RiverRunning Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I've seen a lot of men put on the charm for a woman they're interested in. They make her feel good long enough to get her settled into the relationship. Then, progressively, they start treating her worse and worse. They might suggest an outfit makes her look overweight, criticize something else about her appearance, or start limiting her freedoms. Eventually, you have a woman whose self-esteem is growing lower and lower. Every then and again, the guy might say something nice to her to encourage her to stay and to uplift her a little bit. Then she continues to stay, taking on all of his insults, waiting for him to do something to bolster her self-esteem again. Her self-esteem gets so low that she believes that if she leaves, no one else will want her. Manipulation like this is old hat, though.
gibson Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 (edited) Is it true that if you treat women like dirt, they will stick to you like mud? A women who thinks she isn't worth a crap will. Which makes her not worth a crap.... So you aren't missing anything. My advice... Go for a women that knows her worth and accepts nothing less than your best. Edited April 6, 2012 by gibson 1
TaraMaiden Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I hear my player friends always say this..... What..."Trivial Pursuit" you mean....?
KathyM Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Only women with low self esteem allow men to treat them badly, because they don't feel like they deserve to be treated better, so they put up with crap from men. 1
singlelife Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 It's basically true. most women have low self esteem. This just gives them what they feel comfortable with. That's one of the reason's they run to bad boys.
KathyM Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 It's basically true. most women have low self esteem. This just gives them what they feel comfortable with. That's one of the reason's they run to bad boys. I wouldn't say most women have low self esteem, but certainly a lot of them do, unfortunately, and are too willing to accept poor treatment, because they don't think they deserve to have better.
plowguy1 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I wouldn't say most women have low self esteem, but certainly a lot of them do, unfortunately, and are too willing to accept poor treatment, because they don't think they deserve to have better. I somewhat agree with this, but have observed that most women will put up with crap behavior from a high status guy (one other girls want). rather than good behavior from a lower status guy. so it really comes down to who you are. your player friends are high status guys (or they wouldn't be able to be players) so yes this works for them. If you're just an average guy with an average girl, don't try this.
somedude81 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I've seen a lot of men put on the charm for a woman they're interested in. They make her feel good long enough to get her settled into the relationship. Then, progressively, they start treating her worse and worse. They might suggest an outfit makes her look overweight, criticize something else about her appearance, or start limiting her freedoms. Eventually, you have a woman whose self-esteem is growing lower and lower. Every then and again, the guy might say something nice to her to encourage her to stay and to uplift her a little bit. Then she continues to stay, taking on all of his insults, waiting for him to do something to bolster her self-esteem again. Her self-esteem gets so low that she believes that if she leaves, no one else will want her. Manipulation like this is old hat, though. Men do that intentionally? And it actually works?
dreamingoftigers Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 High-status or low-status guy doesn't matter. Seen it 1000 times, will see it 10000 more. Men do it too, it just isn't talked about as much. They seem to want the demanding, unappeasable girl because it makes her seem like she must have something pretty good going on. Usually it starts off with "my ex was such a turd." Followed by the guy thinking "alright! I'm not a turd so this should be easy to be a superhero in comparison." Then they become the next in the long line of so-labelled "turds." Whenever we try to be better then the last person, it spells trouble. Anyone wailing about their ex very early on should be a HUGE RED FLAG.
plowguy1 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Yup, they do. and yes it does work. "settled into the relationship" means he's convinced her she the one he's chosen from all the others. she will put up with a TON of crap, rather than lose him to someone else. It's easy, all you have to do is be that guy. Easier for some than others though, Funny thing is if He really does fall in love and commit to just her, his days are numbered. unless he keeps her on her toes (a little dirt) it's just a matter of how long. Could be months, could be years, or if she lets herself go, maybe never. this is "love". somedude you're not missing anything but major heartache and a broken family, or a nagging miserable cow. (I know, bitter much?) but I'm a logical person now, I used to believe in love, I don't anymore...
Feelin Frisky Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 That kinda works for those who have the goods to make a woman really want him--looks, money, power, game. Wanting is romance. Having is the beginning of the end of want (for people who just thrive on the want of that extra fine thing). Thus the game of manipulation--Handsome player: "you'll never have another piece like me. Never, you loser whore". Trapped gorgeous chick: "he's so right, I love him".
grkBoy Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I hear my player friends always say this..... Girls with low self-esteem will do that...but if you look at the playas, they never have any respect for these women because they'll allow themselves to be abused. If you want sex, then yeah...it'll work. If you want Ms Right, then this won't work.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 If you want to respect yourself and be a person of value, then it won't work either. A lot of guys say "hey I'm a nice guy but she's not into me even though I followed her to the Moon and back OR she didn't respond the second I walked in the room and hinted towards dating or sex etc." A lot of guys will pretty much meet a girl and do one of two things: 1. They will do a TON of favors, listening, errands and crap for her every stupid whim. They won't see if she is reciprocating or truly interested in HIM but they'll think at this point that they are "friends." "I have this really cool friend John who always listens and gives me advice about what to do about this guy I have a crush on, plus last week he fixed my flat tire. What a nice guy." Duh! Of course you are "friend-zoned!" you never closed the deal by taking it any further. Even if she REALLY likes you, if you dint make it clear that you are into her IN THAT WAY, then, no she isn't going to get it! (until she's much older). Or "nice guys" do these favors for real bitches that wouldn't give them the time of day anyways because they have mother issues (or something) and then they don't get how women just "use" them, even though they practically invited or insisted. They resent how other guys "do less" and have "more options." they expect a girl to "return the favor" right off the bat without being proactive about what they are trying to do to begin with. This doesn't make them nice guys at all. It means they are doing things with a huge expectation attached. That isn't nice. That's really poor boundaries. Other guys expect that if they meet a woman for 15 minutes, brag all about themselves like they have super-powers or whatever they they should be able to ask out a girl that looks good and close the deal. We get hit on ALL THE FREAKING TIME. I'm about 300 lbs. I still get hit on about once every two weeks or so. In all fairness I don't have a wedding ring and I do have a pretty face and really long, beautiful hair. (although it creeps me out at this weight because by this point you must be a fetishist) Just because you come up to me and let me know that you think I'm attractive and you think that you could "rock my world" or what have you, doesn't mean we are going to date or hit the sheets. For starters, I've been married almost six years! (granted it's been rocky but how on Earth would you know anything for sure about me without talking to me?) Girls typically aren't desperate for male attention if they know how to smile and talk to someone. And no, I'm not a flirt. I think a lot of guys think I am an easy mark because of my weight. Ha ha. Too many of them think that, so it skews things. You all aren't going to get supermodels either. There aren't enough supermodels to go around. When dating statistics are crunched they find that overall, young men have VERY UNREALISTIC expectations of sex and dating with the opposite sex. They expect very low effort for a very large payoff. They expect above average looks and an above average sex drive with a very short time between meeting and having sex. This is not reality and it isn't up to women to make that a reality for you. Many of the men on LS seem to have very UNREALISTIC expectations about what they need to put in and get out of a relationship. I have heard so many guys who can't get a date to save the planet either NOT EVEN TRY OR TAKE FOREVER TO TRY (with a TON of excuses) OR act like they are in HIGH DEMAND and get a girl to jump through hoops for them. Yes there is something to be said for attraction, but if you expect a girl to have X measurements in order to be "attracted" to her, then be prepared to either A: hold out for a long time while making yourself as attractive and outgoing as a person like that would need, accepting the fact that you may NEVER get her OR B: choose someone that you can more realistically form a relationship with and see if the attraction forms during the dating process (less then a month though). You don't click with everyone that you would click with RIGHT AWAY. Sorry to go off-topic and rant. END LECTURE.
Thieves Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I don't know about other women, but if you treat me like dirt, that's my cue to say, "Peace out." The women who do allow themselves to be treated like so either: one, don't know any better at the time (most likely due to being young and inexperienced in having healthy relationships), or two, they are somehow convinced that they are able to change the man in question, or that they will change eventually... though their actual success in the past with trying to change the men they date always ends in a way that is, let's just say, less than stellar. This is a very specific minority of women, though, and you can usually point them out after getting to know them for a short while and seeing how they interact with their boyfriends when problems arise in the relationship. I can't count how many times I've talked to women who allowed the men they were with to treat them like dirt, but "let it slide" because "it's not only his fault", or because "things will get better." As you get older though, you begin to realize that the only way a person can change is if they truly decide to. Either way, the point is that it's a negative cycle both ways. I don't want to be the girl who allows her boyfriend to treat her like dirt, and I don't want to date the guys who do treat women like dirt and try to take advantage of them.
Pyro Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I hear my player friends always say this..... any type of 'player' can attract a certain type of girl, so yes when it comes to that certain type of girl then it is true. Now for the sane women that is absolutely not true.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Who wants to walk around covered in mud anyways? It doesn't sound especially fun and sounds pretty tiring.
Pyro Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 What do you classify as sane? We are talking about women, right? C'mon. sane: women who will not tolerate any type of verbal or physical abuse and can see past a 'players' BS.
Pyro Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Why, yes. I outlined that part earlier. Women at times to not want to see past the BS, as you put it. They just don't. Delude yourself if you like and think you are the knight in shinning armor to save the day. Well, you are not, it's a fable a storyline to make little girls happy. But, if you believe that then, live it up! and you know that how? Delude yourself if you like and believe that so much of the female population has a weakness for the guy who will treat her badly.
Pyro Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 They keep coming back around!! This is how I know. Haha Wow. In the meantime you keep getting taxed for being a 'gentleman' at the movies and dinner. Some actually expect this by the way. And the men that do this are chumps. I was asking how you know that they do not want to see past the BS (as you put it) versus not knowing that it is BS. All I know is that I never once had to play games or treat women like garbage to get and keep their attention. If that is what it takes for you to succeed with women then atta boy.
threebyfate Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 *yawns* "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen." This is nothing new and isn't gender binary related. Some people never get suckered, some get suckered here and there and others get suckered all the time. If you're the type of person who enjoys abusing or being abused, you'll employ and enjoy the tactic.
Pyro Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Ah, I misunderstood you, sorry. BS = Drama. Women loooooooooove drama. They do, because it draws attention and women loooooooove attention. You know this. Who set the rule that it had to be positive attention? No one did, right? Attention, is attention is attention and they love it! Therefore even if it is BS, they will look past it because it is still attention. I do it all the time and they don't even know it. I told you earlier it doesn't make sense. And, yes I succeed. different women will love different types of attention. Not all women will go for attention that is drama filled. I personally do not like drama and I will not purposely create it or get involved with it. I have always been perfectly happy being how I am and if that meant missing out on an opportunity or two to 'score' with a woman then.......... woopie.
johan Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Is it true that if you treat women like dirt, they will stick to you like mud? Well, you have to be able to get them wet. 1
Pyro Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I never said all, there are always exceptions to the rule. You do things your way, I do things my way. It doesn't mean your way is correct, it doesn't mean my way is correct. However, I get results. Women do NOT like pushovers and the nice guy. Yeah, that gets them all hot and bothered. Knock yourself out. and now we are back to my first comment where I said that certain women do enjoy being treated like crap and some women will not tolerate it.
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