My first post: Any ideas of how to keep house and move out?

[Garymustang1977]

Hello All,

 

It's good to find a good forum like this for divorce advice.

 

My situation is that I'm seeking a divorce from my wife of over 20 years. We have no children and own a home that's 5 years from being paid off with about a $40,000 balance and an approximate monthly note of $1,100. In September of 2011 I told my wife that I'd like a divorce and that I haven't loved her in many years. She wasn't too shocked since there's been no intimacy or affection for at least 3 years now. It's time for both of us to move.

 

She works full-time as a seasonal employee and I work part-time. I've told her that either she can buy me out - my half of the value of the house - or we can sell it. She is refusing to put the house up for sale and doesn't want a roommate to help cover the bills. I told her I want to move out, rent a small apartment and live debt free from now on. I don't want to be irresponsible and simply move out and stop paying the mortgage only to go into default. My credit will be ruined.

 

She's argued that since I'm seeking a divorce I deserve nothing. Of course, that's her being emotional and that's not fair. I sincerely feel bad that she'd have to give up the house, but there's no way she can pay the mortgage on her salary. If she had a roommate that'd help. However, she likes being alone and hates other people around, but that's her issue.

 

Has anyone on this board experienced a similar situation? I wish there was a way to sell my half of the mortgage, but I'm sure there's no such real estate instrument, nor why would anyone want to buy "half" a house?

 

Thanks for any advice,

Gary

[Owl]

What does your attorney advise? What are your state laws for the dispensation of marital assets and debts in divorce?

 

You should be able to find out the latter on the internet. Nearly all county courthouses have a website nowadays.

 

And if she's being uncooperative...then you most definitely should have an attorney.

[TaraMaiden]

First, are you Uk or USA?

 

Secondly, is it a joint mortgage?

[PeineDeCoeur]

According to the legal advice I received, the cleanest way to do this is to sell the marital home, divide the earnings and be done. You will then each have your share to begin again as you see fit...

 

People who are emotionally attached to the home will often make bad (and expensive) decisions around what to do about the house. Since you are ok to move out, at least there won't be a boundary issue. Convincing her of this might be a challenge, tho...

[Garymustang1977]

Thank you to those who replied. I'm sorry I didn't provide the basic legal details. Yes, I'm a USA citizen and we live in Texas. We do jointly own the mortgage and our outstanding debt together. In Texas we have "Community Property Law."

 

I don't have an attorney and am hopeing to not have to hire one since we're very tight on funds. I am willing to get out from our house "cheap." It's worth my peace of mind. The sticking point is her unwillingness to sell the house and she doesn't have money to buy me out.

 

Okay, if I hire an attorney to draft a letter she'd be forced to sell, correct, if I file for divorce? However, if I want to avoid a house sale I could ask her to buy me out at an agreed low price which would cover my share of the outstanding debt. However, how would I get my name off of the outstanding debt and mortgage and transfer it all to her. Is this something we both could do by contacting our mortgage company and credit card companies? I just want out and walking away is worth it since I have earning potential and I'm in excellent health.

 

Thanks for any advice,

Gary

[2sunny]

Most times when the divorce moves along - an agreement is reached on what to do about the common property. If you two don't agree - a judge will decide for you. If you intend to divorce the. File the papers and list all your assets and debts. It does get divided in the end. Heck, if Donald Trump can do it then you can.

 

So in the end she really won't have much say if she doesn't agree to something in the meantime.

 

She probably figures you won't divorce her. She may be calling your bluff.

 

Ether way, I wish you well.

[maybealone]

I can't speak for the laws in Texas, but typically, you would have to come to an agreement about how much she would need to buy you out and if she couldn't, a judge could force you both to sell the house. If she did buy you out, she would have to refinance the remaining mortgage in her name only and you would issue her a quitclaim deed to the house. She possibly could also refinance enough to buy you out; for example, if the mortgage is $40,000 and she needs to give you $30,000 to buy you out, she might be able to refinance for $70,000 if her income is enough to qualify for that.

 

If you make more than her, however, be aware of the spousal support laws of your state. If she really wants to keep the house, she might be willing to try for spousal support even if she normally would not. People can be quite attached to a home.

[carhill]

What percentage of the marital net worth is in the home equity?

 

Yes, I've experienced some of this. I hit the equity while married before filing to free up enough cash to buy exW a house and relieved her of the responsibility of the debt plus quit all claim to the home we bought. She pissed all over herself to get that deal. I kept my property, rentals and business. Win-win.

[Garymustang1977]

Thanks to all you who replied. Carhill you asked: What percentage of the marital net worth is in the home equity? In the current housing economy the selling value might be $150K we owe approximately $40K and are 5 years from payoff. However, and this has been a wedge between us, is that our credit card debt is about 55K. Because of my wifes medical bills and the industry I work in has slowed dramatically with the ecomony, she's been paying with credit in order for us to maintain the same lifestyle. I've told her that we cannon live above our means, so selling the house, paying off debt and each of us going our own ways as a divorced couple is my desire.

 

Like I've said, she's refusing to sell the house. In this economy, I'm not sure how the mortgage company would look at her as someone who could re-finance the loan to free up cash to pay me off my "fair" share. Any opinions?

 

2Sunny, thanks for your well wishes. I do believe she's calling my bluff. I've

told her procrastinating (her usual habit about everything) and not discussing a

solution regarding the house is not an option. If she chooses to do nothing in

the next month or so, I'm filing for divorce and she knows that.

 

Thanks!

Gary

[carhill]

So you estimate around 110K of marital equity in the primary living residence. What percentage of marital net worth is that? 80%? 40%? 10%? What. IME, when looking at the numbers of divorce, look at all the numbers. You've got 55K of unsecured debt against your equity, but that can be disposed of since it's non-recourse. The key to success is finding a formula which works for everyone. OK, she won't sell the house. What else? BTW, I was the same way. My life's work was here. It would have been sold over my dead body. So, we worked out another way. My exW was smart enough not to fight me on that issue. She found other battles to fight. That's what you need to do. Find and fight a battle you can win.