Lostlynn18 Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 (edited) Ok so I started dating this girl I met threw a mutual friend last year around June. I fell quickly for her and thought she did for me too.. I have trust issues bc I've been screwed over in the past, and things with this girl started getting shady really fast, and she was going threw my phone for no reason. But she was very good at making me believe otherwise with her lies but I always had a bad gut feeling. We were in a long distance relationship till about mid September when I decided to call it quits bc I was sick of the lies and being in another state feeling like crap. We still kept in contact but never visited each other until mid October we decided to meet up to talk and watch a game together. Then that led to us hanging out again and again. We started dating again mid November and have been together since. I was still hurt by how she treated me the first time we dated but she never really explained how she acted and I think I really needed her to. My walls have been up and I told her if I feel like she's not being honest with me then I'm done, I'm not going thru that again. We have been together since and things have been feeling great till I did something stupid. She forgot to sign off on Facebook on my computer and I was looking for answeres bc she wouldn't tell me. Turns out she cheated on me for a good month with two different girls in August/September. And kept in contact with them till about mid december. Worse then I thought. Now I'm stuck and lost.I'm do disgusted with her, and I told her that I read her messages and she keeps saying how sorry and bad she messed up and she realized that and that's why she needed to fix the mistake she made with our relationship the first time and how great we are now. As bad as I want to believe her it sucks and is hard.. I am mad at myself for snooping bc that's not me but I didn't want to read what I saw.. I was angry at first, Now I'm just disgusted in her. I feel like I don't know her true character. I'm sorry for the improper use of paragraphs and how long this is. I just need some advice I don't want to get hurt again.. Thank you for your time. If you feel I left anything out you can ask me and I'll respond. Thanks again Edited April 8, 2012 by Lostlynn18 Spelling error in title. Forgot a word
Mr Scorpio Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Personally, I could understand maintaining a long-distance relationship that was rewarding. I could maybe see trying to patch up an often toxic relationship that had the chance to be fulfilling. But a toxic long-distance relationship? That would just be too much. Too hard to trust a person who has cheated when they are hundreds of miles away. I'd break off the relationship and go no-contact while you heal. Then, if/when you're ready, start looking local.
jennisfora Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 i'm sorry you are hurting, sounds like she wasn't who you thought she was. if you want to salvage things, maybe you can see if she would be willing to do counseling with you? in an effort to rebuild the trust. the fact she didn't tell you, but kept it hidden,and then you needed to find it out that way. that's harsh. if you can't get the trust back, then the relationship is over, you need that to keep it going, or it will drive you crazy. *hugs*
jennisfora Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 oh yeah, i forgot it was long distance...yeah, not sure you can repair that. trust is lost it is hard to regain, and you will go nuts wondering who she is with, when. I think NC and ending it would be the best option, sorry. *hugs*
Author Lostlynn18 Posted April 8, 2012 Author Posted April 8, 2012 Thanks so much.. I've been driving myself absolutely bonkers since I've met her and been dating her bc I knew I was right all along with the lies and gut feeling but then when she made me thing otherwise and then come to find out I was right, I just keep beating myself up. She thinks everything is ok right now after me finding this stuff out, when she didn't have the decency to tell me. I'm everything but ok. She wants to talk, and I don't want to talk to her or hear her voice. She wants to come here tomorrow, and I sure as heck can't look at her with how disgusted I am. I'm just so hurt that i don't know who her true character is. And that I have been getting so much hell for my not trusting issues after being together for awhile.. Well hmm wonder why!? I'm not stupid.. But apparently she thinks so.. Idk :-/
whichwayisup Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Always listen to your gut. Bottomline, she lied to you, played some games. Deep down you knew something wasn't right, but gave her a chance to see how things would go by getting back together. It's not working, she lied, cheated and hid the truth from you. Trust is gone, if there was any to begin with. Can't live on love/lust.. Sorry you're hurting.
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