Headintheclouds Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Been awhile since I posted. Check my other threads for my history. This is more of an update for me. So much has happened since my ex and I moved out of our place. We were stuck there for a month living together after we broke up. Now I am in my new place. She is in hers. Today I just found out that she lives 6 short blocks from me. Were in NYC and we have the same train stop. There are good bars and restaurants in the neighborhood too. I really feel like I'm going to run into her any second. I haven't had any contact with her except for a couple texts that were related to giving her half of the security deposit back. I WILL have to contact her, or possibly see her to get the money to her. I've thought of everything I can to avoid contact. I may mail her a money order so I don't have to see her. I'm not looking forward to contacting her in any way. Right now I am still seeing the girl I talked about in my earlier thread. We met a week or so before my ex and I moved out. I have been honest with her and we have a good understanding. She knows that I am not capable or willing to be with anyone at the moment. She's a really great girl, but I can't stop comparing her to my ex. We do have a lot of fun, but when I'm not with her I don't think of her much… My mind is filled with thoughts of my ex. I miss my ex so bad. Even after all this time I feel that I really want to be back with her someday. I don't want to keep false hope. I know that if this breakup didn't happen, nothing in our relationship would have ever changed. I also know that if we ever did get back together, it would be a very different, better relationship. I have realized so many little things lately. So many things I could have done. So many ways I should have acted differently. So many little things that would have made our relationship better. I've been through LTR's in the past. When they ended there was good reason, and I felt like it was the end. This time I don't feel that way. Maybe I'm hanging on to something thats not there. I want to move forward but I'm finding it harder day by day. Everything I do I think of how my ex would enjoy it if she were there. The longer the NC goes on, the harder I find it to hold back from contacting her. Like I said, I know I will have to contact her this week. I really wish it were different. More than likely I'm going to have to see her. Anyways, I'm just venting. Without this message board and the support I've got from many of you, I would have never got through what I have so far.
lizardking8610 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Just hang in there...You're doing the right thing but going no contact I'm sure your gut agrees
NewYorker2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 HITC, Do you have a doorman? Does she? If so, text her that she can pick up the security deposit from your building on xyz day and just leave the check in an envelope with your doorman with her name on it. Otherwise, if she has a doorman, just drop a check off in an envelope there, and text her to tell her you did so. Good luck. Hang in there. And yes, NYC is actually a very small city when it comes to bumping into people. It does happen. Luckily, my ex doesn't live in the City so I don't have to worry much about that so much. If you see her out, just smile and nod and move on...as you said, there are plenty of other places you can go.
Author Headintheclouds Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 @NewYorker2012 I actually texted her today. Because of our schedules, I'm just going to mail her a money order. I won't have to see her. I really wouldn't have know how to act if I did. Anyways, you know how it is in this city. So many places to go and so many people yet you randomly run into people in the weirdest places. It's almost inevitable that I will see her around my neighborhood. I guess I'll address that if the time comes. In the meantime, I dodged the bullet of us meeting up. Back to NC, and back to my life. I'll get through this... As Winston Churchill once said, "If you're going through hell, keep going."
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