cherries1 Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 I am the dumper. I said I needed time to see how I felt because my feelings are very confused and unclear. A boring/monotonous relationship lead me into a case of GIGS (missing the single life and going out with friends even tho I don't want to date or sleep around)/commitment issues. He texts me saying that whenever I decide if I love or not love him, I should tell him. But I CAN'T say anything at the moment, my head is such a mess. Should I answer the text? I've read around and it does take a long time for GIGS to go away... I don't want him to hang in there forever, I feel awful, but I still picture my future next to him at times... I'm very confused....
Mr Scorpio Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Well, if you were to text him, what would you say? That you still aren't sure what your answer is, but that you don't want him waiting around? If your feelings for him were never that strong, then that might be a good thing to say. Otherwise, I would try to do some soul searching. How old are you? How big is this circle of friends? I ask because once you reach a certain age, and your friends start getting married/having children, that circle will shrink. You can interpret that two ways (at least): go out and life the single life now because it won't always be there, or figure out how to make a relationship not so monotonous so that when the right guy comes along, you won't get more GIGS.
perryb13 Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 I am the dumper. I said I needed time to see how I felt because my feelings are very confused and unclear. A boring/monotonous relationship lead me into a case of GIGS (missing the single life and going out with friends even tho I don't want to date or sleep around)/commitment issues. He texts me saying that whenever I decide if I love or not love him, I should tell him. But I CAN'T say anything at the moment, my head is such a mess. Should I answer the text? I've read around and it does take a long time for GIGS to go away... I don't want him to hang in there forever, I feel awful, but I still picture my future next to him at times... I'm very confused.... As a guy, I can tell you that if you answer him but you're not sure, you will just give him false hope. If you broke up with him, there was probably a reason (although some couples break up multiple times because they just don't know how to fix something that they're fighting about, leading to many silly small breakups). If you're not sure of your feelings, don't text him yet. Girls have done this to me and given me false hope, and trust me it hurts. Give it some time. If you decide that you still do care about him, then talk to him ONCE YOU'RE SURE. Until then, just give it some time. You both may find that it was for the better, even though it doesn't seem like it now.
flitzanu Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 yeah. stop with the confused with life story and just tell him you're breaking up with him. saying anything other than that is going to give him false hope. and then stop talking to him. you want a break, that doesn't mean you keep him as a friend right now. 1
ItsJustTheWayItIs Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 I'm sure you not trying to be selfish....but you are being selfish. It doesn't always matter what you want, but what is best for you both. He matters too. If you want out....then that is fine there is nothing wrong with you cutting ties and moving on. The big 'BUT' is that if you don't know what YOU want YOU should not make HIM suffer for YOUR indecision......let him go and find someone that will love him and want him the way he deserves and the way you deserve also. It seems that everyone these days (not just you OP, I've done it too) doesn't care about anything but what feels good to them. Hell with the other person. Good luck and I hope you do the right thing. 2
devilmaycare Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Texting is a very uncertain world. Many things can be misconstrued. If you really care at all for this person, make it a point "talk it out" IN PERSON. If HE cares for YOU, or you care for HIM, it will come out in a REAL conversation. Texting schemxting.
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