mridul_chajilee Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I and my Ex ended our 11years relation by quarrel,abuse etc only by means of arguments.But some exes also end their relation by understanding and compromise due to religion,famil etc problems.And i think those exes live happily in this world,coz still they have the same respect,care for their beloved one.Guys,what about you?
Follower Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 My breakup was a breakdown in comunication over a prologned period of time. I was having my issues and not talking to her about them, she tried to talk to me but i was too stuck in a rut to communicaite back(or mabye i just didnt know how to comunicaite about it, who knows, main thing is i do now!). This caused issues in all aspects of the relationship. The Fatal end caught me by suprise which wasnt great for me, she was very mature about the whole matter and so she left with me still having the respect for her, but my actions post breakup have left her with no respect for me. So over all it was a wonderfull experiance i hope to never repeat! alas, we live and learn no?
lizardking8610 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Brutal the first time Homicide of the soul the second time
Phanpooh Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 For her, there were ton of reason For me, she had new boy in picture
facepalm Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 (edited) Awful breakup. 3.5 years together, cheated on many times (in the middle of it, during our 1 year apart), the affair was buried. After I secured a job and moved interstate to be with her (and moved all her furniture, CDs, books etc.) she decided to re-establish contact with the other guy and begin a long distance relationship with him. She did all of this while lying to me about there being another man. I found out via a note she left on her laptop because she was too much of a selfish, spineless witch to confront me and break up with me. She tried to keep me around as a friend and didn't want to lose me. This girl is an emotional child and has deep psychological problems that I couldn't see. Hormones are a bitch. 3 months on and a whole lot of LS forums later I realise that I have dodged a massive bullet. I have made a ton of new friends in this new city, rekindled old friendships, work is amazing, I have huge plans and a bright future. You will get there with the right support network. I hear from many of our mutual friends (and from her texts to me) that she is a mess, thinks she is making a mistake etc. I know she's made a mistake, she ditched a caring, intelligent, good looking, fit, passionate and hilarious person and fantastic cook for a fantasy, a guy who I found out (through the same note) was pressuring her to break up with me all while still sleeping with his exes. You only get to make that mistake once though. I have had strict NC for 3 months. I still think about her all the time, but the pain is gone and it's mostly pity that is left. The thing I miss most is the friendship and intimacy. Oh well, now she has a new emotional tampon and he has no idea what he's in for. Edited April 9, 2012 by facepalm
budley12 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 For her, there were ton of reason For me, she had new boy in picture Same here. about 3 years, us being our first loves. Living together in the dorms every year. Traveling the country many times... Ex gave every reason in the book. Then I find out ex was sleeping over with the new guy even before the breakup. When I found out I was so angry and wanted to contact ex to blow up (been 2.5months of NC now), but I figured what would be the point.
Kamila Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 (edited) Same here. about 3 years, us being our first loves. Living together in the dorms every year. Traveling the country many times... Ex gave every reason in the book. Then I find out ex was sleeping over with the new guy even before the breakup. When I found out I was so angry and wanted to contact ex to blow up (been 2.5months of NC now), but I figured what would be the point. My thought exactly. I also found out that not getting even with someone that hurt you is pointless. For the OP, I don't think my respect for my ex heightened with the break-up. We had a 'clean' break-up, but I don't want to look him in the eye ever again. I had to figure it all out while he was looking for the exit door. A lot of pain could have been avoided if he was more open to compromise. All I got was a 'sorry', but in the end, why did he apologize for ? Did he ever understand what he was apologizing for ? Edited April 9, 2012 by Kamila
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Which one? We had several over the course of a year. Each time one of us came crawling back to the other and we never really resolved the underlying issues even though we thought we did. That ended up leaving resentment and confusion that came out at the worst times. In the end I just had enough of her trust issues and off the charts insecurity, it just took too much of a toll. I still care about her and think about her a lot but have finally realized that we just can not work together. It's tough because we were very, very close. Out of all the relationships I have had I believe this was the most intense. Her response has been all over the place; first anger, then vindictive, then sorrow and "Can we try again" right back to "I hate you". Who knows where it is now, she left me no choice but to go NC as I cannot stay on the roller coaster anymore. *sigh*
Mr Scorpio Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 The first breakup wasn't exactly a suprise. I wasn't hearing what my ex was saying. She felt, correctly IMO, that she shouldn't have to tell me certain things. So she moved on and we went into NC. The second breakup also wasn't much of a suprise. She (same woman as above) started acting distant a few weeks after we got back together. Then she fell head-over-heels in love with someone she met on a dating-site while deciding whether or not to date me. I certainly felt "better" about the first episode, where she had a really good reason to leave. The second time? I just got played.
jen_r Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 AWFUL. First guy I ever loved. Moved in together after 4 months. After dating for a year, realized his family was going to be a MAJOR problem. And they WERE. Over bearing isn't the word to descirbe them. The next 3 years he dragged me along and used me while abusing me emotionally and treating me like complete *****. Then one day, sent me an email asking me to have a baby with him. WTF??? I said NO. And then he ignored me and blocked me and told me to move on. Yeah, he's a great guy. :-/
Philosoraptor Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I put my foot down against a controlling person and was told that she couldn't deal with me if I didn't make more changes. The changes that I had made already was giving up myself, family, friends, etc. Pretty much had to fit a mold and after almost 5 years I just didn't want to fit anymore. I was miserable and though it hurt at the start, I'm very thankful that I'm out of that mess. 1
robkris8079 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 my break up was short and too the point. She checked out emotionally a few weeks before, well probably longer but only showed it for few weeks. I realized this and asked questions during those weeks got no real answers. I realized that the person I had known and loved was no longer in love with me and this made me very unhappy. So told her I wasn't happy and obviously she wasn't happy so it's time to move on. Hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. But without a doubt in my mind it was the right thing.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I and my Ex ended our 11years relation by quarrel,abuse etc only by means of arguments.But some exes also end their relation by understanding and compromise due to religion,famil etc problems.And i think those exes live happily in this world,coz still they have the same respect,care for their beloved one.Guys,what about you? I have often said that if my ex was loving, sincere and kind and it simply didn't work out, we could be friends in the future when all feelings have dissipated. However...He was abusive, played mental games, called me horrendous names, slandered me to mine and his friends to make himself look good==some believed him, etc. I can't see myself ever speaking to him again. There is no point.
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I have often said that if my ex was loving, sincere and kind and it simply didn't work out, we could be friends in the future when all feelings have dissipated. See this is what confuses me; we were both loving, sincere and kind and even discussed what would happen if we werent together. But when it came down to it, no matter what I did or said she is convinced I am the Devil himself and is going out of her way to let the whole world know Nothing I can do abut and I try to not let it bother me, but it's not easy. I am taking the high road and refuse to bash her and will always be civil if we cross paths, but I don't know if I can say the same for her. 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 See this is what confuses me; we were both loving, sincere and kind and even discussed what would happen if we werent together. But when it came down to it, no matter what I did or said she is convinced I am the Devil himself and is going out of her way to let the whole world know Nothing I can do abut and I try to not let it bother me, but it's not easy. I am taking the high road and refuse to bash her and will always be civil if we cross paths, but I don't know if I can say the same for her. She doesn't sound very loving is she was saying those terrible things about you. She goes out of her way to talk negatively about you; this is not a very loving person. It sucks when there's nothing we can do about being slandered. Your true friends would scoff at her behavior and the things she says. The ones who believe her do not matter. I admire you for being civil should you cross paths. In my mind, I picture myself trying to be civil if we run into one another, but I know my stomach would be turning because he is disgusting. And, if she does these things to you, she will do it to someone else. Doesn't' sound like she is at peace with herself.
Phanpooh Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Break up is Break up there isn't just "break" that mean over! and just over, no real reason, dun let any stupid reason blame about your relationship there is nothing right or wrong, just people could take a pic without each other and then they not sure about take a rest of life together in relationship, you just love yourself when you are together, and if you don't, that called a Bad relationship... distance? emotional? what is a real reason? just don't want to be with you. Sometime, you could speak with a stranger but why you can't talk with you exes ? somebody that you used to know... cause in your mind, they r sth and you dun like that things or just they dun like your things bla bla bla, Relationship just like to "fart", if you force it much, you will get only SH ! T
Author mridul_chajilee Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 The rule of LOVE is same like You are suffering from SKIN DISEASE and you get very pleasure during itching and the same pleasure give you pain when it will produce wound at the itching area.
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