zengirl Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 How much looks matter, particularly for a man, depends on what else you have to offer and what you're going for. Of course looks matter some! But having SOMETHING else to offer matters more to many women. Confidence is not a magic bullet, but the severe lack of confidence will torpedo any chances you have.
jobaba Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 women can see through that. fake confidence isn't good. physics doesn't chage. women are moving targets and complienting one will get you sex and complimenting another will creep her out big time. How? Alcohol, drugs, hookers? Repeatedly saying, I am the prize? Just be conscious of it, that's all. Don't self-deprecate or say things or do things that scream self-doubt. Be bold and assertive. Even if you feel like you really have no chance with the girl, tell yourself you do. It might not work, but the opposite wussy approach definitely won't work.
verhrzn Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 If that keeps happening, then your approach or conversation topics are completely off. If it makes you feel any better, I never had random girls approach or start conversations with me. It's only been friends or coworkers that I know have BF's or don't want to date. Or... guys just aren't interested. At the end of the day, I am who I am, and if that means guys aren't interested, they're just not. I can't make people be attracted to me. I'm just saying that the guys who never get girls seem to fail to notice when a girl is interested, and spend all of their attention chasing after the Ideal Girl. That's a recipe for heartache no matter how attractive the guy is otherwise.
january2011 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 what must mr average have? Something more than looks.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Confidence is nothing more than a winner's mentality, the belief that no matter how much work it takes, eventually you will succeed. I've dated some guys with pretty significant weak points over the past year or so, but some of them still carried themselves with full confidence. Even if they did something stupid or revealed a flaw, they didn't insult themselves over it, apologize for it. They acknowledged the weakness and moved on to focus on a strength. Everyone can benefit from being relaxed and self-assured like this. Like I said, I've been trying it out lately, and it really is like magic. 3
Necris Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Maybe you guys DID have girls interested in you, and you never noticed. I need two hands to count the number of times in the last few months I've struck up a conversation with a guy who I thought was cute/interesting, only for it to descend into the guy complaining how the hot girls don't notice him, how girls only want jerks, etc. Um, hello, flesh and blood female TALKING to you?! But maybe cause I'm not a "top shelf" girl, I don't count. *Gives up* That's wierd. Now I can only speak for myself but women never actually approach me and when I say women I don't mean just the "hot" girls, I mean no girls at all unless they want something from me. There does exist the slight possiblilty girls have been trying to give me non-verbal cues but I feel retarded when it comes to understanding body language especially those of women so I won't be able to pick it up or interpret it correctly.
kaylan Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 We all know looks matter. When a man or woman tells someone of the opposite sex thats its not the most important thing, they are being truthful. They just leave out the part about looks still being pretty damn important though. Meh. We arent children hear....we know physical attraction is very important to both men and women. /thread
AD1980 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Maybe you guys DID have girls interested in you, and you never noticed. I need two hands to count the number of times in the last few months I've struck up a conversation with a guy who I thought was cute/interesting, only for it to descend into the guy complaining how the hot girls don't notice him, how girls only want jerks, etc. Um, hello, flesh and blood female TALKING to you?! But maybe cause I'm not a "top shelf" girl, I don't count. *Gives up* I can honestly say a random women has never approached me and struck a random covnersation or done anyhting that i can even interpret as hitting on me and believe me asa guy whos 31 and never been with a women ill look for any little sign as hope..
jobaba Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I can honestly say a random women has never approached me and struck a random covnersation or done anyhting that i can even interpret as hitting on me and believe me asa guy whos 31 and never been with a women ill look for any little sign as hope.. I know you didn't mean that to be funny, but... LOL! :lmao:
ThaWholigan Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Looks don't matter if you think you're good looking
gotye Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 pssh, face? more like body for me i am so a body girl, if a guy's face is ok but his body is hooottt i will be all over that like a fat kid on a smartie
sid3 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 pssh, face? more like body for me i am so a body girl, if a guy's face is ok but his body is hooottt i will be all over that like a fat kid on a smartie Really, so girls use the brown bag theory as well? Interesting!
ScreamingTrees Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I've never seen a socially awkward guy get a ton of women no matter how good looking he was. I've seen some pretty boring and snooze worthy guys get a lot of women because they were attractive though. Girls would laugh at material like “why did the chicken cross the road” when it came from their mouths. They do need a minimum level of social competency. The real truth is that most guys who don't get women don't really want them. There are just as many hideous women out there as there are hideous guys, no excuse for not being with someone because of your looks. Well, if a guy's only problem is not being a suave pimp, I don't see how "settling" for someone he's not attracted to is doing either him or the girl a favor. It's not, and it'll solve nothing and only hurt them. There is an excuse. Someone isn't going to be with someone with whom there's no physical attraction. It's called a "friend".. hence the "friend zone", I guess. As long as the guys aren't complaining about having **** luck, I don't see why you should feel that they SHOULD go for the girls that they're not attracted to. They have to spend a looong time with that person. Whether or not each individual can bring what they need to the relationship to get what they're looking for, that's another story.
verhrzn Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I can honestly say a random women has never approached me and struck a random covnersation or done anyhting that i can even interpret as hitting on me and believe me asa guy whos 31 and never been with a women ill look for any little sign as hope.. Well women aren't just gonna cold-approach you. In my case, in each situation I'd be in a group with the guy... like, there'd be a circle of people having a conversation. I would join the group, include myself in the conversation, and after a while, make some side remark to the guy. He'd then side-remark back, and the conversation would go from there. Have you ever tried this kind of approach on a woman?
SJC2008 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Looks, for the most part do matter. The vast majority of couples walking around are pretty much in the same league, regardless what it is. How often do you see a couple and say "how the hell did he pull her"? Not often for me, same applies for the opposite. There was an interesting article on the internet saying the most successful couples were where the woman was slightly better looking then the man. I don't remember the reasoning for it and how solid the evidence was but it was a pretty interesting article. Who needs the stress of having a way better looking so anyway? I don't want to walk on eggshells everyday thinking my gal is gonna leave me for some hot guy.
ScreamingTrees Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Well women aren't just gonna cold-approach you. In my case, in each situation I'd be in a group with the guy... like, there'd be a circle of people having a conversation. I would join the group, include myself in the conversation, and after a while, make some side remark to the guy. He'd then side-remark back, and the conversation would go from there. Have you ever tried this kind of approach on a woman? I think I've tried this before, never led to anything. And if a girl asked me a question or something, I'd just answer her, usually nothing would result from it and I wouldn't think anything of it. I find it odd that every dude you randomly talk to somehow starts to use you as their emotional tampon.. I can't imagine any normal guy just dumping his problems finding "hot women" on some random girl, no matter her attractiveness. 1
lizardking8610 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I don't consider myself that attractive (pic to the left) and I have no problem getting women, for the most part, keeping them is another story.
Mr Frisky Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I disagree. I'm average-looking. But I get women. I know plenty of average-looking guys who get women. I'm still pretty much the nerd I was from high school. I had girls who liked me in high school. Gaining confidence with women is similar to gaining skills in other things. It's like learning how to write, learning how to drive a car, or gaining computer skills to navigate the internet and use Microsoft Office. When you first started, you were bad at it and had no confidence. You made several mistakes. But you kept at it and eventually you became good at it enough for you to gain confidence in your skills. It's the same with meeting women. When you first start approaching them, you suck at it and have no confidence. You'll deal with many rejections. Eventually, you'll gain confidence in it. You guys SERIOUSLY need to get over this "only guys who have xyz physical attributes get women" complaining. It's getting tiresome. Excellent trolling mr Oxymoronowhateveryournameis.Well played,sir.
Mr Frisky Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 You haven't been paying attention to my posts have you? In my entire life, I knew of three girls. All three were obese and I ended up 'dating' one for two weeks, no sex. That was the only 'relationship' I've ever had, only girl I've kissed and so on. Of course he has been paying attention to your posts. He's been trolling you for the last week or so.
Author Necromancer Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Good looks gives you more options and faster attraction. This doesn't mean every girl will sleep with you, or that non good looking guys can never get a girlfriend. You will all so be treated better by people, laughed at your jokes even if they weren't funny. 1
Author Necromancer Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Excellent trolling mr Oxymoronowhateveryournameis.Well played,sir. haha! nice one.
verhrzn Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I think I've tried this before, never led to anything. And if a girl asked me a question or something, I'd just answer her, usually nothing would result from it and I wouldn't think anything of it. I find it odd that every dude you randomly talk to somehow starts to use you as their emotional tampon.. I can't imagine any normal guy just dumping his problems finding "hot women" on some random girl, no matter her attractiveness. Well... you need to answer it, and then ask HER a question. I mean, if she's asking you a question, then obviously she's interested in a conversation with you, correct? For my situation, it usually results from me trying to lead up to if they're single... I'll ask some relationship-revealing questions, which will usually lead into them admitting they are single, which will then lead into them dropping some comment about how single women are hard to find, or too picky, or only like jerks, etc. There IS another type of guy I run into, and that's the guy that's convinced he can get ANY girl. Like, he assumes every girl wants him. He'll flirt with me for an ego rub, and then ditch the conversation to go make out with the hottest single girl at the party. Or, the guy just ignores me. Or is friendly with me but has a gf. I don't really count those.
Author Necromancer Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Looks don't matter if you think you're good looking No, creating your own reality only works up to a point. You will get to know how good looking you are by people....from their reactions. 1
ThaWholigan Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 No, creating your own reality only works up to a point. You will get to know how good looking you are by people....from their reactions. Speak for yourself, in my reality I'm a sexy beast
Recommended Posts