Got back tgether with ex, how to tell him gently I don't trust him enough to have sex

[daniellasugar]

Hi there.

I just sort of got back together with my ex...broke up more than 6 months ago, got back a few weeks ago.

 

Reason for breaking up: We were two-year long distance, which led to him acting cold after some months and finally cheating on me. I was devastated and broke up with him, but we kept quite frequent contact (sometimes he called first, sometimes me) and we’re still ok. He also told me on many occasions how much he missed me and he still has feelings for me. I got back on my own life, had fun, had a fling.

 

 

 

Recently he told me they weren’t as perfect as he had hoped after all, and he realized he took her as his girl because he was lonely without me, a fact he didn’t know at that time. Now he wanted me back and apologized for being an idiot. Long story short, I agreed to try for a second chance, after much consideration. He was happy and things went well between us. I’m not sure if the other girl is still friends with him though.

 

 

Anyway it has been a few weeks now, and he has started asking me about sexual stuff. Not actual sex, I had been very adamant that I want to wait until a few years later. But he started to ask me whether we could do other sexual acts, which I had let him do some, and also took some sexy photos before the cheating happened. How do I tell and explain to him that I can’t do all these things that I had done before now? He couldn’t understand why I still don’t trust him after a few weeks. Maybe I’m paranoid, but it’s hard for me to trust him that deep enough again, it would take more time. He’s hurt and thinks I don’t want him sexually, but it’s not that. Any opinions or ideas? Please help

[black_shemer]

,i cant blame u for not trusting him.if i were u i would definitely tell him to his face what is the exact reason why u dont want to do the stuffs u did before.

 

once trust is broken,it will come back but not as much as it was used to be.

 

But i dont think its cool having sex wid ur bf.

[Where's My Chippy]

If you want to continue being with him, just tell him you want to take it slow.

 

But you may want to re-evaluate whether or not you truly want to be with him again. Not being able to trust him is a red flag.

[ThatDudeXO]

Think the best way to do it is to start off fresh. A new page. A new relationship. Don't view it as going back to the old relationship which obviously didn't work out but you have good enough chemistry to work it out.

 

You will have to tell him it's a new relationship all together, so you will have to start all over again while learning from your old mistakes, which means that he will have to earn your trust and love before taking it to the next level, like any new relationship. So taking it slow is a must.

 

If he doesn't want to take it slow and isn't happy with a new fresh start, then he isn't that invested in your relationship so you should just move on.

[NXS]

I don't know any guy who'd wait a few years before having sex, he's eventually going to feel that he's being strung along and get resentful. I've never cheated but if it was me I'd want something more tangible than when you've regained your "trust". That just sounds too vague.

[TaraMaiden]

I really don't get why on earth you think it's a good idea to be back together...!

 

Am I missing something??

 

What the hell are you thinking - ?!?