Forevergreen Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Hello people, 1st post but I have been visiting here for the last month. So much to say but no idea where to start. All I know is that here in the UK it's a 4 day holiday and boy has it been tough. I last texted my ex girlfriend on Thursday, we had been LC for the last month, but you know when your texting and not getting any thing back from someone, apart from how busy her new job was and the usual "how are you" "did you have a good weekend/day" I just got fed up with replying that I was "ok" when all I want to say is that I miss her, love her, and that at the moment I'm anything but ok...... Ah I'm sure I'm not the only one here with the same dilemma. I will post my BU details I've tried many times, started typing but never finished. Just that this morning it's hard to get my last memory of her, lying in my arms out of my head.
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Hi fellow brit.... read the signature link in my post. the Caliguy one. and go No contact. you shouldn't be in touch with your ex, you shouldn't even be speaking to her, or on LC. That's called ripping the stitches out and stopping the healing taking place. Read it, and read it and read it again, and again, and again. 1
Frank13 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I just got fed up with replying that I was "ok" when all I want to say is that I miss her, love her, and that at the moment I'm anything but ok...... You have to remember that when you love someone and they don't love you back, your love for them means absolutely nothing to them. I know it doesn't feel that way to you and if your love grows for them, in your mind it feels like they should feel better about it, but it means nothing to them. When we love someone and it grows our heart is filled with it and we would do anything for them, but they don't feel it at all. 1
Author Forevergreen Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Thanks guys for your replies, just feeling wretched this morning. It's a grey day here in the burbs rain and grey skies. I know you right about NC, to get me some space and healing. But that's the tough one, I'm in a no mans land at the moment, I'm sleeping on an inflatable mattress at a mates house in his box room my clothes lie in bin bags, my flat I own I have to give the tenant 3 months notice to vacate and the rest of my worldly goods are at her place. I've read so much these last 4 weeks about how the dumper has detached from the relationship way before the BU day. But it's still hard the complete detachment from them, from someone you spent the last year with and cared so much about.......now means nothing. Few things about my BU I know pretty much for sure, she's in the arms of someone 12 years younger then her now, some 32 yr old guy she works with (I'm 43 and she is 44) I know irrelevant now, nothing I can say or do to change that. Any how as I said I appreciate the replies I've had and Tara I'll give that link a good read
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Thanks guys for your replies, just feeling wretched this morning. It's a grey day here in the burbs rain and grey skies. i know, i'm here too.. it's dismal, isn't it? i know it's ridiculous to say it, but the weather, is the weather... get yourself out and get a breath of fresh air.. it will do you good, i promise. just go for a walk... and choose a land mark ahead of you, and guess how many paces it will take to get you there... it's good for the mind to be distracted.... I know you right about NC, to get me some space and healing. But that's the tough one, NC can be done any time - it doesn't depend on where you are, or your circumstances. I'm in a no mans land at the moment, I'm sleeping on an inflatable mattress at a mates house in his box room my clothes lie in bin bags, my flat I own I have to give the tenant 3 months notice to vacate and the rest of my worldly goods are at her place. OK, well, this is temporary, it's all temporary. ask a mutual friend to contact her and ask her to put all your stuff in boxes/bags, because once you get your flat back, they can then go get your stuff for you... the less communication from you, the better.... This too, passes.... Any how as I said I appreciate the replies I've had and Tara I'll give that link a good read copy, paste and print out, several copies. Keep one with you at all times, and leave others where you can read them... at work, by your bed.... Any questions, please ask - but it's all there....
Author Forevergreen Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Thanks Tara, I've read the thread, some very valid points, going to be so hard to implement though, you'd think after 4 weeks it would be starting to get easier not harder to handle.
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Not if you've been in touch with her, it isn't. because every time you speak with her or text her or connect with her, you just rip the stitches out, and everything you say just masks what you actually wish you were saying, so it just enhances the pain.
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