lana_sa Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 He wants to talk to me on private but not add me on his friends list! we are only friends now,and i know he has a gf so i am thinking it might be she? what do you think i should do now? stop all the contact?
RiverRunning Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 He has another girlfriend. So yes, you very much need to not contact him. The fact that you're here and clearly upset that he won't have anything to do with him would indicate to me that you're not over him. And as long as you're not over him, you have no business contacting him - period. And he should be ashamed of himself for trying to take contact with you under the radar. I go off so offensively on this type of behavior because the same crap was done to ME. If you continue along this road, you can do a crapload of damage to this woman's self-esteem. Frankly, she doesn't deserve that. You dumped him or he dumped you. He moved on. It's time for you to move on as well.
Author lana_sa Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 He has another girlfriend. So yes, you very much need to not contact him. The fact that you're here and clearly upset that he won't have anything to do with him would indicate to me that you're not over him. And as long as you're not over him, you have no business contacting him - period. And he should be ashamed of himself for trying to take contact with you under the radar. I go off so offensively on this type of behavior because the same crap was done to ME. If you continue along this road, you can do a crapload of damage to this woman's self-esteem. Frankly, she doesn't deserve that. You dumped him or he dumped you. He moved on. It's time for you to move on as well. How do you mean? what am i doing wrong here? did one of your ex contact his ex or what? and we talk as friends only,but i am not over him i admit
lizardking8610 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Stop Contacting Him!!! Trust me you will only be hurting yourself if you continue contacting him. You are more than likely his back burner project. Meaning he does not want people to know, especially his GF, that you are in contact with him (ie no public FB) In case things dont work out with his current GF he knows that you will be there waiting, all the better to keep tabs on you and string you along via private chat. Please do yourself a favor and move on so you can avoid getting used and feeling even worse. Read the link in my signature that should help you get an idea of where to start
Author lana_sa Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 In case things dont work out with his current GF he knows that you will be there waiting, all the better to keep tabs on you and string you along via private chat. well he does not really give me any hope,we are only friends that is why i find it so weird that he does not want to add me
martin2069 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Just let it go. I have an ex girlfriend who blocks me on FB and on her phone whenever she feels like it. I just let her get on with it now, at first it use to bother me and wonder why she was doing this as it was her that broke up with me. Ex partners should just be left in your past, forget about contacting him, if he was bothered then he would not have a new girlfriend. Get yourself back dating. 1
darkmoon Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 are you this unable to start a new chapter that you can't leave him alone? get counselling
Author lana_sa Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 are you this unable to start a new chapter that you can't leave him alone? get counselling you are over reacting,it is not like i was stalking him,he wanted this contact just as much if not even more
NeverDated Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 you are over reacting,it is not like i was stalking him,he wanted this contact just as much if not even more Yes, because he wants to keep you on the line in case things go bad with the other woman. That's the only reason he would want contact behind her back. It is the rare occasion that you should remain "friends" with your ex. Break on friendly terms, if possible, but you should probably let the "friendship" die. Your relationship is over, and sneaking around to have a secret "friendship" will only create drama, keep you from getting over him, and, like RiverRunning said, mess with the other woman's self-esteem. My boyfriend kept contact with his girlfriend for close to a year after they split, part of that time we were dating. It messed with my head. I still have moments of jealousy - they broke up, why was she so great that he had to answer her calls/texts even though he said he couldn't stand her? Even if you're jealous, you know she didn't do anything to you, so there's no reason to cause her unnecessary pain. And it was no walk in the park for the ex. It wasn't until I demanded he cut off all contact with her that she actually moved on with her life, had her final meltdown over the breakup, and began seriously dating again. Just better for everyone to cut ties.
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