spiderowl Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 (edited) Having seen the interesting thread about whether guys get approached by women, I thought of another question. For guys mostly, but women welcome to add their thoughts: How do you know if a woman is interested in you? What signs from her would you trust? What is it that makes you think she's definitely interested as opposed to might be? I'm curious about this. Damn, I can't edit the title! Edited April 7, 2012 by spiderowl
carhill Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Perhaps reflective of my age and experience, probably when she signs the pre-nup with a smile on her face. I've backed off from the holding hands at death thing since healing from my divorce. TBH, I've seen so much unhealthy and manipulative 'interest' in my life that I really don't care to see any ever again. Title looks fine to me.
Author spiderowl Posted April 7, 2012 Author Posted April 7, 2012 But there must be signs that make you think it's worth trying to get to know her?
january2011 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 (edited) If I'm interested in a guy then I'd want to spend as much time with him (alone) as I could. I'd also look out for him if we were in a group situation and look for opportunities to find out more about him. Edited to add - in a strong mutual attraction situation, there is also this direct 'look' that happens that immediately conveys a feeling of intimacy as though we are the only two people in the room - it's not something I'm able to 'put on' and only occurs when there's strong attraction on both sides. Edited April 7, 2012 by january2011 2
somedude81 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 How do you know if a woman is interested in you? What signs from her would you trust? What is it that makes you think she's definitely interested as opposed to might be? She has sex with me. And even then I wouldn't be 100% sure. 2
TheFinalWord Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 How do you know if a woman is interested in you? What signs from her would you trust? What is it that makes you think she's definitely interested as opposed to might be? If you have the exact answer for that you'd be a millionaire! lol Bro, no man can figure a woman out like a formula. They don't work that way. Men are primarily logic oriented. We're easy to predict, A + B = C. Women rely heavily on emotions (feeling a vibe from a man, is he "exciting", chemistry, etc) which they base a lot of their decision making on; add in menstrual cycles and you can't even relate! Guys are much easier. Attractive + common interests = mate Do you ever hear a guy saying "I want a bad girl who is exciting and lives on the edge" haha no.We don't have all those emotional needs. For me, the sign is if she's flirting. You can't always know for sure though if she's flirting or just being nice. That's where the gamble is. I find there is a time frame when she will flirt and you have to make a move. If you don't act, you get friend zoned. At the end of the day, I don't worry if she likes me anymore. If I'm interested, I let her know. If she's not interested back, then I stop wasting time. It's better to do it up front than to play back and forth games. I've mainly learned that from this board. I'm not jaded about it, I just see countless times (I think there's even a active thread on here now) where girls will string a guy along with no solid answer about her feelings. Don't waste too much time going back and forth in your mind our you'll end up with mind games. 2
Andy_K Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Going out of the way to talk to me or stand near me when she barely knows me and her friends are the other side of the room. Flirty comments and compliments. Laughing at jokes which aren't funny. Touching my leg or arm and seeming overly interested in what I'm saying. Asking me a lot about myself. Standing or sitting much closer to me than normal. Depending on the context, one or a few of these together might constitute a 'green light' to me, in which case if I'm interested I'll make it pretty clear... 1
darkmoon Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 it's once we are talking that i decide - wavelengths and niceness are ok to me, a woman, nobody wants a bastard
insertnamehere Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 The best overt sign, IMHO? It's the forearm touch during conversation. In my experience, that's a BIG neon sign telling you to move forward. In a club or bar setting, I'll offer that almost any conversation from a woman you don't know is a good sign. Well, any conversation beyond "Are you the back of the line?" And even that, if you wanna try to be clever, can be played through. The bigger problem is that a lot of women use the indirect orbit approach. For example, if you're standing by yourself, they'll put themselves three feet away from you and see if you bite. What sucks is most women have a clock in their head when they're doing this. Depending on the woman and the setting, you have somewhere between a minute and a half and five minutes to make a move. Coy kind of quick eye action also is a good sign. If she's repeatedly taking quick glances at you and looking away almost immediately, that's a solid signal. Some folks will tell you that adjusting her hair is a signal. By itself it is not. But, if you're seeing it plus two or three other solid signals, then it is.
counterman Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Definite? You can never be too sure. I've had instances where I thought girls were definitely into me, some turned out to just be really friendly. If she makes an effort to talk to me as opposed to anyone else that might be at an event AND she is flirting and smiling a lot. I've had a few random girls make eye contact with me and smiled. One girl who was in a relationship, put her hand on my thigh and left it lingering there. To be honest, I don't look for any signs of interest or signals. I assume she's interested until proven otherwise.
SJC2008 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Put 100 women in a room with you that are interested for sure and the results would be: Some flirt, SOME would be very strait forward and the rest you probably wont know. Hell a women could be head over heels for you and not initiate contact early on so you wont know. We gotta put ourselves out there!
gaius Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Edited to add - in a strong mutual attraction situation, there is also this direct 'look' that happens that immediately conveys a feeling of intimacy as though we are the only two people in the room - it's not something I'm able to 'put on' and only occurs when there's strong attraction on both sides. Pretty much. I can usually tell after 15 seconds of talking if she's interested or not. It's just a vibe you get. You're doing something wrong if you're busy wondering if she likes you because she's twirling her hair. Look in her eyes, not at her hair.
musemaj11 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I cannot tell if a woman is interested unless she tells me.
Frank13 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 If there are 1000 ways a woman can show interest in you, she can show you 999 of them, and when you try to take it further she will tell you she only sees you as a friend. Then they wonder why they have to practically "hit a guy over the head" to let him know she wants sex or is interested in him. Some do it just for the attention or to know they can get a guy if they want him (boost to their ego) 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I have to admit, when it comes to being flirted with or someone being interested in me I never get it right away If It's just casual/subtle. I always assume it's innocent or someone just being friendly, I'm just about clueless when someone is interested in me because It's not at the forefront of my mind that they are going to do that or even meaning to. So I just dismiss it, just feeling like that probably wasn't intentional or what I thought it was. Not because I lack confidence or anything but because for some reason I'm just not one to quickly determine IF someone is interested and just figure they do that with everyone or that's the way they are or what not, I always find an excuse. When it comes to myself, by the time I get it It's already been pretty obvious. However this is only very early on, there are certain things that do click in my head and let me know that she's interested like the normal things, physical contact, lots of attention and interest. I just don't live by the motto that I can assume everyone will be interested in me and so I don't really pay attention to it, or weigh in on it much.
phineas Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 (edited) If she is paying attention to me I assume she is either interested or looking for attention. so I ask her out if i'm interested & anything but "yes" = not interested. Once I get the "yes" If she doesn't play games & she makes it easy to schedule a date then she is interested. Edited April 7, 2012 by phineas 1
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 About the time I know she wants to bang. Seriously, we are that simple. She has sex with me. And even then I wouldn't be 100% sure. Pretty much. A woman can flake out on a dude right up to the point of having sex. After she has sex with me, then I'll know she's interested.
Fondue Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I cannot tell if a woman is interested unless she tells me. Absolutely this. It's never for certain, never. Even if they give you all the signs, it might just be all part of the "game." She could just be feeding off your attention, not much else.
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