somedude81 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 For some reason, I'm having a really hard time meeting single girls who actually want to date. I've met plenty of single girls who didn't want to date anybody. Either they were taking a break from men, just didn't want to date or whatever. Then for all intents and purposes those women were single, but unavailable. After spending a bunch of time chasing an unavailable woman, it's not something I want to do again. My whole problem is that I'm not meeting available women. The girls who are open to dating, already have boyfriends. It's as if single girls who want to date don't exist. And as soon as a single girl decides she wants to date, she gets snatched up right away. And I'm not one to poach a girl from her BF. Right now it seems that women who are single and want to date are grossly out numbered by the guys who are looking. I'm not really sure what to do.
cerridwen Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 *Hand up* On average, how many hours per week do you spend outside of the house, engaged in extracurricular activities that include women? Just an average.
NXS Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Travel to the Philippines, plenty of available women there.
iris219 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I've met plenty of single girls who didn't want to date anybody. Either they were taking a break from men, just didn't want to date or whatever. Then for all intents and purposes those women were single, but unavailable. After spending a bunch of time chasing an unavailable woman, it's not something I want to do again. Um...no. I've never met women like this. Even the rare ones who claim they want to be single will still date the right person.
Avarage Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 On average, how many hours per week do you spend outside of the house, engaged in extracurricular activities that include women? I spend probably around 15-20 hours if you count women being in the general vicinity of your activity as included. (you know, like they can see you from a 1/4 mile away or are just walking by) 1
prune juice Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Um...no. I've never met women like this. Even the rare ones who claim they want to be single will still date the right person. there's the rub. the right person could be a model with a six pack who is rich.
Author somedude81 Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 *Hand up* Oh, you're available cerri? On average, how many hours per week do you spend outside of the house, engaged in extracurricular activities that include women? Just an average. Oh you were just asking a question .... It's definitely not as much as in the past. Even back then I can't put a number hours on it. I was involved in a few campus clubs, on coed sports teams, in dance classes. There were even a good number of girls in my surfing class. But nothing ever came of them so I pulled back. Basically getting tired of being in a candy store when all the glass cases were locked tight and only ever getting a brief taste. I definitely want to start putting myself in more situations where women who actually want to date are around.
Author somedude81 Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Um...no. I've never met women like this. Even the rare ones who claim they want to be single will still date the right person. It's happened to me with at least five girls.
zengirl Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Date women who are already out of college. Staying single in college when you're an attractive, busty, long-haired, non-overweight girl who wants dates is never going to happen --- unless you're super super picky. That's just a truism. You're either going to catch such girls in a short window (where they're hung up on their exes anyway) or not at all. Even reasonably attractive girls find dates easily in college, if they want them, IME. Unless they have major complexes, which probably wouldn't mesh well with yours.
Author somedude81 Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Date women who are already out of college. Staying single in college when you're an attractive, busty, long-haired, non-overweight girl who wants dates is never going to happen --- unless you're super super picky. That's just a truism. And a subtle dig from Zengirl I do get what you are saying. Being single while wanting to date in college is just not going to happen. I've only actually met one girl in my school who was open to dating and didn't have a boyfriend. I got two dates with her then she did the fade. A glance on her Facebook showed that she was at least seeing three other guys at the same time. So where do I meet girls who are not in college?
xxoo Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Flirt whether she is looking to date or not. You may be the one to change her mind! WWDD? (what would Dust do? ) 3
xxoo Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 So where do I meet girls who are not in college? Where do you buy your clothes, shop for food, walk your dog? (get a dog) 1
Author somedude81 Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Flirt whether she is looking to date or not. You may be the one to change her mind! WWDD? (what would Dust do? ) A few friends of mine have said to flirt with everybody and just have fun. So that means even with the girls who I know are not available? Of course I can't actually get my hopes out that she'll come around. Been there, done that. Where do you buy your clothes, shop for food, walk your dog? (get a dog) Eh, that's all cold approaching, trying to hit on random girls. Many women on this forum have said that it just doesn't work.
zengirl Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 And a subtle dig from Zengirl Really didn't mean it to be a dig. It's just that it's very easy for most college-aged people to date while in college. Unless they are totally set up not to date for some reason. Some are people underneath your standards. Some are people with similar issues to you (which would be a good fit if you guys could ever find each other, but that seems to be hard to orchestrate). And the rest will get dates. I do get what you are saying. Being single while wanting to date in college is just not going to happen. I've only actually met one girl in my school who was open to dating and didn't have a boyfriend. I got two dates with her then she did the fade. A glance on her Facebook showed that she was at least seeing three other guys at the same time. So where do I meet girls who are not in college? Right. That's basically what I meant. For you, I'd suggest online, as well as in meetup groups and clubs (clubs as in groups that do things together not the "bam, bam, bam" music clubs).
jobaba Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Um...no. I've never met women like this. Even the rare ones who claim they want to be single will still date the right person. Too true... Date women who are already out of college. Staying single in college when you're an attractive, busty, long-haired, non-overweight girl who wants dates is never going to happen --- unless you're super super picky. That's just a truism. You're either going to catch such girls in a short window (where they're hung up on their exes anyway) or not at all. Even reasonably attractive girls find dates easily in college, if they want them, IME. Unless they have major complexes, which probably wouldn't mesh well with yours. I disagree. I've been on a major college campus over three distinct epochs of my life, including part time now. There are TONS of single girls. Everywhere I go on campus, I NEVER see dudes approach girls, which range from really hot to cute, to average. Yes, they probably meet guys through dorms and fraternities, but the girls who aren't into that and/or commute are wide open. The very hottest girls are probably taken, but that leaves TONS of average to cute girls. Of course, I'm WAY too old to be hitting on undergrads, and most grad students and I think SD is too. But he doesn't, so for his purposes, it's a goldmine.
verhrzn Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Here's all the places I've met single women out of college: book clubs, volunteering at a museum, volunteering at a historical reenactment center, volunteering at an animal shelter, any cardio or yoga class of any kind. You may also want to try the singles' groups on Meetup. Every group I've joined has had way more women attend (and they bring their friends, so as not to be lonely.) The only meet-up I've glanced at that showed more men than women was the Pathfinders group... so, uh, avoid table top gaming, I guess, and you'll find em. Fun fact: I went to the Pathfinder meeting, which was about 10-15 guys and about 5 women. The women were all the girlfriends/wives of guys in the group, and all but 1 of the guys had a girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband. Hurray for nerds, though this REALLY means my luck at finding single men is ungodly awful.
jobaba Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Here's all the places I've met single women out of college: book clubs, volunteering at a museum, volunteering at a historical reenactment center, volunteering at an animal shelter, any cardio or yoga class of any kind. You may also want to try the singles' groups on Meetup. Every group I've joined has had way more women attend (and they bring their friends, so as not to be lonely.) The only meet-up I've glanced at that showed more men than women was the Pathfinders group... so, uh, avoid table top gaming, I guess, and you'll find em. Fun fact: I went to the Pathfinder meeting, which was about 10-15 guys and about 5 women. The women were all the girlfriends/wives of guys in the group, and all but 1 of the guys had a girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband. Hurray for nerds, though this REALLY means my luck at finding single men is ungodly awful. Join a band, art classes, volunteering events, cocktail mixers ... there's many more. If you get out and about, you will meet single women. That's never been my problem. Getting them has been. But I think I've got the game figured out pretty good now (I always say that ).
xxoo Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 A few friends of mine have said to flirt with everybody and just have fun. So that means even with the girls who I know are not available? Of course I can't actually get my hopes out that she'll come around. Been there, done that. Yes! Just flirt. Get practice until it feels natural. Flirt with young and old, pretty and not pretty, married and single. Eh, that's all cold approaching, trying to hit on random girls. Many women on this forum have said that it just doesn't work. No! Not cold approach. Flirt with these women, and build rapport over 3-5 visits. Mention how those apples she recommended really worked out for you. Whatever! Just talk, flirt, and ask out after a few conversations.
cerridwen Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Join a band, art classes, volunteering events, cocktail mixers ... there's many more. If you get out and about, you will meet single women. That's never been my problem. Getting them has been. But I think I've got the game figured out pretty good now (I always say that ). All good ideas. Get out and spread yourself around, SD. It's the only way. Find a music store and take guitar classes. "Hey, cute girl from my guitar class who I always joke around with, want to go get coffee?" "Hey, cute grassroots activist I volunteer with, want to go get a vegan smoothie?" This is how it's done, SD 2
jobaba Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 All good ideas. Get out and spread yourself around, SD. It's the only way. Find a music store and take guitar classes. "Hey, cute girl from my guitar class who I always joke around with, want to go get coffee?" "Hey, cute grassroots activist I volunteer with, want to go get a vegan smoothie?" This is how it's done, SD Also be best friends with a handsome chap who has the social charisma of a loveable puppy dog. Although a lot of the women I dug ended up digging him instead, the amount of people and events I ended up taking in due to his invites more than made up for it. It's tough to go it alone. Jou needs a wingman bro! 1
123321 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 For some reason, I'm having a really hard time meeting single girls who actually want to date. I've met plenty of single girls who didn't want to date anybody. Either they were taking a break from men, just didn't want to date or whatever. Then for all intents and purposes those women were single, but unavailable. After spending a bunch of time chasing an unavailable woman, it's not something I want to do again. Well I have 2 in my house right now that are always looking for dates but can't seem to find anyone who's not a bum. 1
Imajerk17 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 You need to do what counterman does and get the stones to actually talk to girls you see around campus. Ive read your posts man. You got wit. No excuses.
mesmerized Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 All these single girls you meet are open to dating, just not with you.
reptilelover88 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Well I have 2 in my house right now that are always looking for dates but can't seem to find anyone who's not a bum. This has been my experience in college too, unfortunately. I would say I'm reasonably attractive and I have a couple of female friends who are very attractive (comfortable 9s). We're all outgoing and meet a lot of guys in many different places but we all really struggle to get dates. We find that men just don't ever seem to hit on us (except in nightclubs). If we do get hit on, the men invariably seem to just want sex. We really don't have very many options relationship-wise. There are lots of single and looking girls in college, believe me!
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