How do you get over your ex friend who turned into your ex boyfriend?

[JengleBells83]

Me and this guy were really good friends for 2 years, he pursued me endlessly and we had a super intense, awesome relationship for 3 months. I was going through hard times, took it out on him, and he said he needed a break and would get in touch with me when he felt better about things. He said he wanted to be friends...but then I found out he started dating a 19 year old girl 7 DAYS later. (he is almost 32). We had it out a bit, and just basically haven't talked at all. I apologized for the slightly mean things that i said to him. After 3 months of no contact, I texted him a few weeks ago, and he did respond...just one word responses. I told him that i was sorry things went down crappy between us, and i'd like to call a truce and be friends. no response. I think this has been so hard for me because i have had absolutely no closure whatsoever, i THOUGHT i knew him and would never have ever dreamed he could be so nasty to me, and he haunts my thoughts every. single. day.

 

My problem is is that i've done all these things to try to get over him...working a lot, going out with friends, going on dates...i have been having fun...but not a day goes by where i don't miss the "good times" and think about him. We broke up 8 months ago, and I'm not over this yet....any ideas? How could someone i thought i knew so well turn out to be so mean? He dj's at this bar, and many of his friends still stay in touch with me, and always want me to come to the bar he dj's at and invites me to parties where he will be...its just hard.

 

Like i said before, i really thought this guy was a good guy, being really good friends and all for like 2 years...but he has definitely changed. He's the one who broke up with me and has a girlfriend, why is he still so nonchalant and wants to act like i meant nothing to him? i would have thought he would have at least wished me well, as i have done for him. I just really need/ want to get over this...even though in my mind and my heart i still feel like we totally belong together, and i cant shake this feeling- but i don't want to be with the guy he is now. oh my, all so confusing. any advice?

[lilyblue]

No advice, unfortunately, but I do understand. Same thing happened to me, except without anything between the two of us leading to the break up. We were such good friends for 3 years, he pursued and pursued me, we got together, had a great time, and then he vanished without saying a word. Just flat out ignored me without telling me he was done dating me (I found out he had gone back to his ex). Still haven't talked to him.

 

It is still so unfathomable to me that my good friend did this. I realize all people consider their bf/gf friends. But it somehow feels different when it starts as a friendship and develops into something more. I just feel like we had a different foundation than people I've just met and soon after gotten into a relationship with. For some reason I trusted him even more I think because I had seen years of him being what I thought was truly himself when he had no reason to act otherwise around me.

 

I'm sorry you're going through this too. It's been 6 months for me and I'm definitely not over it yet either.

[mike588]

I may not have alot of advise for you too but understand what your going thru.

 

I re-connected with an old good friend from many..many years ago. She had been out of a relationship for about a month and we hit it off.

 

We dated for about a year and things were great...we both felt so comfortable in the relationship due to being friends from the past.

 

Then she dumps me in a very cruel..heartless way for her ex....that was 8 months ago and I was crushed..it took along time to deal with it and get over her.

 

I just couldn't imagine that she....such a good friend could do that to me.