mason 25 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 we have been having sex for over a month and we made it official yesterday.. and she told me she doesn't have feelings for me it takes her a while to devolop feelings for a person. that sex is just sex to her.she said she needs time to develop feelings for me.she said give her time. she has had a lot of sex buddies and that made her a cold person and her heart has been broken before. so im in a relationship with her and she doesnt have feelings for me she doesn't care for me and that shes trying to be in a relationship. i dont even know what to feel is this normal?
january2011 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 In my experience, that it is not normal, but I don't have much experience with people who have had a lot of sex-only relationships, so don't know if 'not feeling anything' is usual with this crowd. If you need her to have those relationship feelings, you're going to either have to stick around to see if she develops them or find someone whose heart is more open. I'm assuming that this is the same woman about whom you've created a number of threads where you express doubts - my conclusion is that perhaps your values and relationship goals are not compatible and you might be better off looking for a relationship elsewhere.
veggirl Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I don't know if that is "normal" or not, but it doesn't matter. What matters is, she is telling you she doesn't care about you. You are another sex buddy to her, and she may or may not develop deeper feelings for you as time goes on. Are you okay with waiting around in hopes that she does? I wouldn't be. What you're doing is taking on a "project"--I wouldn't do that, you're most likely bound to be disappointed. Why is she trying out this relationship? How stupid. Why are you letting her use you as her experiment? EVERYONE has had their heart broken. It's not an excuse. 1
loversquarrel Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Get out of this relationship sooner than later. Its not normal and its been my experience in dealing with people like this that they usually often times have deep rooted issues that have not been resolved. They use sex in the same way an addict uses drugs, for temporary relief of whatever they are trying to escape. Love yourself and find someone who respects themselves.
Radu Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I do not have experience with this situation, and i do find it a bit odd too ... but i believe it can happen, i read somewhere that the least sexual women out there are either prostitutes or nuns. The first had too much sex and had to stop themselves from having feelings for partner, and the 2nd live their entire life devoted to celibacy. One thing i have learned over the yrs, is that when someone warns you about themselves, do not take it light ... take it as a serious thing. What she said is not 'cute' and be carefull you don't fall into the 'white knight' way of acting.
orcunderabridge Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Ok you've become official after having sex for one month, was this your idea I'm curious? I have a feeling it was your idea from the post. Why rush into things? So from what I read, and this isn't a whole lot to go on, is that she told you that she hasn't developed feelings for you yet and that it takes her a little while for her to do so. That might be what she says but how does she act? Are you the one that's on her mind all the time? Do you spend most of yours and hers free time together. Does it seem like shes only interested in you? The truth is that what she says might mean a million things and I think that you've grossly misinterpreted it as "she doesn't care about me". Just be cool bro, isn't a horrible situation at all..... A girl you obviously find attractive is having sex with you and spending time with you..... ummmmm okay that doesn't seem so bad....... She presumably doesn't want things to get serious too quickly...... hmmm that doesn't seem to bad either. Girls that want to jump into things in my experience are girls that I have the least inclination to "jump into things" with. If this getting official thing was her idea and she said that I'd be very surprised.... whose idea was it?
Amorfati Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 If you want a rs with her, just give her a time like she said. Dont overwhelm her. Pretend like you are with her just for sex. But it doesnt meant that ignore her, act restless. Because it looks like you have more feelings than her. Over time, good sex and your cool attitude makes her bounded to you. 1
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