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Been chasing this girl for 6 months. Finally got a 1 on 1 with her at my place...

HughHardcastle

By HughHardcastle
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ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

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If I'm alone at my house with a woman she is putting out or getting out.

Women know why a man invites them over to his house.

 

Hence why I don't invite them over until I've got a few date's under my belt with them.

What if they invite you? And ask you to sleep over? ("oh, nothings going to happen.....")

 

:laugh: don't worry, I know the answer lol

phineas Established Member

phineas

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What if they invite you? And ask you to sleep over? ("oh, nothings going to happen.....")

 

:laugh: don't worry, I know the answer lol

 

I sleep naked. :)

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HughHardcastle Established Member

HughHardcastle

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Ok then, where do I go from here? Anyone have an idea as to how I can make my intentions with her known when she comes over here next time?

 

Potentially stupid idea: I have a loveseat in my apartment. Last night, she sat in it, and I sat in another chair. Maybe when she comes over the next time, I sit in the loveseat and tell her she can sit with me? Is that too corny or creepy?

 

You probably all know by now how new I am at all of this, so I have no clue what I am doing, or if women are weirded out or like certain things.

ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

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Ok then, where do I go from here? Anyone have an idea as to how I can make my intentions with her known when she comes over here next time?

 

Potentially stupid idea: I have a loveseat in my apartment. Last night, she sat in it, and I sat in another chair. Maybe when she comes over the next time, I sit in the loveseat and tell her she can sit with me? Is that too corny or creepy?

 

You probably all know by now how new I am at all of this, so I have no clue what I am doing, or if women are weirded out or like certain things.

I can't help you, I can only tell you that what you're doing won't work because I did it already. Do the opposite of what I did, or forget about her. BTW, try that line on her next time, it might work. Don't force it though, practice saying it if you must :D

ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

Posted
Posted
Ok then, where do I go from here? Anyone have an idea as to how I can make my intentions with her known when she comes over here next time?

 

Potentially stupid idea: I have a loveseat in my apartment. Last night, she sat in it, and I sat in another chair. Maybe when she comes over the next time, I sit in the loveseat and tell her she can sit with me? Is that too corny or creepy?

 

You probably all know by now how new I am at all of this, so I have no clue what I am doing, or if women are weirded out or like certain things.

I can't help you too much :laugh:, I can only tell you that what you're doing won't work because I did it already. Do the opposite of what I did, or forget about her. BTW, try that line on her next time, it might work. Don't force it though, practice saying it if you must :D.

 

Maybe some others will chime in with better advice

FitChick Established Member

FitChick

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Make sure the loveseat is the only place she can sit. Put your unfolded laundry in the chair. Then put food and drinks in front of the loveseat, sit next to her and offer her some. Put your arm over the back of the loveseat behind her so you can slide it down over her shoulder later on. Get either a romantic chick flick or a scary one so she can pretend she is afraid and snuggle against you.

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HughHardcastle Established Member

HughHardcastle

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Make sure the loveseat is the only place she can sit. Put your unfolded laundry in the chair. Then put food and drinks in front of the loveseat, sit next to her and offer her some. Put your arm over the back of the loveseat behind her so you can slide it down over her shoulder later on. Get either a romantic chick flick or a scary one so she can pretend she is afraid and snuggle against you.
Well, she is coming over to watch Game of Thrones, which is neither romantic or scary!

 

I do like the idea of putting something in the other chair though.

RachR Established Member

RachR

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I have a simpler idea - How about you just let her sit first, then sit right next to her?

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HughHardcastle Established Member

HughHardcastle

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I have a simpler idea - How about you just let her sit first, then sit right next to her?

That's a good idea.

spiderowl Established Member

spiderowl

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No, you didn't blow it. It's not respectful to leap on a girl as soon as you get her alone. You need to build trust while showing her that you are attracted and interested in romance not just friendship. You can do this playfully, by for example, taking her hand to compare it with yours but then letting her go. Give her the impression at all times that she is entirely free to choose whether to take it further or not. You could tell her you think she's gorgeous but you're not going to pressure her. Let her know that there's plenty of time for you to get to know each other and you are in no rush. If she likes you, she'll start moving towards you because she'll know she doesn't need to be on guard against you making moves, then you can respond and be warm. When you get physically more comfortable with each other, that would be the time to take it further, with her agreement of course.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Could of decent tips.

 

My advice, try but don't expect anything, it may already be too late.

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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I'm happy that you felt good about your time with her. I don't agree with those who say that you should have made a make-out move on her the first time together alone at your house. I do think that you will have to let her know that your intentions are not to be her buddy soon, though.

 

Good luck and have fun.

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dispatch3d Established Member

dispatch3d

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6 months means she's probably not interested. Just sayin.

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HughHardcastle Established Member

HughHardcastle

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6 months means she's probably not interested. Just sayin.

Then why does she suddenly seem interested now? She's had enough time to know me as a person, and she likes what she sees.

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HughHardcastle Established Member

HughHardcastle

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You could tell her you think she's gorgeous but you're not going to pressure her. Let her know that there's plenty of time for you to get to know each other and you are in no rush. If she likes you, she'll start moving towards you because she'll know she doesn't need to be on guard against you making moves, then you can respond and be warm. When you get physically more comfortable with each other, that would be the time to take it further, with her agreement of course.
Doesn't that fly in the face of the old rule "Never tell them how you feel about them" and the idea that it makes THEM have all the power at that point? I really would like to tell her how I feel about her, but I don't know if that would be the right thing to do at this point.
eleanorhurting Established Member

eleanorhurting

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Then why does she suddenly seem interested now? She's had enough time to know me as a person, and she likes what she sees.

 

she might be recently single and craving attention/validation from someone who she knows is sweet and reliable

 

just saying

i've been there and done that.

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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she might be recently single and craving attention/validation from someone who she knows is sweet and reliable

 

just saying

i've been there and done that.

And how did it turn out?

veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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And how did it turn out?

 

LOL she used guys for attention and affection, I'm sure it turned out nicely for her and pretty badly for them. Classy ;) Poor guys.

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Yamaha Established Member

Yamaha

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I think it's way to late but you can try flirting with her and see if she responds. If she acts uptight or uncomfortable then stay with the work friendship and look for a different girl to date.

 

Give her some compliments to gage her interest!

And if you have to ask what kind of compliments then just move over and let the next guy date her.

PlumPrincess Established Member

PlumPrincess

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I think she put you in the friendzone a long time ago. :confused: And she never assumed that anything was going to happen between you on that night, it was just something that friends do. If you had made a move on her, she probably would have freaked out. And if you're going to ask her out on a date now, she will probably say no. I think women have a very keen sense of guys who are not sure of themselves and usually don't want to date them.

jobaba Established Member

jobaba

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Hugh, I have been following your story.

 

The same thing happened to me. I fell for a co-worker, made a move in October and got rejected. However, unlike you, I did knowing that my work assignment was coming to an end. If I had to continue to see her and watch her flirt with and date other men (all of which happened), I'd have gone nuts. I commend you for your fortitude.

 

Long story short, the woman I fell for was not a good woman. I let her good points and my lust cloud my judgement. The events that have happened since October have proved to me that I couldn't have been more wrong about her. And I think the same is true for the girl you are chasing.

 

I asked her today if she wanted to come over and watch it, and she said she might, if she wasn't too tired from working her 2 jobs today. Gee, where have I heard that excuse before? She never showed up, didn't text to say she was too tired, nothing. Once again, I've been burned. You were all right, I was wrong. This sucks. I am done trying to figure out what I am to her. It's pretty obvious I am nothing, and will always be nothing.

 

That's a post from one of your previous threads. She doesn't care about you and she ain't a good gal. You know how I know? BECAUSE I'VE MET GOOD GALS AND AM DATING ONE NOW AND THEY DON'T PULL THAT KIND OF SH@T.

 

Your judgement is clouded right now because you lust for her and see her good points. Everybody has some good points.

 

Is there a possibility that you guys might hook up if you continue to pursue? Slim, but there. Will it turn out good for you? No.

 

Really, really look over her character and be critical. My guess is she's really cute and has charmed you into thinking you guys are real close. You're probably not much to her in reality, as a romantic interest or a friend. I can tell you are a real good dude, and you deserve better than this woman. Like was said before in this thread (although from the woman's side), been there done that. ;)

Edited by jobaba
PlumPrincess Established Member

PlumPrincess

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Hugh, I have been following your story.

 

The same thing happened to me. I fell for a co-worker, made a move in October and got rejected. However, unlike you, I did knowing that my work assignment was coming to an end. If I had to continue to see her and watch her flirt with and date other men (all of which happened), I'd have gone nuts. I commend you for your fortitude.

 

Long story short, the woman I fell for was not a good woman. I let her good points and my lust cloud my judgement. The events that have happened since October have proved to me that I couldn't have been more wrong about her. And I think the same is true for the girl you are chasing.

 

I asked her today if she wanted to come over and watch it, and she said she might, if she wasn't too tired from working her 2 jobs today. Gee, where have I heard that excuse before? She never showed up, didn't text to say she was too tired, nothing. Once again, I've been burned. You were all right, I was wrong. This sucks. I am done trying to figure out what I am to her. It's pretty obvious I am nothing, and will always be nothing.

 

That's a post from one of your previous threads. She doesn't care about you and she ain't a good gal. You know how I know? BECAUSE I'VE MET GOOD GALS AND AM DATING ONE NOW AND THEY DON'T PULL THAT KIND OF SH@T.

 

Your judgement is clouded right now because you lust for her and see her good points. Everybody has some good points.

 

Is there a possibility that you guys might hook up if you continue to pursue? Slim, but there. Will it turn out good for you? No.

 

Really, really look over her character and be critical. My guess is she's really cute and has charmed you into thinking you guys are real close. You're probably not much to her in reality, as a romantic interest or a friend. I can tell you are a real good dude, and you deserve better than this woman. Like was said before in this thread (although from the woman's side), been there done that. ;)

Hey, you seem to be overly critical of this woman. :confused: Just because he likes her, doesn't mean she likes him back. And if he wants more than friendship, why does he beat around the bush and pretends to be her friend? I mean, how is this woman supposed to react? Tell him, "Uh, you know, I think you want to be more than friends and your invitation for a movie is a thinly veiled attempt to be alone with me so you can make your move. I'm really not attracted to you and the idea of becoming physical with you puts me off, therefore I will have to decline your invitation." Better now? :rolleyes:

kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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Dude when you dont act upon things like this, you can end up friendzoning yourself. Be a man and just go get her OP.

Cracker Jack Established Member

Cracker Jack

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Man, I really feel sorry for you. I know exactly how oneitis feels, and it sucks. My situations were a bit different. Honestly, anything's possible, but you would've been in a much better position asking her out much earlier. I know you've heard that more than enough times, but that's what it really comes down to.

 

You should still try regardless, just so you could know for yourself. Don't just take the easy way out and do nothing.

jobaba Established Member

jobaba

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Hey, you seem to be overly critical of this woman. :confused: Just because he likes her, doesn't mean she likes him back. And if he wants more than friendship, why does he beat around the bush and pretends to be her friend? I mean, how is this woman supposed to react? Tell him, "Uh, you know, I think you want to be more than friends and your invitation for a movie is a thinly veiled attempt to be alone with me so you can make your move. I'm really not attracted to you and the idea of becoming physical with you puts me off, therefore I will have to decline your invitation." Better now? :rolleyes:

 

You might think blowing a guy off (that you know and see often) and not returning texts because you have no romantic interest in him is OK.

 

I don't.

 

I know girls that won't, and I can get them, and I don't need to deal with women who don't respect me. Fini...

 

(And if the girl had interest in being REAL friends, she wouldn't blow him off either. Yes, I have REAL female friends too.)

Edited by jobaba
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