GHK Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 So me and my wife have been separated about 2 1/2 years now. I waited the 1 year period to file because we have children (standard for Va divorces), then filed, and my wife contested it because she wants money now that she doesn't have her gravy train. This has been extremely rough on me and we've tried to come to some kind of agreement just so I can be done with, and done with her (she cheated on me, which is why we separated in the first place). However, I think she's stalling, because due to me being in the military, she still gets benefits until we're divorced. I can't seem to get a straight answer out of my lawyer about when the courts are actually going to do something, either. I think it's nuts that I'm basically forced to stay married to this woman because she doesn't want the divorce, and wanted to contest it, even though she cheated. Is my lawyer just not doing what he needs to do to get it done? I just want this over with!! Where do I go from here?
Author GHK Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 I'm wondering how long it normally takes to get a divorce in Va. I read on the internet somewhere once that the average is 18 months from the date of filing, but that's all I've ever heard about it. I'm losing faith in my lawyer pretty quickly. I don't know if it's just his personality, the way he talks, or whatever, but it's nearly impossible to get a straight answer out of him about how long it takes, or what the court process is. I've thought about getting another lawyer, but that means even more $$$, and no guarantee that I'm better off. For all I know, I may have a great lawyer, then again, maybe he's the worst lawyer in all of the state, I just really don't know.
Author GHK Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Limbo, as far as I know. We had the pedente lite about a year ago, and that's the last time the courts had anything to do with it. My lawyer says mediation will be the next step, but when, I have no idea. We (me and the hopefully soon-to-be ex) came up with a settlement that we agreed on in December, so her lawyer is supposedly working on it. Very slowly, apparently! My lawyer went to her lawyer's office a couple of months ago though, and spoke to the assistant there, and she didn't know anything about an agreement.
Author GHK Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 I just spoke to my lawyer, and while my wife keeps claiming that her lawyer is working on a settlement agreement, there has been zero movement on her side. I asked my lawyer, well, when does the court move on it and take action? He told me never. He said the courts essentially let the parties handle it, and a divorce could drag on for 20 years (!) if the couple can't agree on a settlement. That can't possibly be right, can it?
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