HollyBolly Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 when your ex asks about you? We were together for 5 years and broke up 2 months ago and haven't spoken since. I txted her twice and she didn't respond either time. I went strict NC 5 weeks ago. We both live in a very small town and bump into each other quite easily. The few times that we did bump into each other, she was very cold. Well, I guess I was, too. Now I find out that she's been asking the only person that we both talk to how I am doing. If she's so bitter, why on earth would she care? What are your thoughts on this?
TaraMaiden Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 This is just to appease her own curiosity... what she actually wants to know, is - "Is he really managing to survive without me...?" when they ask you directly.... "Hi, just wanted to know how you are.... how's things.... how you doing....?" It's really to appear good-natured, caring and kind - in order to make themselves feel better - about themselves. They're being considerate and checking up on you, just to make sure you're not hurting too badly.... Because if you ARE 'hurting too badly' - that makes THEM look bad, and they don't want that..... 1
Author HollyBolly Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 This is just to appease her own curiosity... what she actually wants to know, is - "Is he really managing to survive without me...?" Thanks for your reply. If that's the case then I'm glad our mutual friend told her I was doing great and moving out of town! Ex also said to our friend, "She must've found someone else..."
TaraMaiden Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I apologise for referring to you as 'he'... should have checked, should have guessed. My bad, sorry.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 This is just to appease her own curiosity... what she actually wants to know, is - "Is he really managing to survive without me...?" when they ask you directly.... "Hi, just wanted to know how you are.... how's things.... how you doing....?" It's really to appear good-natured, caring and kind - in order to make themselves feel better - about themselves. They're being considerate and checking up on you, just to make sure you're not hurting too badly.... Because if you ARE 'hurting too badly' - that makes THEM look bad, and they don't want that..... I always thought they would be secretly happy if we are miserable over them for their ego boost.
Author HollyBolly Posted April 7, 2012 Author Posted April 7, 2012 I apologise for referring to you as 'he'... should have checked, should have guessed. My bad, sorry. LOL No worries, love! No apologies necessary.
Author HollyBolly Posted April 7, 2012 Author Posted April 7, 2012 I always thought they would be secretly happy if we are miserable over them for their ego boost. This is why I am happy our mutual friend didn't tell her that I was, indeed, miserable. They DO want us to be miserable. You are actually right. 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 This is why I am happy our mutual friend didn't tell her that I was, indeed, miserable. They DO want us to be miserable. You are actually right. They say living well is the best revenge:) 1
lizardking8610 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 There could be a few reasons pick the one that best fits your ex-relationship and her personality. 1) She's making sure you're still available just in case things don't work out with the other guys she's with or has in mind (I call this the backburner) 2) She wants you back because she misses you 3) She cares enough to check up and make sure you're doing well (rarely the case) 4) She wants to see if you're as miserable as she is 5) wants to know if you have moved on to something better/worse than her just my $0.02 2
Author HollyBolly Posted April 7, 2012 Author Posted April 7, 2012 They say living well is the best revenge:) I suppose, then, that I have the best revenge! However, it still feels bittersweet. It must take time? 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I suppose, then, that I have the best revenge! However, it still feels bittersweet. It must take time? As much time as you need. And as time passes, so do those awful feelings. 1
Author HollyBolly Posted April 7, 2012 Author Posted April 7, 2012 There could be a few reasons pick the one that best fits your ex-relationship and her personality. 1) She's making sure you're still available just in case things don't work out with the other guys she's with or has in mind (I call this the backburner) 2) She wants you back because she misses you 3) She cares enough to check up and make sure you're doing well (rarely the case) 4) She wants to see if you're as miserable as she is 5) wants to know if you have moved on to something better/worse than her just my $0.02 1, 4 and 5, I reckon. Thank you! I especially like #4.
Author HollyBolly Posted April 7, 2012 Author Posted April 7, 2012 As much time as you need. And as time passes, so do those awful feelings. At least I am moving away! Cannot stand living across the street from her anymore! But I know that time heals. Been there. 1
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