NXS Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I was wondering if any other guys have this problem - women who have a false sense of your attraction to them. I'm talking about women you are in regular contact with through work, social settings etc. who go out of their way to let you know they're not attracted to you and seem to think you want to get into their panties at every opportunity. I currently have this situation in work, there's a woman who constantly makes subtle signals that she's not attracted to me and misinterprets any attention I give her as wanting the above. She seems to have an over-inflated opinion of her value and I don't really find her attractive at all. I've experienced this plenty of times before and didn't know how to deal with it, so I'd usually go out of my way to avoid interacting with them as much as possible. It gets annoying after a while and feels like too much work, it also feels like having to justify my actions is playing into her silly games. So do any of you guys experience this? and if so how do you handle it? Can the women here give any insight into this?
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Hmmmmm... Normally a woman only thinks a guy is really interested if she is picking up on some signs. Of course maybe she just really likes you, or is just a big flirt in general. If you don't particularly like the attention, I would just not react to it. This might 'spur' her on a little at first if she thinks you're playing hard to get, but after a while she will realise it's a lost cause. Be friendly, but not overtly so or flirtacious - she will soon realise you don't like her the way she likes you.
Author NXS Posted April 7, 2012 Author Posted April 7, 2012 Ok maybe I’m not explaining it properly. I don’t think she’s interested in me at all, she’s not trying to play hard to get or any of that stuff which is fine with me. However she seems feel the need to go out of her way to give subtle signs that she’s not interested. It’s like she automatically expects that I should be interested in her, that she’s such an attractive woman that I should want to get into her panties and that it’s her position to let men, or at least me in particular, know that my “advances” are unwelcome. I suspect it’s that she just can’t handle the fact that not every man is interested in her. I’ve had plenty of experiences with women like this before and it drives me nuts. What drives me nuts about it is having to continuously walk around her being extra careful what I say or do, and somehow justify my motivations for say: cracking a joke or asking her a work-related question. Sometimes I just feel like blurting it straight out that I’m not interested in her, but that’s obviously out of the question given that it’s a work environment. I find these situations difficult to handle, there must be some kind of subtle hint I can give her to stop playing her stupid games.
dsw31 Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 I would just say ignore her for the most part.Only have any kind of contact when it is absolutely necessary & even then, just keep it short.Don't let it get to you,she is nobody to you-just someone you have to work with.
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Don't concern yourself about what people who aren't important in your life think of you. Who knows. Maybe she is delusional. Leave her to her dreams.
whichwayisup Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Hate to say it, but start being less nice to her and act aloof. Not rude or anything..Be nice but firm. Do the I'm too busy thing and don't spend time with her anymore, only on a professional level. She'll either get the hint or if her ego IS that big, she may ask you what's up and try flirting with you (all to make herself feel good)..
threebyfate Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 (edited) This is really odd. Are you sure you're not misinterpreting her actions? Is it possible you give out a "too friendly" vibe since this has happened many times before? I deliberately put out the "off vibe" when a guy starts getting too familiar, joking around about things that feel invasive. This doesn't necessarily mean that I think he's interested, but that he's pushing into my courtesy space, my comfort zone. As an example, a guy who's sense of humour is too crude. Should add that I use this with women too and not because I believe they're interested. Edited April 8, 2012 by threebyfate
Author NXS Posted April 8, 2012 Author Posted April 8, 2012 This is really odd. Are you sure you're not misinterpreting her actions? Is it possible you give out a "too friendly" vibe since this has happened many times before? I deliberately put out the "off vibe" when a guy starts getting too familiar, joking around about things that feel invasive. This doesn't necessarily mean that I think he's interested, but that he's pushing into my courtesy space, my comfort zone. As an example, a guy who's sense of humour is too crude. Should add that I use this with women too and not because I believe they're interested. Hmm, there could be something in this. The office is a very friendly place and there's often a lot of sexual flirtation/inuendos back and forth. With the other women they either initiate it or start laughing about it. I noticed that she wasn't comfortable with it even towards the other women, so I avoided her in any of these exchanges. I assumed, perhaps wrongly, that it was her perception that I was coming onto her rather than just not being comfortable about it.
Recommended Posts