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Been chasing this girl for 6 months. Finally got a 1 on 1 with her at my place...

HughHardcastle

By HughHardcastle
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HughHardcastle Established Member

HughHardcastle

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Those unfamiliar with my history with this girl, please check out my previous posts. Or read this: met girl in October. Asked her out in December. She flaked. We still get along amazingly well. Last couple weeks she's seemed to warm to the ideas of doing stuff with me.

 

 

So what happened was, I asked this girl I have been working with if she wanted to watch Game of Thrones on Sunday night. She gave me somewhat of a yes on Saturday night via text, but Sunday came and she told me she was too sick to come over. On Monday, she re-scheduled for

Thursday.

 

If you came here expecting some hot story about making out, sorry, you won't get it. We watched Game of Thrones, and then the new South Park, and she left. I loved it though. Just being around her makes me feel like I'm actually worthwhile to someone (other than my mom). And I almost get the feeling that she was testing me tonight. We've known each other for 6 months now, and I've never made it super clear how I feel about her, but she knows. She knows I have SOME kind of feelings for her, and tonight, I wonder if she thought I was going to act on those. I did NOT want to get her alone for the first time, and try to make a bunch of moves or anything like that. That's not who I am. She knows that now, and I hope she'll be more comfortable doing things with me, now that she knows I actually enjoy her company, and her as a person, and I'm not just out to get laid.

 

So my question is, did I blow it by not trying SOMETHING with her?

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SadGrl Member

SadGrl

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Those unfamiliar with my history with this girl, please check out my previous posts. Or read this: met girl in October. Asked her out in December. She flaked. We still get along amazingly well. Last couple weeks she's seemed to warm to the ideas of doing stuff with me.

 

 

So what happened was, I asked this girl I have been working with if she wanted to watch Game of Thrones on Sunday night. She gave me somewhat of a yes on Saturday night via text, but Sunday came and she told me she was too sick to come over. On Monday, she re-scheduled for

Thursday.

 

If you came here expecting some hot story about making out, sorry, you won't get it. We watched Game of Thrones, and then the new South Park, and she left. I loved it though. Just being around her makes me feel like I'm actually worthwhile to someone (other than my mom). And I almost get the feeling that she was testing me tonight. We've known each other for 6 months now, and I've never made it super clear how I feel about her, but she knows. She knows I have SOME kind of feelings for her, and tonight, I wonder if she thought I was going to act on those. I did NOT want to get her alone for the first time, and try to make a bunch of moves or anything like that. That's not who I am. She knows that now, and I hope she'll be more comfortable doing things with me, now that she knows I actually enjoy her company, and her as a person, and I'm not just out to get laid.

 

So my question is, did I blow it by not trying SOMETHING with her?

 

Yes you did bro, 6 months you wait and then do nothing?....you must be a virgin....

veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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Most likely you're firmly in the friendzone. You should have put your arm around her, kissed her, SOMETHING that is above "friends". Also--ask her on a REAL date, that will tell you more. Have you talked to her since?

Nikki Sahagin Established Member

Nikki Sahagin

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I don't think you blew it. It was a first date and you guys enjoyed yourselves and had a good time. Are you going to arrange another date?

SadGrl Member

SadGrl

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This was not a date as he said, it was just to friends watching a sh*tty show, that was created by the Illuminati to make idiots of us all. It worked on OP...the TV and the show made him less of a Man and more of a loser.

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HughHardcastle Established Member

HughHardcastle

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I don't think you blew it. It was a first date and you guys enjoyed yourselves and had a good time. Are you going to arrange another date?

 

Would you consider that a "date", because I wouldn't. I am going to ask her today if she's got plans tonight after she finishes up at a work thing.

 

Also, she enjoyed herself last night, which gives me the chance to show her how I feel the next time she comes over.

HeavyHitter Member

HeavyHitter

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I kinda agree with the others. It seems you did blow the chance and she was probably waiting for you to make a move however, why after half a year she decides she's going to give you a chance? Women who do that after such a long period is usually because they don't have a stud at the moment, and so they "settle down" with the "good guy."

 

My advice would be to move on and find a woman who reciprocates feelings towards you.

ThatDudeXO Established Member

ThatDudeXO

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Invite her round or out. Make a move, if she rejects you then **** happens. Next.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Sorry, it doesn't mean anything.

 

I've been in that situation a few times with different girls who knew I liked them.

 

The only way to find out if she wants to be more than friends is to try something with her. Until you do that, she can spend time with you and pretend you don't like her.

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HughHardcastle Established Member

HughHardcastle

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I think I am going to ask her to dinner, and then television at my house, next time. That way, I'll have a couple chances to initiate some contact with her. Plus, asking her to dinner first, then TV = date, I don't care who you ask.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Plus, asking her to dinner first, then TV = date, I don't care who you ask.
If only it were that simple.

 

It doesn't matter if you take her to dinner or have a walk in the park, what does matter is whether you make your intentions known. And that's usually done through a physical action.

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Mr. Slim Established Member

Mr. Slim

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If you were truly looking for an opening and it wasn't there then you did not blow it. Unless you've never successfully made a move then trust your instincts. Focus on having a good time.

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HughHardcastle Established Member

HughHardcastle

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If only it were that simple.

 

It doesn't matter if you take her to dinner or have a walk in the park, what does matter is whether you make your intentions known. And that's usually done through a physical action.

I understand that. And the next time I am with her, I will try to do so. This would be so much easier if I had a couch!

Professor X Established Member

Professor X

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I did NOT want to get her alone for the first time, and try to make a bunch of moves or anything like that. That's not who I am. She knows that now, and I hope she'll be more comfortable doing things with me, now that she knows I actually enjoy her company, and her as a person, and I'm not just out to get laid.

 

So my question is, did I blow it by not trying SOMETHING with her?

 

Welcome to the friend-zone! Can we offer you something to drink? Perhaps a cup of tea?

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Oxy Moronovich Established Member

Oxy Moronovich

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I understand that. And the next time I am with her, I will try to do so. This would be so much easier if I had a couch!

You said she's "a girl I've been working with". Does that mean volunteer work, temp, or a full-time job? If it's the first two then that's not so bad. But if it's a full-time job coworker then let it go. Dating someone you work with full-time is always a bad idea. Too many people have to learn this the hard way.

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HughHardcastle Established Member

HughHardcastle

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You said she's "a girl I've been working with". Does that mean volunteer work, temp, or a full-time job? If it's the first two then that's not so bad. But if it's a full-time job coworker then let it go. Dating someone you work with full-time is always a bad idea. Too many people have to learn this the hard way.
Sorry, not going to just forget about her and move on because we work together. We are both mature adults, and if she doesn't want a relationship, we can be friends, and everything will be fine.
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HughHardcastle Established Member

HughHardcastle

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Welcome to the friend-zone! Can we offer you something to drink? Perhaps a cup of tea?

So, because I didn't try to have sex with her the first time I got her alone, I'm banished to the Friend Zone? Give me a break. That Friend Zone **** is so weak.

Oxy Moronovich Established Member

Oxy Moronovich

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Sorry, not going to just forget about her and move on because we work together. We are both mature adults, and if she doesn't want a relationship, we can be friends, and everything will be fine.

Like I said, some people have to learn the hard way that you don't date coworkers.

 

So, because I didn't try to have sex with her the first time I got her alone, I'm banished to the Friend Zone? Give me a break. That Friend Zone **** is so weak.

Not necessarily. You've known her since October. She flaked on you in December. You haven't been getting anywhere. If she truly wanted you, wouldn't she have given you the attention you desire by now?

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HughHardcastle Established Member

HughHardcastle

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Like I said, some people have to learn the hard way that you don't date coworkers.

 

 

Not necessarily. You've known her since October. She flaked on you in December. You haven't been getting anywhere. If she truly wanted you, wouldn't she have given you the attention you desire by now?

Every day I read in the paper the marriage announcements. How did a lot of those couples meet? Funny, they met at work. Not saying I am going to get married. Just saying it's been known to happen. I don't care if other people have had bad experiences with it. I know her, and I know me. Nothing bad will happen.

 

And she got a boyfriend in January, but was always still super friendly to me at work. She broke up with him (I think it got messy) a couple weeks ago, and since then, she's been nicer than usual to me.

Oxy Moronovich Established Member

Oxy Moronovich

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Every day I read in the paper the marriage announcements. How did a lot of those couples meet? Funny, they met at work. Not saying I am going to get married. Just saying it's been known to happen. I don't care if other people have had bad experiences with it. I know her, and I know me. Nothing bad will happen.

 

And she got a boyfriend in January, but was always still super friendly to me at work. She broke up with him (I think it got messy) a couple weeks ago, and since then, she's been nicer than usual to me.

I read marriage announcements in the papers too. You know what else I read in the papers? I read about how divorce rates are increasing. Funny that.

 

Listen, I'm not trying to mess things up for you. But you need some self-confidence. As a guy who lived in both St. Cloud and the Twin Cities, I understand the chicks there are unfriendly. But that's no excuse to let yourself be roped by one chick. She met you in October, she flaked on you December, she screwed another guy in January, and now she's happy you're giving her an ego boost. You said you know her. Do you know if the type of behavior she's exhibiting toward you is the type of behavior you want from a future wife?

ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

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Been there, done that my friend. It's probably not gonna happen unless you make a move. I never made the move.......so it never happened. The longer you leave it, the harder it will be to make that move too, you will have way too much emotional investments to be able to rationally deal with a potential rejection.

 

I eventually did make a move on the girl I liked (like 3 years later :laugh:), in fact we had a night planned to have sex, possibly in a hotel. She changed her mind the night before, and ever since then I never really pushed beyond that point as I convinced myself that it was never meant to be. We still talk so one day maybe, but I'm certainly not holding out on that.

 

Best thing to do would be to either make a move or completely forget about it, no half-stepping.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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I eventually did make a move on the girl I liked (like 3 years later :laugh:), in fact we had a night planned to have sex, possibly in a hotel. She changed her mind the night before, and ever since then I never really pushed beyond that poin

LOL

 

Planning to plan the first sex. Well you already know how that turns out.

ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

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LOL

 

Planning to plan the first sex. Well you already know how that turns out.

Yeah I know, it was pretty funny actually, it makes me giggle thinking about it. We were flirting for weeks, and I started to see her more frequently, then one night she called me at like 3am talking about how she was thinking about me and giving it all that talk :laugh:. It was the first time I had ever had any kind of convo like that, and I'm almost embarrassed to say I was SOOOO out of my depth!!!

 

It went from me being a virgin, to if I was comfortable with fingering, she kept asking me about my penis saying she doesn't like it too big........she even asked me about scratching, biting and hair pulling :eek:.

 

I tell you, in the time I have known, talked to, and crushed on that girl, I've learned so much :lmao:

phineas Established Member

phineas

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If I'm alone at my house with a woman she is putting out or getting out.

Women know why a man invites them over to his house.

 

Hence why I don't invite them over until I've got a few date's under my belt with them.

Professor X Established Member

Professor X

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So, because I didn't try to have sex with her the first time I got her alone, I'm banished to the Friend Zone? Give me a break. That Friend Zone **** is so weak.

 

Cookies and milk it is!

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