xxSRMxx Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 I need to do some work on myself due to the fact that my relationship has broken down because ive shown my bf that I can just be insecure and temperamental, I have a very negative outlook on life. I was thinking about therapy, Ive suffered some loss in life (my dad when i was 17, my older brother when i was 23) im 25 now, Ive never really addressed these issues...I also had a very bad relationship with a married man which destroyed alot of my confidence. Soo....I think its about time I sat down and aired all this out, because this is the reason by relationship has broken down. Has anyone gone down the therapy route?? would you reccomend it??
Life Person Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 I'm in therapy now and I recommend it if you can afford it. Therapy really can be good for anyone, everyone has problems, and sometimes (as it looks like in your case) they start having a toll on your well being after a while. It's not weak to look for therapy, it doens't mean you're bad, the brain is just like another organ, sometimes we can't fix the pain all by ourselves. Especially after many years of trying to cope with problems. Even if at first it doesn't work out, it may be just because you didn't click with the therapist, you can always go for a new one.
ScienceGal Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 It is definitely worth a try. I went to therapy for a short while and it helped me talk about what I was feeling, and the therapist asked me questions that I hadn't even thought of. I was able to make some good connections and understand a little more about myself and my decision making. Good luck.
darkmoon Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 (edited) money grabbers who should have the decency to give refunds if they do not hélp, and lord knows they charge alot, sometimes unjustifuably, you have every right and need to discuss your dersired outcome and they should be professional enough to get you in that direction, you're hiring them see Edited April 8, 2012 by darkmoon
TaraMaiden Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 well, this is purely from my own perspective but I tried 3 different therapists - and in the end, gave up. I must admit though, i bought so many "self-help" books my bookshelves nearly gave way.... So all in all, it really was a case of "Physician - heal thyself!" i think i did a fair job.....
Mr Scorpio Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I've gone through it several times with a few different people. For me, it never really made my issues "go away". I dont know whether the therapy helped or it was simply talking to someone that helped or if it was simply the passage of time that made each individual episode less painful. My advice? If you can afford it, go ahead and give it a shot. However, don't hold anything back. You have to commit to full disclosure. Otherwise, you won't be getting your money's worth.
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 I think I would like to give it a try.... I pretty much sometimes feel like this is online FREE therapy though! I feel like i sure could deal with some bereavement counselling, I had free counselling from the doctors but she sent me away with a tape, and that just annoyed me so i never saw her again. Ive got to the point where I feel like asking my dear mother to take my mobile phone and put it somewhere, so I wont find it for a few days, Im sick of looking at the dam thing!?
Mr Scorpio Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 IMO this is a form of therapy, and yeah it is free. Now, maybe I simply never found a therapist who was a good 'fit' for me, but I spent many hundreds of dollars having conversations with highly trained individuals that had little to no effect on my thought process, how I felt, etc. Some of these conversations had nothing to do with my condition at all. However, I am by nature a very introspective person, and felt like I had covered most of the angles that my therapists were coming from. Spending $800 to figure out that something just wasn't working for me? I'd rather take the $800 and spend $50 of it on drinks for myself and a good friend where I can hash out the same dialog. That being said, if you feel that you might benefit from it, or if you are in a really dark place, it might be worth a shot.
Exit Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 As others have said, it doesn't hurt to give it a try, regardless of what responses you get in this thread, you will have your own individual experience with it. I've dealt with depression for most of my life and hearing people tell me to "go talk to someone" has been a constant echo in the background for years now. After my last failed relationship, I finally gave in and said fine, I'll give it a try. Mind you I didn't go with some attitude like "I'm gonna prove that this doesn't work" or anything like that, I've been going since December and I've had no problem opening up to my therapist and telling her everything I can think of, but I have yet to really see any improvement. I'm the type of person who just isn't going to feel better until I'm ready to. Much of my therapy hasn't even related to talking about my last relationship, which is fine, I don't mind the focus being on getting the rest of my life back on track, and we keep hitting on all these different matters where the key issue seems to be my self esteem, and then it's like we lose momentum there, she hasn't really given me any new ideas on how to build myself up. I actually just had to switch insurance policies and I don't think I have mental health coverage anymore so I may be done going for now, but I don't see it as a big loss. It did not help me, but I've always felt my issues are not something that an hour a week of talking to someone is really going to fix.
carhill Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Has anyone gone down the therapy route?? would you reccomend it?? I call it adding tools to one's psychological toolbox. The more tools in the box, the easier it is to reach in and pull out the healthy one for the job. I spent some of my retirement on it back when I was married. IMO, at your young age, the potential value is even greater, since you'll have the tools far longer than someone like myself first getting them at nearly 50.
Nohbody Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I have found therapy to be a mixed bag, but very beneficial when you find a therapist with whom you are a good "match".
Forevergreen Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I'm in therapy at the moment due to my low self esteem, went straight into it after my break up, it's not the first time for me and probably won't be the last. As people have said its a mixed bag as to how you find the therapy your not going to find some wonder relief to your stress straight away, but it's good to talk to someone who is impartial to the reasons of the break up. I'm finding my hour session flies by and at the moment, TBH the only hour of my week where I can totally focus on talking.
fucpcg Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Two of my best girlfriends are mental health counselors, and I would have been totally lost without them this past year. I am a very strong person, very strong personality, I do not have self esteem or confidence issues, but when it comes to issues of the heart for whatever reason I'm about as strong as a wet tissue. Seeking out someone to help with dealing in issues relating to past life experiences, is not a display of weakness, if fact a show of strength, because it means that you are wise enough to acknowledge there are areas of yourself that you wish to address head on, vs bury or hide them. You cannot fix what you do not know is broken, and if you discover broken parts, you can fix much quicker and easier with the help of someone who specializes in those types of repair. I am beyond fortunate to have those friends previously mentioned in my life.
Clep Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 well, this is purely from my own perspective but I tried 3 different therapists - and in the end, gave up. I must admit though, i bought so many "self-help" books my bookshelves nearly gave way.... So all in all, it really was a case of "Physician - heal thyself!" i think i did a fair job..... I could have written this myself. I have a library of self help books. My spouse started going to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy a while ago and the difference in him is outstanding. He went to our family therapist that I started my son with years ago. I started going to see her recently and I too feel much better. I think it may have been finding the right person and she is definitely it.
radiodarcy Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 i enlisted a therapist when i was going through my darkest days with my now ex. but she was extremely pushy about getting me out of that relationship. which i wasn't ready to do and really didn't do until he dumped me. i probably could have used therapy during the 8 months i went NC. but for the most part i seemed to do well enough coming here and readiing other people's advice. in fact - - i think LS has helped me build up my self-esteem more than the 20 years plus therapy i've had over the years... but that's just me. each person is different. if you are ready to face your problems and feel that a therapist will help then by all means go.
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