Been chasing this girl for 6 months. Finally got a 1 on 1 with her at my place...

[neem]

I just asked her, here at work. She told me she is going to be in a bull riding event this Saturday with her dad (this is not an excuse; she's big into horses and ranching and all that stuff). When I brought up Sunday as a possibility, she said that Sunday is her night to just sit around at home and take it easy. We talked about a few other things, and I told her that whenever she wants to catch up on the show, she can come over.

 

It wasn't awkward. She doesn't suddenly hate my guts. And I don't hate hers. And I also don't have any delusions as to what this thing between us could be. I do feel a huge sense of relief now, and I can move on with my life, and try to find someone who likes me as much as I like them. I'm still kinda bummed that things didn't work out with this girl, because I really do like her as a person, and we get along super well, but it is what it is, and there is no need to force the issue anymore. No more texts. No more invites to do stuff. I'll still joke around with her at work, but that's it.

 

Thank you to everyone for all the advice you've given me. I am still new at this, and I hope these last 6 months have given me some valuable experience to build off of. I doubt this will be the last time I post here, but as far as this specific case is concerned, it will be.

 

Thanks.

 

Don't be hard on yourself. I literally went through the exact same thing a few days ago. Chased this girl for a while, she did show more signs of interest though but was impossible to sced a date with her. She ended up saying her ex and her have been talking and its bad timing...whether or not that's true I dunno.

 

Bottom line is, if shes not trying to see you or reschedule proposed dates...shes not emotional available or doesn't want to pursue you romantically. Case and point, I hit up a girl 2 days ago setup through a mutual friend....I proposed a date, she couldn't make it but offered 2 other possible times. No games, straight to the point....that's what you want.

[jobaba]

 

Perhaps I have read way too many of those "Signs that a woman likes you", and they are all lies.

 

 

Yes, yes, YES!

 

Finally a man gets it. Physical signals are BS. They only work for guys who don't need them. Don't get me started on why. Just ignore them.

 

Pay attention to her what kind of a woman she is instead. Her dating style and her character.

Edited April 13, 2012 by jobaba

[jobaba]

Jobaba, this seems like it would be a good topic for a thread.

 

There's got to be a reason why thees approaches keep failing.

 

Sorry it didn't work out, Hugh! You'll find someone else. Just don't wait 6 months to ask her out!

 

I've seen it succeed. I don't know about on the internet, but I've told people, "go for it!" in real life, and it succeeded. I didn't have high hopes for Hugh (6 months is a long time -- he would've gotten a strong signal LONG ago if she was into it) but I still think he benefited by going for it. Only he can really say.

 

It doesn't succeed that often because (A) If the girl was into you and doesn't care if guys approach, she would've either asked you our or given you a HUGE signal by then, and (B) If the girl cares if guys approach, you missed out by not approaching within her timeframe. Many girls have them. I think it's silly, but I guess it depends on what you're looking for. I'm clearly an (A) girl.

 

But sometimes I've seen it work. It's when © The girl wanted to be an A in theory and has nothing against men not approaching in theory and no lady hard-on for Alpha males, but she doesn't have the chutzpah to ever make (A) happen really or (D) The woman had honestly never thought about it --- extremely rare --- and she's going to give it a shot because she's up for trying something different. (D) almost never gets you past date #1.

 

 

I've seen it happen in real life too. Not often, but I've seen cases where friends have hooked up with friends (usually while one of those friends is in a relationship with another friend).

 

In that case, it's less of a 'This person is really growing on me and I think I'm falling for her, I should go for it' type situation and more like, "I always thought you were hot, I've just never gotten the chance to f@ck you."

 

I think for whatever reason if you're really into a person before you know they're into you, you're gonna get rejected. I'm sure there's a reason why...

[HughHardcastle]

Don't be hard on yourself. I literally went through the exact same thing a few days ago. Chased this girl for a while, she did show more signs of interest though but was impossible to sced a date with her. She ended up saying her ex and her have been talking and its bad timing...whether or not that's true I dunno.

 

Bottom line is, if shes not trying to see you or reschedule proposed dates...shes not emotional available or doesn't want to pursue you romantically. Case and point, I hit up a girl 2 days ago setup through a mutual friend....I proposed a date, she couldn't make it but offered 2 other possible times. No games, straight to the point....that's what you want.

 

Well, the two times I have asked her to do something, she re-scheduled herself, and we DID do something. She was really aggressive about coming over to my place, picking the night and time herself.

[RedRobin]

I've had situations where I liked a guy from work or my social circle... and we've done the 'flirty' thing or even went out a couple of times.

 

If things didn't progress past that point, I figured HE wasn't interested (and I'm not shy).

 

A couple of times, the guy has come back and expressed stronger interest later. Sometimes MUCH stronger interest and I'm just not into it. I just can't seem to get myself all worked up again over him after the initial feelings were either rejected or not acted upon.

 

It's actually pretty frustrating for me... so frustrating that I've resorted to sending much stronger moves early on so that he has no doubt about my interest. If he decides to neg on it then, I don't feel bad later.

[Professor X]

Well, the two times I have asked her to do something, she re-scheduled herself, and we DID do something. She was really aggressive about coming over to my place, picking the night and time herself.

 

She could of just felt bad for rejecting you so she wanted to prove something to someone.

 

Really, don't read to much into those stuff. I've heard a crazy chick telling me once she slept with ALL of her friends just cause she didn't wanna say no and ruin their friendship.

 

 

LOL.