Been chasing this girl for 6 months. Finally got a 1 on 1 with her at my place...

April 10, 2012

After consulting with a friend of mine, I am going to flat out ask her out on a date tomorrow. "I think it would be pretty fun if, some night this weekend, we went out and got some dinner and drinks, and then caught up on Game of Thrones." That will tell her, point blank, what my intentions are.

A friend could say the above (tone could be important, I suppose).

Phrases that indicate a date are lacking in that request, especially if you've been hanging out as friends and doing something similar at all.

I agree with phineas that you need to use the word date or at least some equivalent. You don't need to jump all over a girl to show interest, but you do need to be more direct than you think you do.

He is also right that a girl who WANTS to go out with you will be happy that it's officially called a date. Girls love that stuff when they're interested. One of the most frequent complaints girls will make is that a guy they liked asked them to "hang out." Girls who want to date you don't want to "hang out."

So, you should ask her out for real and see where you stand. The truth will be better than drawing it out if it's a no, and maybe it's a yes!

P.S. GoT was really good this week!

April 10, 2012

Is this chick even worth all this trouble? Besides her being attractive and having a vagina, what else does she offer to you OP?

I am not going to dignify that with a response.

I have decided that it would be a little awkward for both of us if I asked her out while at work, where a lot of people could hear. I am going to call her tonight, and straight up ask "Would you like to go out with me this Saturday night, get some drinks, etc."

April 10, 2012

I am not going to dignify that with a response.

I have decided that it would be a little awkward for both of us if I asked her out while at work, where a lot of people could hear. I am going to call her tonight, and straight up ask "Would you like to go out with me this Saturday night, get some drinks, etc."

You're fine doing that Hugh. You know better than to use the word date I'm sure. She'll know what you mean. Good luck!

April 10, 2012

Thanks for dignifying.

Now, you again won't use word date will ya? Grow a pair bro and stop being a loser!

Also, I would assume I was correct....she has nothing to offer you than some sexual release.....

No, you are not correct. I enjoy her company, and like her as a person. Sorry bro, I'm not just out to get laid.

And "would you like to go out with me Saturday night" is asking for a date. It accomplishes the exact same thing as if I were to ask "would you like to go out on a date Saturday night."

April 10, 2012

I am not going to dignify that with a response.

I have decided that it would be a little awkward for both of us if I asked her out while at work, where a lot of people could hear. I am going to call her tonight, and straight up ask "Would you like to go out with me this Saturday night, get some drinks, etc."

"Go out with me" is BETTER than your original phrasing, but I would suggest on Saturday, emphasizing the romantic aspects then and at least saying the word date at some point on the date, i.e. "I'm so happy you agreed to go on a date with me!" if you really don't feel comfortable saying so at work, or texting her "Looking forward to our date, Saturday!" beforehand.

"Go out with me" wouldn't cause confusion in most cases, but if it's been 6 months with no move. . . you might want to be extra clear.

April 10, 2012

"Go out with me" is BETTER than your original phrasing, but I would suggest on Saturday, emphasizing the romantic aspects then and at least saying the word date at some point on the date, i.e. "I'm so happy you agreed to go on a date with me!" if you really don't feel comfortable saying so at work, or texting her "Looking forward to our date, Saturday!" beforehand.

"Go out with me" wouldn't cause confusion in most cases, but if it's been 6 months with no move. . . you might want to be extra clear.

Excellent advice, I'd add that he must make a move if he gets the date. No pressure Hugh, you're pushing it on the whole time thing. Unless you just want to be friends of course.

April 10, 2012

No, you are not correct. I enjoy her company, and like her as a person. Sorry bro, I'm not just out to get laid.

And "would you like to go out with me Saturday night" is asking for a date. It accomplishes the exact same thing as if I were to ask "would you like to go out on a date Saturday night."

Good luck Hugh Heffner!

You know I've been following your story. I hope you score one for our team!

April 10, 2012

...I'm going to jump in and discourage you from assuming negative intentions on the woman's part if she doesn't automatically 'assume' your get together is a 'date'.

It is up to you to make your intentions clear.

Other posters seem to believe women are manipulating men (and maybe some are)... instead of them taking responsibility for their own needs/desires.

Sometimes wires get crossed too... and life is alot easier if you TRY to give other people the benefit of the doubt most of the time... while also doing your best to communicate as clearly as possible.

I agree that saying 'date' somewhere in there, or other things should be clearer than just assuming dinner etc, automatically means 'date'.

April 10, 2012

Good luck but expect nothing.

April 10, 2012

I had to stop reading from nausea after page 3, so I'm not all caught up.

OP, you definitely need to make a move on her next time. That doesn't mean you have to go for sex, but making out is a must. When you're sitting on the loveseat, get up after about 10 minutes and get a pillow, and come back and just say, "here, lay long ways.", and spoon her. Just chill like that for a while with your arm over her stomach. If she grabs your hand, it's a really good sign, but if not that doesn't mean she's not into it. Anyway, at the end of the show, or whenever you feel comfortable, raise up so she kinda falls on her back under you, and pin a kiss on her.

I honestly cannot remember this not working with a girl. If she's okay to spoon, then she's okay to make out.

Also, if when you spoon, she grabs your hand and holds it on her heart(breast)..she wants to bang you.

Edited April 10, 2012 by InJest

April 10, 2012

So, because I didn't try to have sex with her the first time I got her alone, I'm banished to the Friend Zone? Give me a break. That Friend Zone **** is so weak.

There is a fairly narrow window of opportunity when it comes to such things. If a woman comes over to your place and you don't make a move, you are pretty much done.

April 10, 2012

Well, she was only in the office for about 10 minutes today before leaving. I guess she is sick. No big deal, this just pushes things back a day.

April 10, 2012

To me, she seems not interested, and you are way too interested for no justifiable reason.

April 10, 2012

I had to stop reading from nausea after page 3, so I'm not all caught up.

OP, you definitely need to make a move on her next time. That doesn't mean you have to go for sex, but making out is a must. When you're sitting on the loveseat, get up after about 10 minutes and get a pillow, and come back and just say, "here, lay long ways.", and spoon her. Just chill like that for a while with your arm over her stomach. If she grabs your hand, it's a really good sign, but if not that doesn't mean she's not into it. Anyway, at the end of the show, or whenever you feel comfortable, raise up so she kinda falls on her back under you, and pin a kiss on her.

I honestly cannot remember this not working with a girl. If she's okay to spoon, then she's okay to make out.

Also, if when you spoon, she grabs your hand and holds it on her heart(breast)..she wants to bang you.

Whoa slow down. Spooning? I don't think thats the best advice for Hugh at this time. A kiss good night will prove challenging enough I'm sure.

April 10, 2012

To me, she seems not interested, and you are way too interested for no justifiable reason.

Not interested? Then why did she come over the first time? Why did she insist I go to Movie Night two weeks ago, otherwise she wasn't going herself? She likes me, but how much and in what way, has yet to be determined.

April 10, 2012

Not interested? Then why did she come over the first time? Why did she insist I go to Movie Night two weeks ago, otherwise she wasn't going herself? She likes me, but how much and in what way, has yet to be determined.

None of that actually means that she wants to be anything more than friends.

As for her liking you, I've actually had girls tell me that the liked me but not in that way.

Right now, I think you should be planning on what you are going to do if she tells you that she just wants to be your friend and nothing more.

BTW, have you asked her out on a real date yet?

April 10, 2012

Not interested? Then why did she come over the first time? Why did she insist I go to Movie Night two weeks ago, otherwise she wasn't going herself? She likes me, but how much and in what way, has yet to be determined.

Who knows why, doesn't matter really. What matters is you're going to go for it instead of assuming its a lost cause. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Only one way to find out. Good for you.

April 10, 2012

None of that actually means that she wants to be anything more than friends.

As for her liking you, I've actually had girls tell me that the liked me but not in that way.

Right now, I think you should be planning on what you are going to do if she tells you that she just wants to be your friend and nothing more.

BTW, have you asked her out on a real date yet?

No. I was going to do it tonight, but she is sick, so calling her while she's on the crapper isn't an appealing idea to me.

I'll call her tomorrow night. A Wednesday night invite to a Sunday night date? I don't see anything wrong with that.

April 10, 2012

No. I was going to do it tonight, but she is sick, so calling her while she's on the crapper isn't an appealing idea to me.

I'll call her tomorrow night. A Wednesday night invite to a Sunday night date? I don't see anything wrong with that.

call and make the date, but don't pin all your hopes in one girl. its a recipe for disaster. are there other prospects?

April 10, 2012

call and make the date, but don't pin all your hopes in one girl. its a recipe for disaster. are there other prospects?

No. Although I am going out with a friend of mine on Friday night to try and FIND some prospects.

And I don't get why everyone here is saying stuff like "it's a recipe for disaster". You don't know me. If she turns me down, I will take it like a man, and move on with my life. And I am not going to then just ignore this girl forever. I can live with the fact that she likes me, just not in a romantic, relationshippy way. I will go find someone else.

April 11, 2012

Hugh, if you can get her on a date sometime, you MUST drop the nice-guy attitude. If she is a young woman, it will be exceptionally boring for her, she will get everything she wants from you, basically all your attention, and she will feel nothing because you're too boring. If she says, I want to do this; I bet you say, "it's whatever you want." That is good for long-term relationships but it can be boring when you're first meeting someone. Make sure you have an opinion on something and tell her what you want, and then try to sound like you wouldn't care if she doesn't like it.

You must detach, act aloof, and act like a douche just a small bit for her to notice, and then switch back over to your normal self. In your house, take up all the room on the couch, and when she says where am I going to sit, then you say, "Oh! I forgot" and then scoot over. That's a little bit of a douche, but just enough of a nice guy too.

I would say you need to be assertive, but I think you should bump it up a lot.

April 11, 2012

No. Although I am going out with a friend of mine on Friday night to try and FIND some prospects.

And I don't get why everyone here is saying stuff like "it's a recipe for disaster". You don't know me. If she turns me down, I will take it like a man, and move on with my life. And I am not going to then just ignore this girl forever. I can live with the fact that she likes me, just not in a romantic, relationshippy way. I will go find someone else.

its because some men build things up with a girl they heardly know hoping she'l be the one, only to have their hearts dashed. good on you for looking for more prospects.

April 11, 2012

Hugh, if you can get her on a date sometime, you MUST drop the nice-guy attitude. If she is a young woman, it will be exceptionally boring for her, she will get everything she wants from you, basically all your attention, and she will feel nothing because you're too boring. If she says, I want to do this; I bet you say, "it's whatever you want." That is good for long-term relationships but it can be boring when you're first meeting someone. Make sure you have an opinion on something and tell her what you want, and then try to sound like you wouldn't care if she doesn't like it.

You must detach, act aloof, and act like a douche just a small bit for her to notice, and then switch back over to your normal self. In your house, take up all the room on the couch, and when she says where am I going to sit, then you say, "Oh! I forgot" and then scoot over. That's a little bit of a douche, but just enough of a nice guy too.

I would say you need to be assertive, but I think you should bump it up a lot.

this is why dating is so f*cked up. at least your honest. this is why i now just go for sex and i'm not the only guy sick of it going for sex.

April 11, 2012

Hugh, if you can get her on a date sometime, you MUST drop the nice-guy attitude. If she is a young woman, it will be exceptionally boring for her, she will get everything she wants from you, basically all your attention, and she will feel nothing because you're too boring. If she says, I want to do this; I bet you say, "it's whatever you want." That is good for long-term relationships but it can be boring when you're first meeting someone. Make sure you have an opinion on something and tell her what you want, and then try to sound like you wouldn't care if she doesn't like it.

You must detach, act aloof, and act like a douche just a small bit for her to notice, and then switch back over to your normal self. In your house, take up all the room on the couch, and when she says where am I going to sit, then you say, "Oh! I forgot" and then scoot over. That's a little bit of a douche, but just enough of a nice guy too.

I would say you need to be assertive, but I think you should bump it up a lot.

Well, the thing with me is, it turns out all this time, I have been using perfect "cocky funny" technique on this girl. However, that is just my nature. I love to make everyone laugh, no matter who they are. And I can sometimes be a bit of a dick to her, but she knows it's all in good fun.

April 11, 2012

No. Although I am going out with a friend of mine on Friday night to try and FIND some prospects.

And I don't get why everyone here is saying stuff like "it's a recipe for disaster". You don't know me. If she turns me down, I will take it like a man, and move on with my life. And I am not going to then just ignore this girl forever. I can live with the fact that she likes me, just not in a romantic, relationshippy way. I will go find someone else.

Because they've been there before. And so have I.

Your spirits are high right now, because the answer is still in doubt. But if/when the rejection is final, it's gonna suck.

And god dude, you have to see her 5 days a week. It's obvious you have real feelings for this girl. That is REALLY bad.

But ... it's pretty obvious you're going to keep going through with it, so Good Luck!

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Been chasing this girl for 6 months. Finally got a 1 on 1 with her at my place...

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