Yare Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 I have tried the OLD thing..and I met two potential guys which I dated for months...I find that the guys I have met on the OLD site only communicate through text...In 3 months I only received one call from one of this guys, and the other one just texts...I find this very annoying, I even discussed this with one of them, and he still texting..I dropped both of them like two hot potatoes. Is this normal for men on the dating sites to only communicate this way...I give up!
january2011 Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Could be a generational thing rather than an OLD thing. My guy (met on OKCupid) hates texting as much as I do.
MrCastle Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 why is texting so awful? at least they're communicating. you didn't drop them just for this alone, right?
Pierre Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 I have tried the OLD thing..and I met two potential guys which I dated for months...I find that the guys I have met on the OLD site only communicate through text...In 3 months I only received one call from one of this guys, and the other one just texts...I find this very annoying, I even discussed this with one of them, and he still texting..I dropped both of them like two hot potatoes. Is this normal for men on the dating sites to only communicate this way...I give up! Texting is less personal and you do not get to hear the feel of the words they say. This is important because they may be lying. If they are handling several dates at a time they can write the text and send it simultaneously to several women.
turt Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 I have tried the OLD thing..and I met two potential guys which I dated for months...I find that the guys I have met on the OLD site only communicate through text...In 3 months I only received one call from one of this guys, and the other one just texts...I find this very annoying, I even discussed this with one of them, and he still texting..I dropped both of them like two hot potatoes. Is this normal for men on the dating sites to only communicate this way...I give up! I've experienced the same except with women.
PhillyDude Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 why is texting so awful? at least they're communicating. you didn't drop them just for this alone, right? You can't connect with someone over texting that's why
Andy_K Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Connecting is what you do on dates, when you're not out together texting is a convenient way to stay in touch at times that are convenient to you without the hassle of having to schedule in phonecalls when you're both free
PhillyDude Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Connecting is what you do on dates, when you're not out together texting is a convenient way to stay in touch at times that are convenient to you without the hassle of having to schedule in phonecalls when you're both free Convenient my ass, if someone can take the time to types paragraphs into a phone then then call just call and talk. You it's convenient for someone who dates 33 people at one time
SJC2008 Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 I have tried the OLD thing..and I met two potential guys which I dated for months...I find that the guys I have met on the OLD site only communicate through text...In 3 months I only received one call from one of this guys, and the other one just texts...I find this very annoying, I even discussed this with one of them, and he still texting..I dropped both of them like two hot potatoes. Is this normal for men on the dating sites to only communicate this way...I give up! Texting is impersonal IMO and should only serve as a convenience. That being said you have to lay the ground work that you prefer phone communication because in the texting era many men and women will be text heavy. If he leaves you a message saying he wants to get together on such a day, CALL HIM and don't accept via text like the last woman I dated. Answering your phone when possible will help too. The last woman I dated answered her phone 2/6 times so I almost had no choice but to text. You communicated to one of the men you were dating that you preffered phone calls, he didn't reciprocate and got what he deserved!!! 1
GetTheClou Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 there is no "instruction set" for me. You need to go with the flow and find a communication that suits both needs. This might involve both forms of texting (smartphone, facebook) and phone calls. Sometimes either of us would just drop a message per day to keep in touch, sometimes one would just call and we end up 2 hours on the phone. Frankly, when dating I don't have the nerves nor the time to spend so much time on the phone EVERY DAY. Multi-dating is probably another story but I never did this. Btw, if someone only answers the phone 2/6 times I would consider this as either a general communication problem or a lack of interest. 1
Andy_K Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Convenient my ass, if someone can take the time to types paragraphs into a phone then then call just call and talk. You it's convenient for someone who dates 33 people at one time Phonecalls require you both to be free at the same time. Texts can be sent when one of you is busy If you work days & she works evenings, or you both have various gym classes in the evening, have to drive somewhere, or have other things going on in your spare time, it can be pretty awkward to find a time you're both free to talk. The evenings where you are both free, you might as well be on a date.
PhillyDude Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Phonecalls require you both to be free at the same time. Texts can be sent when one of you is busy If you work days & she works evenings, or you both have various gym classes in the evening, have to drive somewhere, or have other things going on in your spare time, it can be pretty awkward to find a time you're both free to talk. The evenings where you are both free, you might as well be on a date. On a date every evening I'm free? I'm going to the toilet-lol
Author Yare Posted April 8, 2012 Author Posted April 8, 2012 (edited) The thing is that these men only communicate with me via text..even when they cancel dates this is their way of doing it..I feel like there is no effort or no genuine interest if they feel that this is the only way they can talk to me...Of course I go with the flow and text back..One time I called one of them, the day after hanging out and he kind of cut the convo short, so I never called him again. The funny thing is that they keep texting to plan dates with me...and is been over three months..Sometimes days pass by before I get a text from them...It is impersonal..I hate talking on the phone myself, but if you hang out with someone for about 3 months, a call here and there even to say hi won't hurt..and if you need to cancel a date is much better to hear from you, rather than a text that say.."Oh I don't think I'm gonna make it out tonite"...So I decided to ignore the texts from now on...and move on. Obviously you do not like me enough if you can't call me...One time I even got a text that was meant t be for someone else lol Edited April 8, 2012 by Yare
PhillyDude Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 The thing is that these men only communicate with me via text..even when they cancel dates this is their way of doing it..I feel like there is no effort or no genuine interest if they feel that this is the only way they can talk to me...Of course I go with the flow and text back..One time I called one of them, the day after hanging out and he kind of cut the convo short, so I never called him again. The funny thing is that they keep texting to plan dates with me...and is been over three months..Sometimes days pass by before I get a text from them...It is impersonal..I hate talking on the phone myself, but if you hang out with someone for about 3 months, a call here and there even to say hi won't hurt..and if you need to cancel a date is much better to hear from you, rather than a text that say.."Oh I don't think I'm gonna make it out tonite"...So I decided to ignore the texts from now on...and move on. Obviously you do not like me enough if you can't call me...One time I even got a text that was meant t be for someone else lol Explains why so many females communicate that way with me. They think it's the NORM and I hate it
SmileFace Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Can I put on my OLD profile... "phone calls required?" I already get **** for putting I am sarcastic 1
PhillyDude Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Can I put on my OLD profile... "phone calls required?" I already get **** for putting I am sarcastic Yeah that works, I put in my profile that I don't like texting and prefer to talk on the phone and got a reply from someone who likes to talk on the phone.
SmileFace Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Can I put on my OLD profile... "phone calls required?" I already get **** for putting I am sarcastic Yeah that works, I put in my profile that I don't like texting and prefer to talk on the phone and got a reply from someone who likes to talk on the phone. Ok. I am putting it in, thanks. I am truthfully sick of the text relationships I end up in with guys. Only one guy I met from old has liked phone calls. Which was my ex - we would just talk on the phone to hear each others voice - it is sad how far I have got from that.
PhillyDude Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Ok. I am putting it in, thanks. I am truthfully sick of the text relationships I end up in with guys. Only one guy I met from old has liked phone calls. Which was my ex - we would just talk on the phone to hear each others voice - it is sad how far I have got from that. In 2002 when I gave someone my number from a OLD site, they called me. In 2012, when I give someone my number from a OLD site, they text me first-LOL
SmileFace Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 In 2002 when I gave someone my number from a OLD site, they called me. In 2012, when I give someone my number from a OLD site, they text me first-LOL Ugh... It is so bad. Even when I date older guys they assume I am ok with texting all day. I don't get. I have got into tons of arguments with my last ex. I complained he never called -- he said he never not answered. It comes to the point where I am scared to even call guys. However waiting for them to intiate it doesn't work. I didn't have to deal with this with my other ex or even guys I meet offline. 1
Author Yare Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Ugh... It is so bad. Even when I date older guys they assume I am ok with texting all day. I don't get. I have got into tons of arguments with my last ex. I complained he never called -- he said he never not answered. It comes to the point where I am scared to even call guys. However waiting for them to intiate it doesn't work. I didn't have to deal with this with my other ex or even guys I meet offline. That is exactly how I feel I'm terrified to call them..since their method is texting that means they do not wish to speak to me....Now..If you state "Phone calls required" on your profile, don't you think most guys will shy away from messaging you...Dating sucks, I always feel like I have to keep my distance, or I might blow it, playing the I'm cool with this and that chick is not working...but I don't want to look like I'm a stalker either...ugh!
Author Yare Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 What happened to the days when you talk to your date on the phone getting to know him/her until 2 am ...How can you laugh and get to know someone via text? 1
SmileFace Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 That is exactly how I feel I'm terrified to call them..since their method is texting that means they do not wish to speak to me....Now..If you state "Phone calls required" on your profile, don't you think most guys will shy away from messaging you...Dating sucks, I always feel like I have to keep my distance, or I might blow it, playing the I'm cool with this and that chick is not working...but I don't want to look like I'm a stalker either...ugh! Conforming to what I think guys want doesn't work so I am just going to let them know what I want. If we aren't on the same wave length... On to the next. I recently stayed in contact with a guy for 5 months via text, three months which was long distance but he was more than ok just texting. He finally stopped contacting me when I told him that I am not looking for a text relationship. However that was 2 weeks ago he may start back again lol. 1
Author Yare Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 Conforming to what I think guys want doesn't work so I am just going to let them know what I want. If we aren't on the same wave length... On to the next. I recently stayed in contact with a guy for 5 months via text, three months which was long distance but he was more than ok just texting. He finally stopped contacting me when I told him that I am not looking for a text relationship. However that was 2 weeks ago he may start back again lol. Is like they are scared of calling LOL!!!
SmileFace Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Is like they are scared of calling LOL!!! I really think he would have freaked if I called him but it's my own fault for staying around so long with out progress. I should have just bit the bullet. So much for the guy taking the lead. However I took this as him not being interested but he still kept contact... Shrugs. 1
Ginger Grant Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Connecting is what you do on dates, when you're not out together texting is a convenient way to stay in touch at times that are convenient to you without the hassle of having to schedule in phonecalls when you're both free Hello? You can usually talk on the same device you are using to send texts. Are you dating a foreign diplomat, you have to "schedule in phone calls?" 1
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