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got answers just not the ones I wanted


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Posted

I called him this morning for answers or closure or to vent, not sure what I expected but he's done this to me before (see my past posts regarding his depression). He said he was sorry but that he needs to be selfish and work on him. he said I was trying to make this about me. All I wanted was some appreciation for everything I went through with him this post few Weeks and he said it wasn't about me and that's why he shut me out.

 

Is it so wrong that after him putting me through this many times and me sticking by his side that I would want to feel appreciated? Do I really need to feel guilty for needing that when he's the one with the sickness? I'm angry and hurt but starting to see that this is a pattern and it's not me who had the issues.

 

I'm mad at myself because I had hope and now I have to start over.

Posted

Of course you're allowed to feel what you feel - there is no right or wrong about it.

 

However, it seems that he can't cope with thinking about anyone else but himself. Nor responds to anyone else's needs. This means that, unfortunately for you, it's not about what you want or think he owes you - he's clearly not in a position to give you anything other than more pain and anger.

 

I'd take his cue and focus on yourself.

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Posted

Thanks January, I should've known better. I should've known he wasn't healthy and that I'd have to walk away feeling like this.

Posted

No worries. You feel what you feel. But at least you're also able to step back from the emotions a little bit and realise that this isn't the right relationship for you. I think a lot of people in your situation are not able to do that. Good luck with your healing.

Posted

Be careful about directing that anger at yourself.

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