confidence, wit, etc. Whatever it is, you don't seem to have enough to appear attractive and you are unwilling to put effort improve. Plus you're unwilling to broaden your range of acceptable options, for example a girl with an A cup is not acceptable, but then you have to accept as well without this whining that a lot of women don't want to date shorter guys. 2
Anela Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Funny, I see these women all the time on Dating sites...."Friends first" or "Looking for friends" Funny how the only friends they're looking for is of the opposite sex ! lol I wonder why are going this route? This isn't true. I was looking for friends of both genders, and avoided men who mentioned "friends, with the possibility of it building into more."
somedude81 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Sorry, you do act like the Sleeping Beauty who is waiting for her prince to come. The majority of women are more aggressive when they pursue a guy than you are with a girl you are really into. In order to be the one who gets pursued, you must have something that women want - looks, smarts, charm, self-confidence, wit, etc. Whatever it is, you don't seem to have enough to appear attractive and you are unwilling to put effort improve. Plus you're unwilling to broaden your range of acceptable options, for example a girl with an A cup is not acceptable, but then you have to accept as well without this whining that a lot of women don't want to date shorter guys. Read my most recent post. And no, I don't want to be pursued.
irc333 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 This isn't true. I was looking for friends of both genders, and avoided men who mentioned "friends, with the possibility of it building into more." Why would you do this on a dating site? 1
somedude81 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Why would you do this on a dating site? Looking for friends on a dating site is like trying to order a steak at Vegans R' Us.
Anela Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Why would you do this on a dating site? OKCupid has an option for looking for friends, pen pals, etc. It's a way to meet people. 1
irc333 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 OKCupid has an option for looking for friends, pen pals, etc. It's a way to meet people. How about joining a real life group if you want to make friends? Leave the dating sites for the legit singles. Funny you mention that, there's actually hot married woman on that site, she "claims" the same thing....sounds like he husband is a sucker for letting her use that site. I know I would object to it, but of course, some men don't have the balls.
Anela Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 How about joining a real life group if you want to make friends? Leave the dating sites for the legit singles. Funny you mention that, there's actually hot married woman on that site, she "claims" the same thing....sounds like he husband is a sucker for letting her use that site. I know I would object to it, but of course, some men don't have the balls. I was a "legit single". I'm still single, and if it's only a dating site, then it shouldn't have options for everything else. If I state that I'm only looking for friends, then I've put it right out there. No pretense.
sid3 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 A girl will never make the moves Yes some do. You just have dated any of them yet.
irc333 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I was a "legit single". I'm still single, and if it's only a dating site, then it shouldn't have options for everything else. If I state that I'm only looking for friends, then I've put it right out there. No pretense. I think you're lying, (as per a poster here) it's a lie, it's a dating site, you're just using it as an out. You're not using that site as "friends only". It only has that option to get more traffic.
phineas Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 To add to that, I've seen a lot of occasions where guys really don't take the blunt approach very well and it threatens to escalate into quite a messy scenario, mostly emotional though potentially physical. Some guys really take it badly. I've never seen such, nor known of such men anywhere IRL, only on tv and in movies. I've known plenty of men to take rejection badly, but not take it out on the woman rejecting them... past HS. I'm sure every woman has a couple of stories of men who cursed her or whatever when rejected, and those few bad reactions are like the catcalling, menacing guy who won't go away in the bar, the narrow exception. I have. But it only happens after the woman led the guy on for a month or so, said she didn't want a relationship or let's just be friends after she already kissed him, made out, let him buy her dinner, ect. Then said "I didn't mean to lead you on" Then the guy calls her a dic-tease or tells her how horrible a person she is for leading him on. Basically, puts her is position where she has to be accountable for her actions. OMFG! THE HORROR! LOL! If a guy goes on one date with a woman & she says LJBF's. I've never heard of a guy raging. It's when the women lead the guy on & use him for attention, free dinner, drinks & let him think she is interested in him when there is a problem. 1
phineas Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Women would be wise to listen to that, and understand that men have a strong drive to seek sex even if they have no interest in a relationship with you. I advise women to take note, and pay attention to a man's actions, not his words. As for being tricked, dog bites you once, shame on the dog. Dog bites you twice, shame on you. This is as true for women as it is for men. Enforce your own boundaries, and only engage in sex, or friendship, if you are ok with the terms as they are. Ah, but you can't spend your life not trusting every dog you come across & just because a dog doesn't growl & wags it's tail, it still doesn't mean it won't bite you later.
Anela Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 (edited) I think you're lying, (as per a poster here) it's a lie, it's a dating site, you're just using it as an out. You're not using that site as "friends only". It only has that option to get more traffic. I'm not lying, but you're entitled to your assumption. Which poster are you talking about? Edited April 10, 2012 by Anela 1
phineas Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I'm not lying, but you're entitled to your assumption. Which poster are you talking about? What he's saying is women who claim friends first do as a cowardly way to not have to tell a guy she isn't interested or use it as a way to just get attention from men. The reality is if a Ryan Reynolds clone on match.com pops up in her daily matches, that "friends first" stuff goes right out the window & her rules change. Nobody is paying $50 every 3 months on match.com to find platonic male friends. Not when Meetup.com has 100's of different social groups & designed exactly for that. Also, I've wasted my time on more than a women who say they only date friends then I don't hear from them for a week or two & all of a sudden they are in a relationship with a super hot guy they just met. It happens more often than not.
Anela Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 But I'm not saying "friends first" and he accused me of lying. I walked away, and am going to do so again right now, because I realized that I was sitting here waiting for a brawl - I'm not fully settled down from something that happened earlier - and I don't want to entertain the possibility of getting banned. I really don't appreciate being told what I'm thinking, feeling and doing, especially when it comes from a stranger on the internet, who doesn't have the first clue about my personality, my morals, my wants and needs, etc. 2
thatone Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Being able to communicate with women doesn't equal being good romantically with women. I've always had lots of female friends. We talk about food, art, culture, politics, current events, books, wine, and of course, relationships. But I've never been good romantically. Other guys are prototypical guy's guys and they get girls all the time. I don't have the attitude (or I didn't at least)... it doesn't take much. stir even a little attraction and the fear of displeasing you/rejection will get you laid.
phineas Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 But I'm not saying "friends first" and he accused me of lying. I walked away, and am going to do so again right now, because I realized that I was sitting here waiting for a brawl - I'm not fully settled down from something that happened earlier - and I don't want to entertain the possibility of getting banned. I really don't appreciate being told what I'm thinking, feeling and doing, especially when it comes from a stranger on the internet, who doesn't have the first clue about my personality, my morals, my wants and needs, etc. Yeah, I sorta skipped to the end of this thread so I skimmed & don't know what's going on here. It got really long since this morning.
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