What tips would you give the opposite gender?

[carhill]

ditto, except the retire part.

 

Here's a nice map that might help in your relocation plans...

 

National Geographic Magazine's 'Singles Map'

Great tip. Thanks! I found a higher resolution version of that map and it explains a lot, though there may be some substantial redistribution in Cali since the end of easy money, as the map was published in 2007. Sometimes one has to go with the flow.

[Kamille]

Point taken and agreed to some extent, although the over-analysis isn't based on logical stream or model. It's over-emotionalism, where their empathy is over-amped, where any deviance is internalised which triggers their fear of loss/abandonment aka freak-out session.

 

Both the over-analyzers and the "no-boundaries women" are operating out of fear of loss/abandonment. (I should know. BTDT.)

 

But what about the systemizers? Any idea what triggers that impulse? I have a hard time seeing it as fear of loss/abandonment.

[threebyfate]

Both the over-analyzers and the "no-boundaries women" are operating out of fear of loss/abandonment. (I should know. BTDT.)

Exactly.

 

But what about the systemizers? Any idea what triggers that impulse? I have a hard time seeing it as fear of loss/abandonment.

There appear to be three subcategories of systemizers.

1. Those who are systemic in nature, who operate using logic and models but with enough flex to handle relationships,
   
2. those who straddle or leap over the autty/aspie line and;
   
3. control freaks who source from insecurity/fear of loss.
   

[El Brujo]

Initiate contact more often. MUCH more often.

 

Learn to enjoy doing guy things (or at least fake it gracefully).

 

Don't become addicted to stress. If you already are, learn to de-stress.

 

And to hell with guilt!!!

[Woggle]

Another thing is men are not as shallow as some think we are. It takes much more than looks to get a quality man interested.

[somedude81]

Dear men

 

Real life isn't an action movie. Women aren't rewards you get for playing your cards right, being the strong/nic-/smart/rich/mean/ -est person out there, in spite of what those who can't play will try to make you believe.

Which basically means that you aren't entitled to anything. This at least can help with removing the feeling of being cheated out of getting a woman.

 

Unfortunately it also removes a potentially great sort of motivation. Imagine the things that could be done if women were prizes. We'd probably have a cure for cancer, flying cars, and FTL travel.

 

They're built on compatibility. There is a woman out there who is likely to love you for who you are.

(*= point aptly also made by TBF)

Plenty of fish in the sea and all that. At this point, I'm starting to belive that there is not somebody out there for everyone.

 

Right now I'm having a really hard time finding an available single woman. So far all the single girls I've met have been single by choice and didn't want to date. It's basically no different if she had a boyfriend or not, shes' still unavailable. And I hardly have the skills to convince a girl otherwise.

 

Which leads to..

 

Don't waste your time on a woman who doesn't want you.

After spending two years chasing a girl who now refuses to speak to me simply because I couldn't stop liking her, I fully agree with you. The time spent with her was not a waste, but all the emotions and feelings were. I learned a few things and had fun so it definitely wasn't a waste.

 

So be smart. Don't let beauty sway you.

Ugh, so hard to do, but definitely necessary.

 

There is a girl at work who is essentially very cold to me and impossible to talk to, but she's cute and has a nice body so I keep trying like an idiot.

Get to know a woman before you decide she's the one you have to have. Make sure you two are compatible, whatever your compatible is.

Sigh.

 

Sadly, just because I think a woman is compatible doesn't mean she's going to think the same way. After what happened with the last girl, I'm questioning how important compatibility actually is. Aside from the unknown intimate things, she was the absolute perfect match. I highly doubt I'll ever find somebody that I am as compatible with.

 

Women aren't all the same. You don't need a guide book to understand us. You just need the ability to communicate, to be open to getting to know someone.

What does communicate actually mean?

 

Getting to know somebody is easy. But that doesn't actually help much with understanding women.

 

Frankly, I believe a guidebook on women should be required reading. And there will be different books for certain age ranges.

[Woggle]

Another one is that men can sense when a woman does not like men very much even if she smiles to our face. We like women that like us.

[g450]

Ladies, PLEASE do not involve your children in the relationship if you are not one that is willing to give every last possible effort to make a relationship work thru hard times. It's not fair to the kids, and it's not fair to the man, and it's what just happened to me.

 

Ditto!

 

I would like to add a few as well:

 

1)Dont force your kids into your new relationship. It may damage it. Take it slow. If and when we are ready for your kids we will let you know in a big way.

 

2)Never ever tell your man that your kids will always be your number one. Most men will not settle for being number two and doing this may backfire on you. There is nothing wrong with your kids being number two because they will eventually grow up and leave the nest. Then what? Your number two man will by then be resentful. Remember, this is the guy you plan on growing old with. Keep that in mind before you put him on the back burner of life.

 

3)Never lie to your man. Ever! That will poison the relationship. And to state the obvious, be faithful! If you feel there are problems in the relationship then TELL US. We may not have a clue that there is a problem. Consider that possibility. We are very simple creatures and we do not do well with inuendos and head games.

 

4)Dont use sex as a weapon. Give if freely and frequently and show him you love him. If you use sex as a reward system for good deeds done then you are not in a marriage. You are simply using him. If you really love him then tell him that every day.

 

5)Let us do our own thing from time to time. Let us drink beer and work on our motorcycle etc. Let us enjoy a hobby.

 

6)Dont let yourself go and keep things in the bedroom interesting.

 

Of course these apply to both sexes.

[g450]

Almost forgot two more:

 

If your man disciplines your kid, back him up 100%. If you cant do that then you shouldnt be in a relationship with him in the first place.

 

Leave your exes in your past. If you want to play games with exes you will destroy any real chance you have with the guy you have now.

Edited April 8, 2012 by g450

[musemaj11]

Dont be cheap, women.

 

It doesnt feel good to be expected to bear financial burden simply because Im a man just like it doesnt feel good to be expected to do all the household chores simply because you are a woman.

[123321]

Blow jobs cover many life situations with love.