sadbh Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 To cut a looooong story as short as possible; I was with a guy for 5 years, he broke up with me (no 3rd party, fighting etc he says he just felt like it was time to end it), within a week we were talking again and "helping each other through it", it progressed slowly to chatting every day, meeting a couple of times a week, before we decided (around January) we would just "see each other" and take it slow to see if we can make it work. Its been about 6 months and we're still not official but we're trying its going well. Today I did something I know was awful and wrong but I just couldnt help myself. I logged into his facebook and had a look at his inbox. I had no suspicions or anything I was just a bit curious. I found a few conversations from around december (we ended in november) from girls he knows where he was clearly trying to spark up some flirting, saying suggestive things, winky faces, talling them they were hot etc. In one convo with one of his good friends' girlfriend he pushed her into playing a round of 'would you rather' asking questions like 'would u rather be dominated or be incontrol' and 'spit or swallow'. In every one of these conversations (there was about 5) he was clearly pushing the chat into this territory. At the beginning of the break up he used to say how he didnt want 2 even look at another girl for a long time, he wanted to be alone etc. And he really is such a sweet guy and he never did this through our 5 years and just isnt the type of guy that would EVER cheat. I know we werent together when all this happened and there have been no conversations since we decided to give things a go but Im still really really hurt. A guy asked me out around the same time and he FLIPPED. I politely declined and didnt speak to him again but my guy got so upset and insecure about it. So what do I do? I dont want to just end it because I understand that it wasnt really cheating and nothing physical happened. Should I tell him? Will it just add further unnessecary strain to our situation? I know its awful but to be honest I am going to keep an eye on his inbox for a while and maybe if it happens again i'll have to confront him or walk away. If you've read all this thank you and I'd really appreciate some input or advice.
darkmoon Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 you know yourself you weren't together then you snooped you/don't trust me < he says that and you will say..what..
Author sadbh Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 I know you're right. I have no argument other than that he talked to other girls when we werent even together. It makes no sense to confront him now. But that doesnt change the fact that it hurts alot. We were 14 when we got together. Neither of us has ever had another person and our relationship was both our first experiences of flirting/showing interest in/starting a relationship with the opposite sex. So hes never even talked like that with anyone but me in his life. And after 5 years its hard to know that he'd jump so quickly into that mindset ESPECIALLY taking the above into account. Im not going to talk to him him directly about it but I dont want to hide it either if that makes sense? Like I just dont know how to behave or what to say cos I dont want him to know what I did or what I know.
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