PhillyDude Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 since Tuesday after I called her after we lost contact in December, I was trying to start things back up and maybe start dating. The girl has not text me or called since Tuesday to ask how I'm doing or good morning. So I'm curious to see if she is going to call tomorrow since she knows I'm treating because I have already decided not to go on the date. When you are unemployed u have to spend your money wisely:) I have never in my life went on a date with any girl who didn't maintain contact with me leading up to the date.
Nextlane Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 If she doesn't call all week until Saturday, then you know she's toying with you. Give it time and let her take the bait.
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I don't understand what point you are trying to make here … She knows you are treating … but you aren't going. So what is there to even talk about? 1
january2011 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Have you texted/called her? Perhaps your check-in frequency expectations aren't compatible.
Author PhillyDude Posted April 7, 2012 Author Posted April 7, 2012 Do not put all of your eggs in one basket. You need to be making the move to contact someone else in the meantime. Are you really going to let one girl have this much power over you? They love doing this by the way. I say don't call, you are too busy for her. You are aren't you? Move up the pecking order and waste no time in moving on to your next assignment. Make it a blond this time. I have already decided not to go because she made no effort to contact me again after I called her on Tuesday.
Author PhillyDude Posted April 7, 2012 Author Posted April 7, 2012 I don't understand what point you are trying to make here … She knows you are treating … but you aren't going. So what is there to even talk about? I was trying to get something else started with another girl by asking her out but since she never called to say hi or text then that showed I wasn't even on her ONCE in 4 days. So I decided to cancel the date and move on I guess I should have put it in Question form and asked' "How many would still go out with a female if she didn't contact all week leading up to the date?"
SJC2008 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 (edited) Ok lets start over. Was there a confirmed date with a place and time, the while 9 yards? Edited April 7, 2012 by SJC2008 re write
Author PhillyDude Posted April 7, 2012 Author Posted April 7, 2012 Ok lets afart over. Was there a confirmed date. Me: What are you doing saturday night? Her: I don't have anything planned Saturday Me: Ok Cool I can come over to Jersey and we can go out to dinner" Her: Ok sounds like a plan
SJC2008 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I was trying to get something else started with another girl by asking her out but since she never called to say hi or text then that showed I wasn't even on her ONCE in 4 days. So I decided to cancel the date and move on I guess I should have put it in Question form and asked' "How many would still go out with a female if she didn't contact all week leading up to the date?" Befor a first date, Always for me. Philly, your philosophy will cause u to die alone man. I'm bithching because a woman I went out with 3 times never initiated contact and u want contact before a 1st date? Assume it's all go unless she calls to cancel.
SJC2008 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Me: What are you doing saturday night? Her: I don't have anything planned Saturday Me: Ok Cool I can come over to Jersey and we can go out to dinner" Her: Ok sounds like a plan Yeah it's stil on you to get her the detail. The vast majority of women would not call you yet because it's still on you at this point. The exception being more agressive woman who don't mind asking a man out. 7
january2011 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Holy Terror!! What in the hell does this mean? Check in? What, is this guy 14 and out too late riding his bike. "Check In" The day I have to do that is the day I will check out. Good for you, AvrageJoe! Though I think that you're a prime candidate for finding 'the one', falling head over heals in love and then coming back here to be the resident alphamale-turned-love-guru. Because you doth protest too much and flag-wave about being the treat-em-mean-keep-em type of guy. Inside, I bet you're just a kitten waiting for his mistress 2
Star Gazer Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Me: What are you doing saturday night? Her: I don't have anything planned Saturday Me: Ok Cool I can come over to Jersey and we can go out to dinner" Her: Ok sounds like a plan Given this exchange (you asking HER out), it's on YOU to firm up plans, not her. 4
SJC2008 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I know it's easier said then done but try to change your approach. Like I said most women won't call before a first date to confirm, not even the day of. Try not contacting a woman that you wish to see for a second date untill at least a couple of days later. Keep contact light and try to avoid lengthy phone calls with your dates until after the 4th date. Show interest in your dates, and keep light contact in between at first. Is this a bullet proof plan? No, some women are set in their ways to how they want to be courted and will not change it. So yes ships can still pass in the night but what I'm going to start doing is pretending each woman I date is madly in love with me and is very shy so I'm more confident in my approach. But don't cancel a date for something like that, your holding yourself back and should't be. BTW just for background: What's the longest you have dated a woman?
2sunny Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 It's not her job to chase you. You asked her out - if she confirms ( you should CALL her to confirm time and place) then you should keep your word and go. And pay. Make it clear when you ask that you intend to pay - if you intend to pay. More like - id love to take you out to X restaurant and buy you dinner Saturday. Want to meet there at 7?
Star Gazer Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I have never in my life went on a date with any girl who didn't maintain contact with me leading up to the date. You should start. That said, saying that she should "maintain" contact suggests that there was some contact, initiated by YOU to firm up the date YOU asked her out on, in the first place. She cannot "maintain" that which didn't exist to begin with. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Just for the record, I have never known any girl or woman who would meet the OP's criteria for pre-date contact. I certainly would never, ever, ever have contacted a guy who asked me out on Tuesday for that Saturday. NEVER. He did the asking; he needs to let me know the details. Or I would assume he was not interested in going out with me.
SJC2008 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 It's not her job to chase you. You asked her out - if she confirms ( you should CALL her to confirm time and place) then you should keep your word and go. And pay. Make it clear when you ask that you intend to pay - if you intend to pay. More like - id love to take you out to X restaurant and buy you dinner Saturday. Want to meet there at 7? Don't ever mention the word buy early on IMO. Pay yes, let it be a surprise at the end. IMO if you say I want to buy you dinner it sounds you're putting her on a pedestal or trying to by love.
Star Gazer Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Just for the record, I have never known any girl or woman who would meet the OP's criteria for pre-date contact. Me either. I certainly would never, ever, ever have contacted a guy who asked me out on Tuesday for that Saturday. NEVER. He did the asking; he needs to let me know the details. Or I would assume he was not interested in going out with me. Same.
CC12 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I have never in my life went on a date with any girl who didn't maintain contact with me leading up to the date. How's that been working out for you?
2sunny Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Well - if you're asking for a date - you may want to state the obvious. Place and time. And it's nice if he asked and pays - but I always have money on me so I can buy for myself - especially if I don't like him that much. And I always drive myself to the first date. Safer that way.
2sunny Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Some gals are busy working!!! And tired from WORKING! Catering to your needs may not be her first priority!
TaraMaiden Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Records will show that Phillydude's telephone conversations never go well.....
january2011 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I am not looking for 'the one'. However, I will indulge your sarcasm. After all I am a fan of it. It was well done btw. I am a prime candidate for getting laid. After all, this is what men want. You tell me, month one. The next date you go on (you must be married), humor me. She says, I will under no circumstances ever have sex with you. Ever. You tell me how much your interest in that girl may go up. Prime material, right? You can wait, can't you? She did say never, didn't she. Let's not bull**** each other. I say what I say to cut to the chase. I appreciate that you shoot from the hip. Though I wasn't being sarcastic. I was being very sincere and hopeful for you. Internet stranger that I am and all that. Not quite sure if the rest of your post was directed at me or a hypothetical woman but no, I'm not married and I'm not sure that I'd ever use those words you've written - at least not in the way that you've written them. But y'know whatever works for you in terms of finding partners - short-term/long-term/sex only/relationship/'the one'/'the one for now'/etc.
2sunny Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Philly - you've stated in the past you really aren't interest in buying them anything on a date - its your only intention to get laid. She probably detected your operating method. If you want to offer a gal any future - you better get a steady, reliable job. 1
january2011 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Yes, for women who are looking for financial security as their biggest tickbox item, and let's face it, in this economic climate, not many wouldn't be. But I think that connection and compatibility are much more important. I know women who've chased after the money and while they're financially secure and are unlikelly to ever have to worry about what they can/can't afford, one is left wondering, "where is the love?" and divorce proceedings ensue. It's true that love on it's own doesn't put food on the table or a house over your head but if you ever do find yourself and your partner living in the gutter through a series of unfortunate events, your love for each other, hope, strength and other internal motivations are all you really have to keep your head above water until life deals you a better hand of cards. 1
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