macardent Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 (edited) Hi there, Just found this amazing site. Hoping for some help here. Sorry this is a bit long I just wanted to pour my heart out. So I started dating this girl about 7 months ago we were friends before. But anyways, we instantly connected normally I don't let anybody get close to my heart but this girl was different. She'd bus 2hrs just to see me for 3hrs. We were both crazy in love. We even planned on getting married and decided out kids names and how I am a little white and she is a little dark so the kids would be perfect tanned. I Would do anything for eachothe;however, I wasn't able to talk to her as much and see her as much due to work and school at the same time. Then all of a sudden she started being distant, saying stuff like I am acting like her ex and being possessive. Anyways one night we went to this formal and one of my friends(not a very good friend) told me he grinded with her in a club before we started dating she had left before that. So she called me later that night I asked her she said yes I was drunk and he was being very nice and I don't care, I said I don't either and hung up. Two minutes later I texted I can't be with you anymore I am sorry. She called me back 3 minutes later saying she didn't call to ask me to take her back but when she said idc she meant idc about what that guy said. I asked her to come back and I love her and I said was sorry. She said let's sleep on it and we didn't talk after that. When I called her 2days later she said she needs time. And then 2 days ltr I was possessive again. she brokeup with me and said if we could just be friends. And she doesn't want a relationship, I went NC after that. She called me back 2days later to see how I was doing I was busy so I said I am doing fine and I'll talk to you tomorrow. I called her back a day later and asked her to come back and she said no, I begged her to come back. but she was kind of hinting I might try to be more understanding but then she changed the topic to being friends again(but I think here sisters were around they are guiding her and everything, she even said when I told my sister I broke up with you she said good job), then I said okay i'll just hangup then have a good life she wouldn't let me hangup and said we can talk until her battery dies, we were talking again and I asked her for the reason why she broke up again, she says omg its like we cried all night and nobody listened and then she said okay i can i please go an pee, I said okay please call me back. She never did and when I called her after two hours she didn't pick up(It was about 3am) I was so mad I texted her u are a slut for sleeping with a guy doing soo much for him that he fell in love with you and now u wana breakup because u don't wan a relationship, you can't turn a hoe into a housewife, your ex learned that( I have no idea why I said all that, I do love her I know deep down in my heart I haven't slept in like 46hrs). She called back and asked me to say it in person I did and she started crying and saying I knew there was a man like that inside of you and I am glad I am not with you anymore. I can never forget that cry. I texted her the next day saying: I am sorry I don't know why I did what I did. And you made the right decision of leaving me. I don't deserve you someone better than me does. She never replied. 4 days later I called at 1:43 am and she said who is this(she doesn't have a caller ID) I said its me, she is like what do you want and hung up. I called again she picked up right away, I said I am sorry please forgive me. She said I forgave you the moment you said those things to me, I took a shower right away cried and thanked god that I made the right decision of leaving you. You are a bad person. And I asked her why did you leave me? She said because You didn't standup to your friend when he was talking **** about me. I said he didn't say anything like that to my face I heard it from other people (which is true my other friends told me that he was going around and telling people) but anyways. She said I don't respect you as a person anymore, I don't want to know you please don't call me again I want to change my number but I have it on my resumes that I gave out. I said okay. Bye she said Bye and we hung up. I texted her later that night saying this is the last: I just wanted to say I m not a bad person, it just happened. I wanted to marry you one day. Maybe one day you'll be able to forgive me fully, maybe one day you'll fall in love with me again, maybe one day you'll see me the way you did or maybe I become a better person one day not now maybe in 5 , 10 , 15 years. And I will wait for that day for the rest of my life. I loved you, still do, and always will forever<3. I will never change my number. * I will never text/call you again ** She kept asking me if i am bi-polar I somewhat have multiple personalities but its not that bad. So yesterday I called that guy up and gave him a talk, he got so scared he kept denying even mentioning her name. I said okay whatever man just don't say anything about her ever again. He said okay. Him and her have mutual friends I don't know if she is going to find that out or not. But I didn't do it for the purpose of her knowing about it, I just did it because I felt bad inside. Will she ever come back Im being NC for now and I want to keep like that until she contacts me even if she doesn't i'll heal somehow. I deeply love her with all my heart and really want her back in my life. And when she does contact me back how do you think I should respond? Any advices? past experiences? anything to help? Please ladies and gentleman I would really really appreciate it . Thanks:) Edited April 8, 2012 by macardent
Nohbody Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 She may. She may not. No one knows the future. The best chance is to maintain No Contact and work on yourself. And you may find that if and when she comes back you don't want her. Or maybe you'll find out that you do want her, but that it doesn't matter. 1
Author macardent Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 thanks for your advice. that helps a bit
flitzanu Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 did i read this correctly that you dumped her because she danced with another guy?
Author macardent Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 I was pissed because she acted like she didn't care. But yeah you are right mate it looks like I dumped her for that. i am an idiot.
LasVegasGuy Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 (edited) The answer is technically (YES) being through this before and seeing this a thousand times on LS has made me a guru in this topic. I rarely have seen a ex NOT attempt a comeback, even if they dumped you, (assuming that it was real emotion and not just a fling) but even when that happens most of the time you don't want them back. Why?? You grew to resent them. You are over them. You find someone else. Something about them turns you off, kids, looks and etc. However I would not recommend you waiting around for that, this can drive you crazy, go NC, start dating again slowly, and if the option presents it self you can take it into consideration. If the option does not present it self you won't care anyways. Edited April 13, 2012 by LasVegasGuy
Author macardent Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 Thanks a lot, I did make a mistake of contacting her. I even said i'll come back in two years and marry you when i am stable in life. She said she doesn't want to give me false hopes but she hates me as a person and I am a natural *******. She even said that why don't you get the message dude I don't wan a talk to you. I came on too needy and desperate. She was a bit jealous since she brought some girl's name saying why are you calling me? is she too busy to talk to you?.. Its sad it hurts. I don't love her anymore but my self-esteem is gone down the gutter. Any advice on how to boost it up? I recently became a president of this organization so it helps a bit. Thank You guys.
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