dagogrl13 Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 (edited) I was with my bf for 15 months. The relationship had its rough patches like all relationships do. When I met him he told me he was going through a divorce and that his ex as he referred to her as still lived with him. As time went on I didn't hear much about it so naturally I began to question the situation. I even went as far as going to the court house to try and find his divorce record. In the meantime I was never worried about or doubted that he wasn't still with or being intimate with her. Early in Jaunary he told me the truth. That at one point they were working on an agreement but then he lost his job and didn't continue the process. I was devestated that he lied for so long after having numerous chances to come clean, but was willing to forgive him. We have never had a history of physical violence. He's pushed me twice but didn't hurt me and I wasn't scared of him. I grew up with an older bro who though I was his younger brother and would constantly fight with me. Back to my point, my bf would always tell me how when I drink I get angry. Well I guess over the last few months I also started to become mean when I would drink. Probably from harboring negative feelings towards him who knows. On super bowl Sunday we got into a pretty bad physical altercation. I hurt him pretty bad. I know it wasn't right. I expressed my understanding on how I know I was wrong and he said he knew it was his fault BC he lied and I'm angry. He recently filled for his divorce and his ex see's the lawyer tomorrow but he broke up with me. He said it was BC he is afraid he's going to hurt me if I start an argument with him and I become mean how I do when I drink. He said he doesn't want to end up in jail and has to be around for his dad(he was arrested once before with his ex I guess when he was 25-26 he's going to be 38 April 12) he proceed to tell me that he doesn't know if I will ever hit him again and that he can't put himself in those types of situations. I just don't understand if he forgave me than why is this happening? Things have been distant the last week but when I spoke to him Wednesday I told him I would work out my anger issues by seeking outside help. He told me that he felt like things were closing down. We spoke about marrisge in the past but he said he doesn't know if he ever wants to live with me or get re-married.His ex was starting to pack, us arguing and he owes on his taxes. When he broke it off last night he confirmed that him leaving me had nothing to do with his divorce and that its BC he can't deal with my anger or be put in situations that he may hurt me. I just don't understand. I would've done anything to help. I already miss him and it hasn't even been 24 hours. Edited April 8, 2012 by dagogrl13 spelling errors
Mr Scorpio Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 We have never had a history of physical violence. He's pushed me twice but didn't hurt me and I wasn't scared of him. I grew up with an older bro who though I was his younger brother and would constantly fight with me. Back to my point, my bf would always tell me how when I drink I get angry. Well I guess over the last few months I also started to become mean when I would drink. Probably from harboring negative feelings towards him who knows. On super bowl Sunday we got into a pretty bad physical altercation. I hurt him pretty bad. When he broke it off last night he confirmed that him leaving me had nothing to do with his divorce and that its BC he can't deal with my anger or be put in situations that he may hurt me. I just don't understand. I would've done anything to help. I already miss him and it hasn't even been 24 hours. I'm sorry to hear about the pain you are experiencing in this situation. However, you a contradicting yourself my dear. Him pushing you and you hurting him equals physical violence. Physical violence equals a bad situation for everyone involved. There is a lot of power behind the reasoning he is giving you. If the two of you got into an altercation and he did hurt you, he very-well could be hauled off to jail. That could in turn hurt his relationship with his family, prevent him from getting a job, etc. You say that you would have done anything to help? Start by helping yourself and addressing your anger issues. Maybe there can be a future for the two of you if you work on you first!
Author dagogrl13 Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 I just don't understand why he wasn't willing to work through it. I mean maybe I shouldn't be selfish and take into consideration that he's starting to go through a divorce and it may be difficult on him even though he said its not bothering him. I just feel thrown away. If he loves and cares about me so much why couldn't we work through things together? Am I being to hard on myself? Its only been a day.
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