2sunny Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 There you have it fella's. The pure unfiltered essence, no bull**** bottom line for many women. And January asks why I just want to get laid. You can buy sex. Plenty of prostitutes everywhere.
CC12 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 If you want to offer a gal any future - you better get a steady, reliable job. There you have it fella's. The pure unfiltered essence, no bull**** bottom line for many women. There you have it, ladies. Watch what you say because surely there's going to be someone who will twist your words around and make you out to be a gold-digging hussy. That is what you were implying, right, Joe? I don't want to speak for 2sunny, because I'm not sure I agree with where she was going with that, but there's nothing wrong with a person wanting their partner to have a steady job. That doesn't automatically make them gold diggers. 1
LexiB Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 since Tuesday after I called her after we lost contact in December, I was trying to start things back up and maybe start dating. The girl has not text me or called since Tuesday to ask how I'm doing or good morning. So I'm curious to see if she is going to call tomorrow since she knows I'm treating because I have already decided not to go on the date. When you are unemployed u have to spend your money wisely:) I have never in my life went on a date with any girl who didn't maintain contact with me leading up to the date. Phillydude, you and this girl are perfect strangers who don't even have a confirmed first meet planned. That you *expect and demand* random "good morning" or "how are you" texts from someone under these circumstances is just bizarre. You keep trying to create intimacy - the illusion of it - with strangers! A stranger is what every single OLD potential is until you meet her in the flesh. Let it go and just roll with the situation. I don't understand all your rules and angst. 4
EasyHeart Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Just for the record, I have never known any girl or woman who would meet the OP's criteria for pre-date contact. I certainly would never, ever, ever have contacted a guy who asked me out on Tuesday for that Saturday. NEVER. He did the asking; he needs to let me know the details. Or I would assume he was not interested in going out with me.And as a guy, I would never, ever expect her to contact me. If I had had that same conversation, I would call her by Friday afternoon at the latest to give her details on when I'll pick her up, where we're going, what to wear, etc. That's just freakin' manners. 4
phineas Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 (edited) Me: What are you doing saturday night? Her: I don't have anything planned Saturday Me: Ok Cool I can come over to Jersey and we can go out to dinner" Her: Ok sounds like a plan Uh, sounds like how I schedule my dates. when I make a date I assume she will be there. If she isn't, she's dead to me. However women interested contact me the night before ALWAYS before I get a chance to. Those who aren't usually wait until last min. to flake. In the case where I am going out of my way or I bought tickets for something I will contact the night before or that morning to verify. Edited April 7, 2012 by phineas
leftfordead2 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 since Tuesday after I called her after we lost contact in December, I was trying to start things back up and maybe start dating. The girl has not text me or called since Tuesday to ask how I'm doing or good morning. So I'm curious to see if she is going to call tomorrow since she knows I'm treating because I have already decided not to go on the date. When you are unemployed u have to spend your money wisely:) I have never in my life went on a date with any girl who didn't maintain contact with me leading up to the date. No wonder you're still single.. 2
zengirl Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I was trying to get something else started with another girl by asking her out but since she never called to say hi or text then that showed I wasn't even on her ONCE in 4 days. So I decided to cancel the date and move on I guess I should have put it in Question form and asked' "How many would still go out with a female if she didn't contact all week leading up to the date?" This is one of those silly pieces of criteria I was talking about that hinder you WAY more than your age and inexperience (though it may come from your inexperience that you say/think such things). Just for the record, I have never known any girl or woman who would meet the OP's criteria for pre-date contact. Agreed, unless the girl was the one who did the initial asking. And even then she probably wouldn't call at the "right" times or for the "right" duration. I certainly would never, ever, ever have contacted a guy who asked me out on Tuesday for that Saturday. NEVER. He did the asking; he needs to let me know the details. Or I would assume he was not interested in going out with me. No. And if I were PD in that conversation, even as a woman, I would follow up with the fella who had the girl's lines in this case. I have asked guys out and I've suggested a proper time and place to meet. At that point, personally, on either side, I see no reason for continued contact till the time of the date, unless something needs to be adjusted, though many people will send a message the day before or day of just to say they're excited to see you or whatnot. I think that's fine either way -- not a requisite, and not a major turnoff if someone sends a message saying, "Looking forward to tomorrow night!" It's usually a little bit nice to do, from a female perspective, but few women do it before a first date because it's not usually considered socially acceptable, I think. More women I know will send the little text AFTER the date, and more men will send the little text BEFORE. Exceptions abound.
Pierre Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I have already decided not to go because she made no effort to contact me again after I called her on Tuesday. Why do you folks plan a date with women that you hardly know? Women that you are afraid to text or calle? Why do you men keep track of the frequency of contact? Everybody is different. Even the most non-materialistic women may still be turned off by men that appear to be very cheap when dating.
Imajerk17 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 PD you have more rules than a chick. Set up the date down to place and time of meet and then you send a text 12--24 hours before saying you're looking forward to meeting up. Simple. 3
phineas Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 phillydude, aware me. why don't you have a job again? are you collecting unemployment? Does unemployment pay more than working 40hrs minimum wage? I honestly can't remember NOT ever working for any great length of time even when in highschool. Unless unemployment covered my bills i'd be shoveling sheet to make ends meet. Then again, I live near rural area's so farms always need people to muck out stables. It's a great work out also.
dasein Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 You don't have a date. Just the mutual intent to make one, which you haven't followed up on. The ones who are constantly contacting you before dates are the ones to -avoid- not the cool ones -with a life- who expect to stick to their plans and for you to stick to yours. Personally, I don't want to hear from them at all between dates until we start getting close to exclusivity, it's one way people end up going too fast. 1
Author PhillyDude Posted April 7, 2012 Author Posted April 7, 2012 I know it's easier said then done but try to change your approach. Like I said most women won't call before a first date to confirm, not even the day of. Try not contacting a woman that you wish to see for a second date untill at least a couple of days later. Keep contact light and try to avoid lengthy phone calls with your dates until after the 4th date. Show interest in your dates, and keep light contact in between at first. Is this a bullet proof plan? No, some women are set in their ways to how they want to be courted and will not change it. So yes ships can still pass in the night but what I'm going to start doing is pretending each woman I date is madly in love with me and is very shy so I'm more confident in my approach. But don't cancel a date for something like that, your holding yourself back and should't be. BTW just for background: What's the longest you have dated a woman? It wasn't about confirmation, it was about someone showing interest in how I;m doing 2 days later and sending a text saying..."how are you today"
Author PhillyDude Posted April 7, 2012 Author Posted April 7, 2012 Phillydude, you and this girl are perfect strangers who don't even have a confirmed first meet planned. That you *expect and demand* random "good morning" or "how are you" texts from someone under these circumstances is just bizarre. You keep trying to create intimacy - the illusion of it - with strangers! A stranger is what every single OLD potential is until you meet her in the flesh. Let it go and just roll with the situation. I don't understand all your rules and angst. we are not strangers, we met in november and lost contact in January because she was dealing with health issues. So I called and asked how she was doing and she said she is doing much better health wise. That's when I asked her out. So the fact that she has my number in her phone, I figure she would atleast show some interest before the date instead of not saying nothing at all Like I said before, if a woman is making her interest in me very clear, there is not a such thing as me being cheap
mortensorchid Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 It is now Saturday evening. Have you made contact and have you arranged the get together?
starla33 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Befor a first date, Always for me. Philly, your philosophy will cause u to die alone man. I'm bithching because a woman I went out with 3 times never initiated contact and u want contact before a 1st date? Assume it's all go unless she calls to cancel. Wow! You made a plan what more is there to check in about? No girl in her right mind would keep checking in before a first date!!! It's your job to check in a day or so before to make sure you are still on.
RedRobin Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 (edited) I have already decided not to go because she made no effort to contact me again after I called her on Tuesday. SHE CAN'T READ YOUR MIND. She may just not want to appear 'needy'. I may touch base the day of, but usually I just expect the person to be there if plans were made the same week. 3-4 days is what it really was. You really expected more contact before meeting someone for the first time? Man, you are just constantly shooting yourself in the foot... Edited: Sorry, I just read that you'd met her once before... That still is not enough to write her off. You sound like the woman in that other thread who was doing pre-emptive dumps because she was afraid and feeling insecure. So, you put yourself out there, and you are feeling afraid now? Take a deep breath. It's gonna be ok. I hope you went on that date... Edited April 7, 2012 by RedRobin
Author PhillyDude Posted April 8, 2012 Author Posted April 8, 2012 It is now Saturday evening. Have you made contact and have you arranged the get together? Nope, home in my drawls about to eat some Doritos and was it down with some Lemonade while I watch the game
leftfordead2 Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Nope, home in my drawls about to eat some Doritos and was it down with some Lemonade while I watch the game And that's how you are going to spend the rest of your life unless your ****ed up attitude changes. So tell us, what must the girl do to get your approval stamp? For the record, I think the girl was lucky that you didn't follow up, would have wasted her time definitely. 1
2sunny Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 I guess he's looking for a needy gal - one that will cling on.
CarrieT Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Nope, home in my drawls about to eat some Doritos and was it down with some Lemonade while I watch the game Did you at least have the courtesy to let her know? Courtesy is reciprocated, after all...
Author PhillyDude Posted April 8, 2012 Author Posted April 8, 2012 I guess he's looking for a needy gal - one that will cling on. No I; looking for a girl like last year who text me in the morning in between dates and called me at night and i returned the call and the back and forth was a strong sign that we liked each other. Not setting up a date on a Tuesday and not talking again until Saturday. Who the hell does that? And any guy who would take a woman out and she shows no interest in between dates is either 1. Trying to get the A$$ 2. A loser I'm not the one night stand type since I like to build toward a relationship
2sunny Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 No I; looking for a girl like last year who text me in the morning in between dates and called me at night and i returned the call and the back and forth was a strong sign that we liked each other. Not setting up a date on a Tuesday and not talking again until Saturday. Who the hell does that? And any guy who would take a woman out and she shows no interest in between dates is either 1. Trying to get the A$$ 2. A loser I'm not the one night stand type since I like to build toward a relationship You talk out of both sides of your mouth. I've seen threads you posted where you've said you don't want to spend money on them - you just want to get laid. So really, you are doing both 1 and 2 that you list here. Without consistency from you - it's hard to believe anything you're typing.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 OMFG, you stood someone up because you couldn't say "we still on for tonight?" Or by bring proactive and saying "just let me know before Saturday if it's still a go." Ugh, lame weird floating standards. If you want HER to chase, put it in your dating profile. It always surprises me the results some people expect to get for putting in the least amount of effort that they deem possible. 1
Author PhillyDude Posted April 8, 2012 Author Posted April 8, 2012 Did you at least have the courtesy to let her know? Courtesy is reciprocated, after all... I didn't let her know sh*t. She has my number and could have called so it obviously didn't mean much to her. And that's fine by me. And the fact that I received a $150 fine from the city of philadelphia for littering in public, it was easy to pull out of a date-lol That was a unexpected $150 out of my account
Author PhillyDude Posted April 8, 2012 Author Posted April 8, 2012 You talk out of both sides of your mouth. I've seen threads you posted where you've said you don't want to spend money on them - you just want to get laid. So really, you are doing both 1 and 2 that you list here. Without consistency from you - it's hard to believe anything you're typing. Some guys don't mind going out on a date because they have GAME and know how to get the A$$. In my case, I have no game and I would just be having a night out on the town without any later intimacy involved which is not a good way to spend my money
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