Professor X Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 ya it does happen, I just hate being generalized Everyone generalize in every aspect in life, so there's nothing new under the sun. I can tell you from my own experience that a girl I used to pursue after, rejected me after a few dates we had (said we're to different), in return, I turned cold to her, but couldn't completely avoid her as we were studying together at university. Shorty after she started to initiate contact, but I was still cold towards her, and the more I ignored her, the harder she tried and the harder she tried, the colder I became towards her. It all boiled to the point where she had an explosion of emotions, in which she declared her love to me and was willing to give me her virginity. I didn't bite. So as for what you said: A lot of women are like that, not all though.
phineas Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 one thing to note is that there are quite a few guys on here who believe that treating a girl like crap is the best way to go and they claim that they have such great success with women. If they are so great at it then why are they here? Why are you here? Honestly, these are the type of posts that ignite gender wars on this forum. 2
phineas Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Everyone generalize in every aspect in life, so there's nothing new under the sun. I can tell you from my own experience that a girl I used to pursue after, rejected me after a few dates we had (said we're to different), in return, I turned cold to her, but couldn't completely avoid her as we were studying together at university. Shorty after she started to initiate contact, but I was still cold towards her, and the more I ignored her, the harder she tried and the harder she tried, the colder I became towards her. It all boiled to the point where she had an explosion of emotions, in which she declared her love to me and was willing to give me her virginity. I didn't bite. So as for what you said: A lot of women are like that, not all though. I've sadly experienced this type of behavior from many women also over the last few yrs. When I recognize it I run. (unless I havn't had any in while)
Woggle Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 I've sadly experienced this type of behavior from many women also over the last few yrs. When I recognize it I run. (unless I havn't had any in while) Honestly I have too. Every times I was clearly not interested in a woman it like they couldn't get enough of me. My current relationship is the first one where I show interest and she reciprocates and people why it took so long for me to believe this was actually real.
prune juice Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 one thing to note is that there are quite a few guys on here who believe that treating a girl like crap is the best way to go and they claim that they have such great success with women. If they are so great at it then why are they here? evidence supports this belief. i wish it weren't so.
prune juice Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Go over to the "Coping" forum and read the threat "Post here instead of contacting your ex". Many, many of the posts have to do with women pining for a guy who treated them like crap. You will be hard pressed to find any that say "You treated me great and I miss you". The reason for that is that if a guy treats a woman well she dumps him. Nice guys are boring. 99% of guys are nice guys. Woman want to feel alive. Being treated negatively makes women feel more alive than boredom. I hate to keep saying it, but from the book "The Art of Seduction" - "Wounding people binds them to you more deeply than kindness". Women say they want a nice guy. They just don't realize how boring and predictable they are once they get one. it's closer to 20% who are nice guys and they do the worst with women. can't get a date and if they do they don't get far. they get rejected, they get accused of having no backbone. when they try and show a backbone, guess what, they get rejected for being fakes. i've seen a few of my coworkers try the pua/seduction route. embarrassment just begins to explain what happened. they just couldn't do it right. women want a nice guy, for friendship.
RedRobin Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 If they were all so great why aren't you with them? Even nice guys have things that are incompatible... Life goals, lifestyle, priorities, etc. My last ex is a very nice guy. I didn't find him boring at all. Still don't. We are still friends. After much back and forth though, at the end of the day, we couldn't agree on how to put a life together. It happens. He's dating a very nice woman now whom he seems to be more compatible with. If you hang out with emotionally unhealthy people and engage in unhealthy behavior, you are going to attract that. Men who get hung up on the 'nice guy' syndrome probably really are boring people. It has nothing to do with how nice or not nice they are. For a short period, they may manage to emulate the lifestyle and mannerisms of a not-boring person (ie, one with opinions, hobbies, interests, and healthy self-respect) by being what they call a 'jerk'... but most women figure it out pretty quick.
prune juice Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 (edited) Even nice guys have things that are incompatible... Life goals, lifestyle, priorities, etc. My last ex is a very nice guy. I didn't find him boring at all. Still don't. We are still friends. After much back and forth though, at the end of the day, we couldn't agree on how to put a life together. It happens. He's dating a very nice woman now whom he seems to be more compatible with. If you hang out with emotionally unhealthy people and engage in unhealthy behavior, you are going to attract that. Men who get hung up on the 'nice guy' syndrome probably really are boring people. It has nothing to do with how nice or not nice they are. For a short period, they may manage to emulate the lifestyle and mannerisms of a not-boring person (ie, one with opinions, hobbies, interests, and healthy self-respect) by being what they call a 'jerk'... but most women figure it out pretty quick. what is the difference between boring and exciting? guys all over want to know. some coworkers like to computer program as a hobby. everyone, but maybe them, know that's boring. what isn't boring to you gals? Edited April 8, 2012 by prune juice
Author gotye Posted April 8, 2012 Author Posted April 8, 2012 If they were all so great why aren't you with them? You just proved the point. You went from nice guy to nice guy. Had any of them been bad boys you wouldn't have so many nice guys in your dating history. well one guy we moved away from each other and we were really young next guy I broke it off with and he has a new gf and the other dumped me I am still young, too early to stay with one guy forever, no matter how perfect
wwwjd Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 I am still young, too early to stay with one guy forever, no matter how perfect Now... why is that? Did someone tell you that you "HAVE TOO" play the field or something? I don't get it. Isn't there less heart ache in finding one halfway decent guy and GROWING in love together? Has the entire world gone "Trade Up" behind my back?
AlexDP Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 The fact of the matter though is that some women really do seem to gravitate towards men that mistreat them. Look at how many women have a thing for guys like Chris Brown. Rihanna is rich and can have any man she wants yet she is fixated on him. One look at Rihanna's lyrics tells me she's seriously disturbed. And if she isn't, she's singing for a disturbed crowd. I highly doubt that you can generalise and take Rihanna as the prime example of your thesis.
prune juice Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Now... why is that? Did someone tell you that you "HAVE TOO" play the field or something? I don't get it. Isn't there less heart ache in finding one halfway decent guy and GROWING in love together? Has the entire world gone "Trade Up" behind my back? its the cold hard reality of dating and it isn't just the young who trade up.
wwwjd Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 with the divorce rate above 50%, maybe THAT way isn't working too well. maybe it is time to consider to "Growing in love" method. :)
NXS Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 I think what's wrong with a lot of "nice guys" is they are too spineless to stand up to women and get their needs met. Instead of the direct approach they do all kinds of things to get into their good books, expecting it to be reciprocated. However what annoys a lot of men is women who constantly whine about how abusive their bf, or men in general, are while completely ignoring the majority of men who aren't the least like that. So a lot of men are sick and tired of hearing from these whining perpetual "poor little victims".
Imajerk17 Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 (edited) Well, the thing that I think annoys guys is that we are seeing something right in front of us, and the women on here are denying it or "spinning" it away: "We want a guy who is nice but he has to have his own opinions-interests-life" Hmmm. Sounds great but I'm still not buying. Then how do you explain all the women on here who have been in bad relationships? I'm not convinced it can be explained away by daddy issues or whatnot. Edited April 8, 2012 by Imajerk17
Imajerk17 Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Well, the thing that I think annoys guys is that we are seeing something right in front of us, and the women on here are denying it or "spinning" it away: "We want a guy who is nice but he has to have his own opinions-interests-life-self respect..." Hmmm. Then how do you explain all the women on here who have been in bad relationships? I'm not convinced it can be explained away by daddy issues or whatnot.
Imajerk17 Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 I think what's wrong with a lot of "nice guys" is they are too spineless to stand up to women and get their needs met. Instead of the direct approach they do all kinds of things to get into their good books, expecting it to be reciprocated. However what annoys a lot of men is women who constantly whine about how abusive their bf, or men in general, are while completely ignoring the majority of men who aren't the least like that. So a lot of men are sick and tired of hearing from these whining perpetual "poor little victims". Well-said. I should have just quoted your post instead of writing one of my own.
RedRobin Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Well, the thing that I think annoys guys is that we are seeing something right in front of us, and the women on here are denying it or "spinning" it away: "We want a guy who is nice but he has to have his own opinions-interests-life-self respect..." Hmmm. Then how do you explain all the women on here who have been in bad relationships? I'm not convinced it can be explained away by daddy issues or whatnot. It isn't spinning. The same reason that women fall for men who aren't nice are the same reasons men fall for women who aren't nice. Both need to learn effective communication strategies and stop putting so much stock in superficial things. 1
prune juice Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 It isn't spinning. The same reason that women fall for men who aren't nice are the same reasons men fall for women who aren't nice. Both need to learn effective communication strategies and stop putting so much stock in superficial things. i don't entirely believe this and i've seen women justify behavior by saying such and such man behaved in a similar way. men and women are different. the face of the matter is theres something internal to women that gets triggered by men who are anything but nice. the worse i treat women the better i do. explain that one.
SteveC80 Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Its not pc to say but women by nature want a man whos better then them, what better means can be different to each women but a nice guy whos passive doesnt show status or being better.. The minute a women thinks shes on a higher level or better then her man shes gone
somedude81 Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 A guy who's bad with with women will think he's a nice guy because he sees or hears about guys who are rude, disrespectful, cheats and sometimes abusive to women who still manage to get him while he knows he will never do those things. Because I'll open doors for you and not call you a fat cow, and won't cheat, that means I'm nice. Obviously that's just being a decent human being and doesn't actually make a guy nice. But since there are plenty of guys who do one or more of the above and have no shortage of women things start getting murky to the point that it seems being nice isn't a requirement at all. Then that leads to the belief that being a decent person should be rewarded.
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