123321 Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I need to check though, is vanilla sex like a blow job and a hand job for another man considered cheating in a marriage? I feel betrayed but she indicated 'that is not sleeping with someone or cheating'. I have a strong feeling she HAS actually slept with the above guy now though. Please advise, what are your thoughts? Depends on the nature of the marriage. What did you agree to when you married? If it's an "open marriage" or whatever then it's not cheating.
2.50 a gallon Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 My story: Over the lunch hour of our six month anniversary I took off from my work place with a bouquet of flowers to have a surprise lunch with her. Where upon I caught her kissing one of the rent a Barney Fifes. With angry words and much name calling I told her it was unsafe for her to come home that night and that I would not be by to pick her up. In short I kicked her to the curb. The mariage was over
StoneCold Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Vanilla Sex is just good ole' fashioned penile/vaginal penetrative sex....no "wierdness", no kinkiness, no crazy positions.....
StoneCold Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I would say vanilla sex is ole' fashioned but I though only missionary style... I mean is doggy style and girl on top still vanila... I mean hardly kinky... doggy style can get a little kinky... so can girl on top... BJ's and RJ's and heck even HJ's are not so vanilla. Something to think about. BJs, and HJs arent vanilla? where are you from lol? all that stuff is vanilla.....doggie, cowgirl, mish..... all pretty commonplace....except for the RJs; thats starting to get "adventurous" lol
oldguy Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 (edited) You're kind of being a dick. I mean you give the guy full cart blanche to be confused about if he wife sucking another guy off or playing with his privates till he orgasms is cheating but me being incredibly confused about the entire nature of his relationship and the fact that he wasn't even sure it was cheating is some how an unexcusable confusion. If anything my confusion is more valid considering some major details are being left out. I guess in the end this might be the best explination he says he has OCD maybe this points to some major cognitive syptoms involving his thinking on this. Like he has to be told its cheating or explained... I don't know frankly I'm done trying to understand and he is in for some major problems unless he takes a new approach to what is and isn't cheating because to have to specificaly be told by us that BJ's is cheating... I mean what happens when some one he's dating does something else like I don't know gives a naked massage to a guy or lets him suck on her breasts or what ever.... does he need to be told or figure out that is cheating. I mean if he's cool with it then its not cheating... but if he wants to be all "thats unacceptable" then it is cheating... I'm just lost but this explenation you've given oldguy comes the closest in my mind. I would say vanilla sex is ole' fashioned but I though only missionary style... I mean is doggy style and girl on top still vanila... I mean hardly kinky... doggy style can get a little kinky... so can girl on top... BJ's and RJ's and heck even HJ's are not so vanilla. Something to think about. A couple years ago there was a best selling book titled; "oral sex is the new goodnight kiss", & most of these girls where appalled at the suggestion that this practice was sex. A few years before that there was a belief among some young women that if they only had anal they where still virgins. What is messed up is there are people having sex who don't know what it is. "Having sex" means any consensual behavior between two or more individuals involving genital contact and bodily penetration. That means oral sex, anal sex, and vaginal sex are all "sex." I still like the comparison that says' If a person who has reached the age of consent can be arrested for engaging in an act with someone who has not, what they've been arrested for is therefore remains sex when transferred to people who have reached the age of consent. A quote I like regarding; hand jobs, heavy petting, and general rubbing is, "It's like being charged with a felony but not convicted". So if you jerked a guy off and someone asks, "Did you have sex today?" You can say, "No," but you must add, "But I did jerk someone off." Not my quote but I thought it was humorous enough to repeat. Edited April 11, 2012 by oldguy 1
oldguy Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 OP's W took the stance that since it didn't involve penetration, it wasn't cheating. I can see where OP is confused, because he's been living with a liar, a lot of gaslighting, and ambient abuse. These things will make a person question themselves and what they know to be true. Him asking this question, the answer to which seems obvious to most of us, tells us that he's been living with a major mind f**k for a while. It's time for compassion, not criticism. Yes but oral penetration is still penetration.
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